Oh Deer! I'm Late!

A long time ago, I realized that no matter how much time I give myself I will always be running just a couple of minutes late. If I give myself extra time, I will somehow dawdle my time away and am left running out the door.

It leaves me in a constant state of hurry, but unlike a certain white rabbit, it doesn’t bother me too much. Instead it just leaves me thinking, “Aww shucks! I’m going to be late. At least it’s nothing important.”

Today, I actually headed out the door early. I was all set for a good morning and what would surely be a great day… all because I was ahead of schedule. Then, as I was cruising up to some flashing police lights, fate stepped in and I would be late yet again.

I was forced to a screeching halt so as not to rear-end the screeching halt of the car before me. Two cops were stopping traffic both ways, gathering unknowing spectators for a show that was about to start. One was carrying a very sophisticated rifle… I know it was sophisticated because it was all black! He led our attention to the grassy median where a baby deer looked back curiously from the ground. Its leg was covered in blood. The police officer positioned himself about five feet from the deer. Thirty seconds of morbid expectation later, the gun sounded.

They then waved traffic on, the show was over. I’m not much of a gun-loving woodsman, but I understand that there is an over-population of deer. Hunting is somewhat of a necessity. I get it, but right in front of me, really?

The deer had been hit by a car. He was probably thinking, “There is a serious over-population of cars around here.” I just might have to agree with him on that one – if it weren’t for all these cars, I’d have no problem getting to work on time. Then maybe I could finally put that white rabbit to rest.

Oil Change

I am not a mechanic. The only things I know about how my car is doing I learn from the lights that pop up on my dash. “Check Engine,” “Check Fluids,” the Oil Tank Lamp, “Brakes Out!” my car screams in red and yellow lights and I translate that into “I need a mechanic!” The other lights, the “Gas Low” light and the flashing seat belt guy, I can usually take care of on my own.

Of all those, it’s the flashing seat belt guy that actually screams at you. You’d think the other ones would be just as important, but I guess not. If your brakes go out, everything will be okay as long as your seat belt is on.

My new car, which’s aging as we speak, has several features that I love, and I seem to be finding new ones by the day. There is no Oil Tank Lamp, for instance. Instead, the odometer disappears and in its place is “Oil Life – 10%”, which I’ve since learned to access for an Oil Life Update. Unlike the demanding lights of yesteryear, this car merely suggests that it would be wise to get an oil change. I love it!

About a week ago, on my way to work, a new light popped up that was not nearly as suggestive. It was a picture of a flat tire with an exclamation point! It demanded immediate attention! I counted my lucky stars that I made it to work in one piece. Then on my way to home via the tire shop, the light disappeared. And homeward I continued.

I realized it must be just be the change in weather, with fronts and circling high pressure systems and the like. It apparently wasn’t so urgent, but the Oil Life Update reported just a 30% Oil Life, so I decided to see a mechanic to get an oil change and check my tires, because I am no mechanic.

Now, I am no mechanic, and as it turns out, my mechanic is no John Duffy, meaning just an all-around great guy. I took my car to Goodyear Gemini Tire and Auto in Gainesville , VA where it was worked on by Justin. After three hours of waiting, (and at least a dozen people coming in asking that their tires be looked at because a warning light came on… I’m sure they love that), I picked up my keys and paid for their services.

Glad to be done with it, I headed to my car with a skip in my step. I revved my engine and watched as the panel of lights all go off, save one, a glowing flat tire with an exclamation point. I waited a bit too patiently for the light to go off, before my spirits dropped and I turned to the Oil Life Update, which still read 30%.

If this were the stock market, futures would be down ahead of the bell.

I went back in and explained the issue, Justin from Goodyear Gemini Tire and Auto in Gainesville , VA was scolded and I watched my car through the window this time as they worked on it and finished it up in fifteen minutes.

It was bizarre and makes me suspicious of all mechanics, but the silver lining… I don’t know what Justin did, but now it takes a really long time until my flashing seat belt guy starts to make noise. It’s probably not a good thing, but I can almost make it to the traffic light without having to worry about my seat belt!

Cold and Hungry

It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything substantial. I could point the finger at several things - for instance, we our somehow blocked from using our speedy internet “provider” and are left using a very slow, very choppy internet. But the thing that’s been weighing me down the most is my most recent challenge, which I’m failing at miserably.

I’ve also spent some time wondering what the hell I’m writing a blog for anyways. It seems that writing about whatever you please can never improve your situation… and could quite possibly be damaging somewhere down the line. If I were to run for President of the World or Secretary of the PTA or something, I feel like my inability to cook dinner… or maintain a blog, would somehow come back to haunt me.

Maybe all my posts should be about my brilliant ideas!
Or maybe just about my toenails.

I’m getting sidetracked and will now resort to talking about the weather. Blimey, it’s cold! It’s so cold that Tiff started playing Christmas music and I didn’t think anything of it. Now that I’m a homeowner, though, this change-in-weather-thing is a little frightening. There’s that chance that the furnace won’t start or that it won’t stop heating the house until the whole place burns down. That might be a remote chance, admittedly.

There’s also the issue of cost, which leads me to the question of when are you suppose to turn on your heat. This weekend it was cold. Very cold. But Tiff and I knew that we’d be spending much of Saturday away so we didn’t turn on the heat. Plus, energy efficient experts say that the proper temperature for the evenings is a brisk 55 degrees. T-shirt weather!

Come Sunday morning, we were still in the clear with our thermostat reading a stifling 56 degrees! I finally decided to crank on the heat though, as the news report included frost and some snowflakes in the area. Now, as the temperature warms back up this week, I’m left with the cold.

Redskins Win!

Two days after an amazing U2 concert experience left Tiff saying that "It would take a lot to get me go back to Fedex Field," we were given tickets to return to see the Washington Redskins. Thanks Jay! Tiff's not much of a football fan, but there was no question that this was the big event that would have her return. And boy, am I glad we did.

It was awesome. Tiff has an amazing knack for catching great moments of sports games on film with the baseball game, which she barely missed me catching a foul ball, and the soccer game, which she caught the tying goal in the closing seconds. Today though she had to work at, but she got this:

Pretty cool eh? The place went crazy and the Redskins were about to tie it up, but they missed the point after, Doh!

The next series was the big 50-plus yard touchdown that proved to be the game winner, but we don't have that one on film. The Redskins won the game and "Hail to the Redskins!" could be heard all the way till we reached the highway.

Our seats were in the swanky Upper Suite Level and included an all-you-can-eat buffet and we matched the challenge of eating all that we can eat, which makes a great game that much greater.

On a side note: I'm still a huge DC United fan, but it would be nice if they'd win a game once in a while.

U2 Can Rock!

Last Tuesday, I got to see one of the greatest bands of all-time. I've talked about how great U2 is before after seeing their 3-D concert movie, but being there at the show, along with 80,000 of my closest friends, was a truly amazing experience, even from third-level seating behind the stage.

I'm not even that big of a fan, really, but something about their music is suited for huge crowds and everyone singing together. It's hard to compare it to anything, but I would say that, with that many people, it was as close to a religious experience as I've had in a long time. A bit of overstatement, maybe, but that's my line and sticking with it.

Not everyone agreed though. After the show, while I'm still amazed by what I just saw - the music and the stage-presence of the band - I was standing in line for the bathroom behind two guys complaining about the show. Or complaining about something. One said, "I lost interest after he mentioned Nancy Pelosi," who along with a fairly good size list of politicians was in attendance. There was no praise or support for them, Bono - U2's highly political front-man - thanked them for being there. The only praise given was to the USA in general and to President Bush for his work with AIDS reduction in Africa.

The other one in the bathroom was saying, "how much of the money they get do they actually give back? Maybe 2 cents for every dollar... I've lost all my respect for them." What? Really? I don't understand people. And they're not alone! That's what they were talking about on the morning radio show the next day! Most everyone who called in agreed! I don't get it. It was a rock concert!

Whatever... it was just a strange part of an awesome experience. It didn't ruin it one bit. The traffic though, that almost did. Three hours to and three hours back to a venue, Fedex Field, less than an hour away. On the way back, the first two hours were spent sitting in the parking lot watching nobody move.

It made for a very long night and had Tiff saying that she'd never go there again.

Montage

Tiff put together a montage of a few of the better clips from our night of Quelf... one of the greatest games of all time.

Johnny Bubblenut

I mentioned Quelf in passing a few weeks ago. It is truly one of the greatest games around. It is however completely random and you have to be willing to do anything and everything from writing and performing your own song to putting six ice cubes down your shorts until you roll a three with the dice.

We got the chance to play this weekend, and Tiff had the camera out at every chance. There were quite a few good ones, but many were too long and just too randomly nonsensical to include. But here's one that I had to do... and every action I made was laid out in the instructions on the card.

Everything except the tie around my head... that was a game-long rule that I had to have a tie around my head like a ninja.

The lighting's not so good because Tiff was acting like Siamese twins with our friend Dustin, so she had moved her seat.

Anyways, Quelf... anyone who's up for fun, and making fun of himself, should give it a shot.

Food For Thought

Today, I treated myself to Chik-Fil-A. I’m not sure why, it just sounded really good. Chik-Fil-A proudly claims, repeatedly on every wall, that they “didn’t invent the chicken, just the chicken sandwich.” I don’t know who invented what, but both inventions – the chicken and the chicken sandwich - should go down as miracles. Their sandwiches are just that good.

But here’s the strange part… the music. They weren’t playing “Top40Hits” or “Music While You Work” or “Today’s Best Music” or even some sort of Country that I’ve come to expect at places like that. They were playing straight up Gospel, with a little bit of God Rock in there.

I didn’t recognize it at first. It all kind of sounds the same to me. But as I was watching the water change color in the urinal, I heard something like “Praise Out to Jesus” being sung over and over. I tuned into it after that, and every song offered joy-filled adoration and praise to our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

I was a bit surprised to say the least. I mean I get Chik-Fil-A maintains this closed-on-Sundays, holier-than-thou image. And their chicken, I believe, is truly heaven-sent to satisfy my deepest cravings. Plus, the people at this particular Chik-Fil-A were Ned Flanders happy and helpful – they took my tray when I was done!, but not before asking if I’d like more fries, on the house.

I declined the fries, but it all got me thinking; is it okay for a general business, open to the public, to play god music? I pondered it and decided that I would expect a McKosher-Fil-A King to play some sort of Hassidic chanting… or at least hope that it would. Somehow though, it doesn’t seem right. This wasn’t the Christian Café, it was Chick-Fil-A. I think it might have just been a bit too close to my shaky faith to be honest.

In the end though, I was cool with it. I praised out to Jesus and enjoyed my sandwich miracle. I did not get a milkshake, even though they are some of the best around... even though they are sinfully delicious.

OMG! IHDEM!

Yesterday I went to the dentist to have my cavities filled. My usual dentist wasn’t there, so just like in school, they brought in a substitute. And just like in school, the substitute wasn’t very good. It was awful and I hate the dentist even more. I started recounting my trials to Tiff and she couldn’t stop laughing at me, so she turned on the camera.

Basically what happened was… after me knocking onto the floor all the stuff that would go into my mouth as I was reclining from sitting to laying down, which I had no control over, I got three abnormally painful shots. They got the top half of my mouth feeling all funny, but they didn’t do the trick for the bottom. So, I got two more shots for the bottom.

The dentist starts working on the top and drill, drill, drill… OW! Insane amount of pain. I raise my hand like I’ve been told to do if it hurts. The first thing he said was something like, “it shouldn’t be hurting now.” And if that wasn’t comforting enough, he then said to his assistant, “Have you ever…?” He explained that if it didn’t hurt before it shouldn’t be hurting at this point. Then he gave me another shot.

As I was waiting for the sixth shot to kick in, I started thinking about my wife’s grandfather who – through stories – apparently cut off part of his toe because of a persistent blister that was bothering him. I’ve heard the story several times and I’ve always been impressed with the level of pain tolerance, but sitting in that chair, for the first time I began to wonder why he didn’t just get a different pair of shoes. It was this story though that helped me through the pain that would come.

Yes, the pain continued. After the amount of time, dear old dentist, with drill in hand, had at it. This time the pain was pretty intense but I was determined to man up and get through it. Plus, I didn’t want the giant needle in my mouth anymore. When after about thirty seconds of drilling, the pain level shot up and I involuntarily reacted, the dentist jerked away from my mouth and said something I hope to never hear again, let alone from a dentist: “You’re scaring me.”

You’re scaring me, doctor. I pushed through until the drilling was done. And then it was time for the fillings, which involved giant metal spacers and picks that stick between your teeth. All in all, it was awful. And while I hate flossing and have trouble doing it, I will be flossing from here on out, if it means that I will never experience that again.

IHD! by johntduffy
design your own t-shirt at zazzle

Something to Look Forward To...

I just bought some new underwear the other day. I sprung for the middle tier price. It was worth every penny. I think that underwear shopping should be a regular event, much like checking your smoke detectors and visiting the dentist.

So I’m marking my calendar: I bought them on Sunday, September 13. Six months would be March 13, 2010. Now that is something to look forward to.

So I Married a Vegetarian

Tiff’s gone all vegetarian on me. I have not. I have a movie to thank, Fast Food Nation. I’ve read the book, which was disgusting, but in the movie, which I haven’t seen, they show the process. It sounds even more disgusting and would likely lead even me to go vegetarian. Tiff’s talked about going vegan, but I think she feels like that’s more about reading labels than eating food, so that hasn’t happened… yet. Plus, to have to go through life without cheese would just be a shame.

It happened on my birthday, so she’s been going for four months strong now. It’s not exactly what I wanted for my birthday, but it hasn’t been nearly as bad as I would have thought. Our meals haven’t changed too terribly much, and we are eating a lot of pasta and Mexican-type food. When we go out to eat I still get meat, so we have been going to Chipotle and Red Robin a lot more. Red Robin has great hamburgers, and according to Tiff even better veggie-burgers. We still go to Five Guys too, and she’s got me eating the veggie sandwich, which is just their fully loaded burger without the meat. There is no veggie patty and you don’t really miss it.

I do however eat quite a bit less meat now. My lunches are now strictly peanut butter and jelly. We don’t eat chicken and sloppy-joe’s and meatloaf of course, but I’m eating a whole lot more hot dogs, for better or for worse. She’s got me thinking about it quite a bit, which is strange. Our milk is now organic, which is better for us too because we never drank a lot of it and the organic stuff is good for like a month before it spoils. Our eggs are from a local place too, on the way to my in-laws. Last time I drove out there, I had to slow down because the chickens were walking across the road - I’m not sure why.

Anyways, all this is old news and has become part of our lives, but I mention it now for this. I went vegetarian once. I sacrificed meat for a whole month, it wasn’t too bad and it made for some fun times. I’ve started up the Sacrifices again… starting with video games. It’s not too terribly exciting, but I’m doing it and you’re going to hear about it, so check it out!

In Training...

The Krispy Kreme Challenge is only a few short months away!

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor
stalks his prey in the night
And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger!

Taking the Challenge

I’m in training… well, maybe I’ll start tomorrow.

I’ve wanted to get in shape and maybe a drop a few pounds for quite some time. I don’t think I’m crazy out of shape, and I’m not crazy big, but it would be nice to start to feel like I’m healthier. The problem is that I like to eat.

I eat sweets. I eat other stuff, but it’s sweets that get me. I don’t think I’d have much trouble not eating squash or not eating cabbage, but the thought of not eating sweets is awful… and I should know! I’ve tried it before! And look where that got me – sure I may have felt better, but it left me with nothing to say – nothing to say to you, the world!

I think I’ve found a solution to all my problems. It is something that combines what I want from myself and what I want for myself; it gets me in shape and lets me eat cake. Well… maybe not cake, but the Krispy Kreme Challenge is all about running and eating donuts. I’m seeing two big positives – where could this possibly go wrong?

Okay, so the annual race, in its fourth-year this February, has you run through Raleigh , NC for 2 miles, stop and eat a dozen donuts, and then run back 2 miles to where you started. It is brilliant! I’m so excited!

I do need to seriously start training up for it though if I’m going to be able to do it. So, Today: I’ll try to eat a dozen donuts. Tomorrow: I’ll try to run 4 miles… and if I’m feeling up for it after that, I might try to eat a dozen donuts, too.

US Open Cup

I cheered till the bitter end.

DC United hosted the US Open Cup, but it was the visitors that hoisted the US Open Cup. Congrats to Seattle, who won the game, and has clearly won the hearts of some die-hard fans.

The game Wednesday night was truly great. Despite being outplayed through much of the game, DC lost in dramatic fashion, down a man, with several opportunities to even it up in the final minutes. This video my wife took... I didn't realize she was so short... no wonder she didn't like it as much as me.

As my wife said at the time, “Why can’t the whole game be like this?” The surprisingly large-ish crowd was loud and raucous throughout the game and for me, it was really cool to be a part of it.

Seattle though, a city that’s almost 3000 miles away, had a good size crowd of supporters there themselves, and they got the run of the entire upper-deck. I’ve said it before, it’s pretty damn impressive those fans of theirs.

While there was little to celebrate afterwards, the atmosphere at the game was wonderful and it makes me want to go again and again, even if I have to go alone. I think my wife has reached her fill of soccer for the season, but there’s always next year.

Plus, tomorrow night DC United’s on TV! Hopefully, I can cheer till a better end.

Another Weekend Older

This past weekend we had company in town, which is always fun. We played a few games, we ate a few meals, and we saw a few very young people.

First off, we played a few games, beginning with ping-pong. Here’s a quick video:

We also played a couple of board games, including a game that we just got called Quelf. It may be one of the greatest games ever made. It is like a very random Cranium game for grown-ups… mixed with some rules from drinking games. It is sublime.

I also have to say that we went out to eat twice, both of which were playing sports on their TVs. And that sport… soccer. Off the premium soccer channel, no less. There we were, eating our food, watching Italian soccer like it was baseball or football or something. It was great! I imagine with the start of college football this weekend, that trend will quickly end. It was good while it lasted.

And lastly, on Sunday, we slept in and got a slow start and then drove the hour or so down to my old college campus, Mary Washington College. We walked through the neighborhood a bit and then walked down Campus Walk and checked out all the new improvements they have made over the last seven years... which are quite impressive. We didn't see many people, so when we saw some students, we asked them when classes started and everybody returned to school. The answer surprised us at first: Classes started last week. It's just Sunday... and it's still early. Then I looked at the clock and remembered... 1:30 in the afternoon on a Sunday was early at one time in my life.

Oi... I'm getting old.

House Update

So the home improvements, while never-ending, have slowed considerably, and our house is becoming more and more lived in. I thought this would be a good time to record a second little walk-through... here's the post of the first walk-through from the day of our home inspection.

It turns out I'm a bit long-winded... who knew? It's just that I'm not sure what to say sometimes and I don't want to look stupid or worse - have Tiff roll her eyes at me! I never seem to pass that second test, but I get so off-topic and talk about the unimportant that we broke this up by floor and each one is still like ten minutes long! So... hope you got some time on your hands before you begin this.

Okay, here's the first floor/basement/garage:

Now's a good time to run to the bathroom...

Be sure to check out John Duffy's Encore! featuring artist extraordinaire Tiffany Duffy!

What is up with that chin I've got going on!?! Oi ve... time for a diet! (More on that in future posts.)

All in all, our home is everything we could ask for and more. Well... I could think of a thing or two more but we have to have something to strive for!

Encore! Encore!

Lately, I’ve been making an effort to post semi-regularly… and I hope you’ve been making an effort to read them semi-regularly, while keeping up with my archive of great posts from the past, perusing through my catalog and re-reading your favorites. I have been hearing your silent appreciation and inaudible calls for more for weeks now and am proud to announce my encore presentation, John Duffy’s Encore.

That’s right, from the guy who tried to bring you John Duffy’s Words, John Duffy’s Sacrifices, and still manages to bring you John Duffy’s Places every now and then, comes an all new addition to the World of John Duffy, John Duffy’s Encore! (This is where you, the reader, squeal with delight.)

I know what you are thinking and I can assure you that while, my encore has begun, the main event is far from over. The Muted Guerrilla is healthy as ever and will continue its great tradition of being great. With John Duffy’s Encore, my wife and I will be trying to highlight cover songs - good, bad and downright odd - and I think that the two of us agree that we spent far too long finding a suitable name for it.

My wife wanted something that was kind of catchy, but her main requirement was something not cheesy. I didn’t realize how hard that would be for me. First off, I wanted it to begin “John Duffy’s…” which Tiff wasn’t too excited about, as she will be just as much a contributor as me. However, I see it as just sticking to an already laid out theme – that of my own greatness. It looks like I won that one.

John Duffy’s what though? For a long time, it just sat blank as we bounced a few ideas back and forth. Then I was sure I had it, John Duffy’s Cover Discovery. I think it’s beautiful, but admittedly, there is that extra syllable and Tiff wasn’t too psyched about using the word “cover” in the title. I didn’t fight this as my “John Duffy’s” opener was still on shaky ground. I quickly changed focus and my mind bounced from Cover Discovery to Cover-alls to what I still think is a brilliant name, John Duffy’s Poncho.

John Duffy’s Poncho. I love it! I need to get into merchandising.

While I was envisioning crowded streets on a rainy day with everyone wearing rain jackets stamped with www.JohnDuffy’sPoncho.com, my wife was busy thinking. In a moment of brilliance, she spouted off possible tag-lines, “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” seemed the obvious favorite, but then she twisted it around to “The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions,” which seems to suit the direction we were heading with the blog. It wasn’t long before Encore was suggested, and we knew we had a winner.

The possibilities seem endless, so be sure to check out John Duffy's Encore now. With the way I keep up with these things, who knows how long it might be around! Don't miss out!

Expect the Unexpected

These thinking errors are contagious! Now that I’ve diagnosed DC United Ad Campaign, I’ve been pointing out flaws left and right.

This summer, after three seasons of mild interest, I’m excited about the fishbowl of flaws that is Big Brother, which I believe is the original reality game show. My wife's been into it for a few seasons now, and I've always rolled my eyes about it and haven't hesitated to tell her what I think of it. This year, however, I have seen the light and am now a true fan.

It even took some time this season, but I willingly admit that I am now addicted. When a show has three crucial shows a week, you almost have to be addicted to watch it. When you find yourself scouring the internet for more info, you must be addicted. And if you're taping Showtime's Big Brother After Dark each night so that the next day you can watch up to three hours of people living in a house, you must be my wife. (That last one works out well for me though.)

I used to think that I didn’t like the show because it feeds on discord and thinking errors. The more arguments and fights that it has the better, and there’s something about me that doesn’t do well seeing angry people. I get worked up. My muscles get tense. I get angry and I find myself always aligning with one side and having a never-ending inner monologue of retorts and rebuttals defending someone that I typically don't really like.

But that's part of the reason why I think this season is different. While of course there are definitely still the trouble-makers - Chima's Uniqueness thinking error for Giving Up at the First Sign of Failure and for Expecting More Out of Others than From Self got her kicked out of the game by the producers! - there are actually people that I like in the game. There are people I'm rooting for and would like to see win the whole kit and caboodle and who I'm hoping don't make any silly mistakes. Tonight's episode should reveal a lot about where the game is headed.

Anyways, Big Brother's tag line is Expect the Unexpected, and while it has been very unexpected that I've gotten so wrapped up in the show, I guess I expected to get all into some random show. Now, as far as me making fun of my wife for liking such rubbish, maybe I should point the thinking error finger at myself.

OMG! IHD!

I hate the dentist. I went yesterday for the first time in 18 months, and I’ve decided that I truly hate the dentist.

I remember as a kid being excited about the dentist. I always got to leave school early. I hardly ever had cavities. The people were always so nice and friendly. And, I always got a new toothbrush. It was great. I think everywhere you go should have some sort of small parting gift. (I’ll have to figure out what I can give folks when they come visit me. “Don’t want you to leave empty handed!” I would say.)

What I do not remember, even in the slightest, is the pain. I get that they are using sharp tools and that they have to scrape right up to the gums, but golly, I walked out of there with the taste of blood still in my mouth. The pain was not just physical either. They hurt my pride. And that’s a wound that will take a lot more time to heal.

You see, after they got me good and bloody, they started poking at my teeth and calling out things like “DO on 32,” “MO on 13… and 7,” and “Wrought-iron fence on 24.” I could be wrong on the lingo – I hope – but when it was all said and done I have eight cavities! Eight! I had nine cavities last time I went to the dentist, and that was after not going for something-like 6 years! Eight cavities!

I think the good dentist saw the heart-broken surprise in my eyes and quickly said, “You just need to floss.” She went on to explain that I have four cavities that are affecting eight teeth. Four cavities are still way too much. I was expecting a clean bill of health! ... and a toothbrush.

It all makes me hate the dentist. In fact, I feel the need to protest publicly. Maybe next time I go to the dentist, I'll wear a shirt that says, "I DON'T FLOSS!" and "I hate the dentist." That'll show them.

IHD by johntduffy

We Win Trophies

As I’ve said before I’ve become a strong supporter of DC United. They are one of the most successful teams in American soccer, and Wednesday, September 3, they take on newcomers, the Seattle Sounders, in the US Open Cup Championship here in Washington . I plan on being there. I’m already very excited!

My excitement is triply doubled for reasons best explained by the website, We Win Trophies. As the link explains, Seattle complained that they should be able to host as they will be able to sell out the mid-week game, which is not only true, but pretty damn impressive. Last year, DC hosted the game to a crowd of barely 8,000 fans – albeit die-hard fans. Seattle went on to say how their fans were best in the league and yadda-yadda-yadda. Well, that’s just a smack in the face to this not-yet-die-hard fan.

So the team is making a strong effort to draw in people to the game with this elusive We Win Trophies campaign. The story goes that the ads started out on the metro as signs that just read “09-02-09 We Win Trophies.” Then they got this weird sticker ad on the front page of a local paper, not The Post, that said the same thing on the front, but then you peeled it off and the back had info about the game. Now, it’s pretty well advertised all over.

As much as I love that they can say “We Win Trophies,” I’m worried about what it implies. The Washington Nationals are currently last place in baseball, the Redskins are perpetual under-achievers, the Capitals are really good but can’t, well, win a trophy, and the Wizards… basketball’s so far off my radar that I’m not sure what to say. DC United has definitely been the most consistent championship team, but it is need of more fans and I’m just not sure that it’s smart to lift yourself up by putting the others down.

When I worked as a counselor, we would call that a thinking error – Views Self as a Good Person. (That wasn't what we called it, but it's the same list, same author and I can't remember what we called it.)

Regardless, I’ll be there; I encourage anyone and everyone to come. It should be a great game and I’d love to see the seats full.

Plus, at the end of the game, there’s not just a winner, there’s a champion, trophy and all. How many games that you’ve been to can you say that? Go United!

Pass the Pigs

A few weeks ago, I went up to Philadelphia to see a friend and catch a baseball game. Unfortunately, this year we did not catch a foul ball. But I did catch-on to a cool new game, Pass the Pigs.
I never knew two little pigs could be so intimidating! But once you start the game, your hopes and dreams can build and fall faster than a crazy night around a craps table. And these two pigs are at the center of it all. You throw them up and let them land and the "swineherder" calls out the score, but you have to know the Pass the Pigs lingo, which can be kind of tricky. Here's me doing my best doubling as the swineherder and the play-by-play commentator.

That wasn't even half the scoring too!! As you can tell "pig outs" are bad, but not as bad as if you rolled this:
The dreaded piggy-back. I've never seen it, but I can only imagine. Not only do you lose all your points for the round, you lose the game out-right. It would be awful. Of course, I guess if I saw someone else roll it, I might just go ... hog... wild.(?)

Christian the Lion

If you're anything like me, you saw this video awhile ago when it was an internet sensation:
It really is a pretty cool video.

Today, I was flipping through channels when I stumbled upon a documentary about that video on Animal Planet. While it doesn't make me want to go out and get a lion, it definitely makes me want to live in the 60's... those were groovy times. They kept playing the big finale throughout the hour long show, and it never got old. It's just an oddly amazing story.

I like to think I have a similar bond with my feline friend (you'll have to sing your own Whitney Houston):

Well, you know what they say, separation makes the heart grow fonder. I hope that would be the case.

Another Day at Lunch

Now that I’ve mentioned my lunch break, I feel oddly exposed and I feel like I should say more and more about it until it has become... well, over-exposed. Maybe I should rename my blog, Lunchtime with John Duffy. It sounds like the title of really good Saturday afternoon PBS programming! “I’m your host John Duffy. Let’s cook something good today.”

Anyways, today I took a camera with me to add pictures of this place that I’ve been talking about. Today was pretty comfortable weather-wise as there was no summer sun, but that might be a bad thing as far as pictures go. There were also no birds… I’m not sure where they went. Here it is from where I sit:

And if I turn and look right:
I took this picture because there are probably about two weeks worth of apple cores behind that post and that damn water bottle is still standing there, unfazed and mocking me.

I think I would like having a camera with me at all times for any blog-worthy thing I run across. I would call it my BlogCam and if I got one, I could say that I’ve entered my BlogCamEra. It would take some getting used to though, the whole photojournalism thing.

For instance, instead of last week’s heroics of me saving a boat, today -drumroll please- I saved a life. Let's start with the fisherman who was "just trying to catch one damn bass" before he had to go to work. I know this because he told me so as he walked from the dock on my left, as seen above, to the dock on my right:

A few minutes later, there was a loud splash off to my left and there on the dock is a fish flapping around. I watched him for a minute or two... I was surprised how long he fought it, flopping around like fish out of water... oh wait... and then there was just still. I didn't want him to start smelling, so I went up to push him in the water. He was clearly still alive, and with a kick, I watched him swim away.

It was only after the fact that I remembered the camera sitting with my lunch. Yeah, I definitely still have a thing or two to learn about photojournalism. Next I'll try to figure out over-exposure.

A Little Boat

Last week, I saved a boat during lunch.
It was a pretty pathetic boat though. It didn’t fit in with the other aluminum boats with their shiny motors and fancy green paint that surrounded it. It was just a small rowboat; it reminded me of the boat I used to row around a small cove in Maine , except this one didn’t have any oarlocks. Or oars. And it wasn’t painted. And its plywood sides were coming apart. And it had about 6 inches of water in the bottom. And there was nowhere to tie it on to anything.

I think maybe it had saved itself, as it was floating unattached in the water wedged between a boat and the pier. I just spotted it and realized it wasn’t attached, so I pushed it around a little with my foot (almost falling in the water in the process) and then decided to go find the elusive marina staff, who took care of the rest.

Today, it sat on the land right in front of me, and I sat and stared at it curiously, as I slowly ate my lunch. Where could this boat have come from? How did it end up here? Who would possibly use this boat? I wondered.

My first thought, admittedly, was images of Cuban refugees trying to survive the 90 miles of open seas that separate them with Florida . Being as I live in Northern Virginia, this is probably not the case – unless people are escaping the horrors of Fairfax County . I’m not ruling it out though. It is conceivable that the Cubans got swept off course and this is where they ended up… I mean, it is missing its oarlocks after all.

Then I thought it must be a ghost ship. Not in the sense that it’s captained by the dead who are now roaming the land, but maybe it had sunk somehow and something recently – a rain storm maybe – has unsettled it and it rose from the murky depths. The standing water, the damaged sides… it all adds up.

So my mind moved on and I started wondering if it had a name. All the other boats around there have names like PW13265 or PW13476… boring names, if you ask me. I figure I’m the one that found it so maybe the staff that I talked to would approach me in hopes of naming it after me, the John Duffy. I think I’d have to say no. Even the most pathetic of boats deserves to be named, but I’m holding out for nothing less than a bridge. The John Duffy Bridge . It would be great… although something tells me that perhaps the pathetic little boat would be more fitting.

My Sister, the Artist

So it's been awhile, but I think I've mentioned that my sister Becky is a fabulous artist somewhere in a past post. Recently - errr, six months ago - she changed games in the art business. Rebecca Duffy, artist on the road from show to show, was out and Rebecca Duffy, elite gallery owner, was in. I got to see her gallery, full of art from many, many artists, in June and it is very cool... very perfect for a gallery.

It's in Downtown Wilmington North Carolina, which was pretty cool to begin with but now it's got this must-see gallery in a building called Chandler's Wharf. So the art is cool, the place is cool, the building is cool, the town is cool... I'm not sure why I wouldn't go! Here's a little promotional video they put together:

The River to Sea Gallery, it's the place to see and be seen, and it's currently, the only place where you can get my wife's art, if you don't have the internet, which... I'm guessing... oh dear reader of mine... that you do. Just a guess.

Loose Change

I find myself thinking about the recently de-linked Thoughts from the Change Race quite a bit. I'm always hopeful that I will find a penny or nickel in a parking lot or on a sidewalk somewhere, and when I do, I start to wonder how much money has been found, how much money has been lost, how much money I could find if I walked down more sidewalks, and ultimately, how much I've gotten out of shape and really should be walking more.

What brings it up is something I've noticed from work. As part of my job, I have to go door-to-door through neighborhoods throughout the county, and I've noticed that in the less desirable neighborhoods, there are stray coins in almost every other driveway and littered here and there throughout the street and sidewalk. The nicer neighborhoods, on the other hand, while usually having much more suspicious people, are virtually devoid of having any lost nickels and dimes.

I could probably list several probable reasons for this, but rather than reasons, I like to think of it as symbolic of something or other. Plus, some things have too many reasons for being what they are. I think that when I get around to writing the Great American Novel, I'll have to include this little tidbit some how. Right now, my working title is John Duffy: The Greatest Man Alive. It's a work in progress though.

A Few Changes

I'm making a few changes around here. Slowly but steadily I'm creating the perfect website. One that will no doubt rival Yahoo and Google in one way or another.

A bit off subject, but I always used to look down on people with Hotmail accounts, because Hotmail is kind of goofy, but now they've got Bing.com. Bing.com might be coolest thing to come along in a long time! One day it might rival the likes of The Muted Guerrilla! I was trying to figure out what the pipe banging sound that is behind my toilet when I run the water was, so I typed "pipes tapping behind toilet" into Yahoo and got a whole bunch of nothin', then I tried Google and got diddly-squat, then inspired by clever advertising, I tried Bing.com and Bingo! The first thing on the list told me all about water hammer and what to do to eliminate it.

Anyways, I've made a handful of changes so far with more to come. So far I've changed some of my links. I pulled my stuff and my wife's stuff into separate columns. I've stopped sacrificing collecting words but I've left the links up, with hopes of returning to them.

Thoughts from the Change Race has sadly come to close. After collecting and tallying $288.41 cents of lost change, the poor guy finally realized there's more to life than watching the ground beneath his feet. That was my own little editorial there, but since he's ended his blog, I've ended my link. Also on the chopping block was My Side of the Fence, a blog by a Manassas City Councilman, which I'm not linking to because I never clicked through.

I've also made a Steve Goff's Soccer Insider blog a permanent link on the side for easy access. I expect everyone follow along and become soccer experts. There will be a test. Also new is Joel Achenbach, who among other things writes the Achenblog for the Washington Post which usually is good for a laugh or two. I think I'm just enough of a dork to find him funny; in other words, he's pretty dorky, but that's okay. Those along with my brother-in-law's blog and good-ole Rick Steves, I've now got all I need to make it through the day attached right here to my blog! What could be more perfect!

Next, I think I'll get Tiff to pick out some new colors for me... right after she fixes the water hammering.

More United

It was a beautiful Friday evening in late April. The flowers were blooming. The birds were chirping. And the crowd was going wild.

I've suckered Tiff into going with me to just one DC United game this year, by way of winning a March Madness bet, but it was a great time all around. DC was playing the New England Revolution and it was a much better game than the 1-1 final score depicts. Here's the one video Tiff took during the game. It was in the closing minutes of the game and although they were playing well enough to win, DC was down by one. ... Oh, and Tiff had asked early on to name one person that she could follow during the game to keep it interesting, so I had told her Ben Olsen.

It was great! The game ended soon thereafter in a 1-1 tie, but the whole place was going crazy. I never thought a tie could be so exciting.

In fact, it's not over! Once we got on the Metro to head home, a swarm of veteran fans filed in behind us still in full celebration:

And it didn't stop! Soon there was not just singing but banging on the ceiling in celebration! Which caused a big cloud of I-don't-know what to pour down on us! It was awful! But it didn't stop! As the Metro rumbled on and emptied out, the fight songs may have ended but the singing carried on!

(I'm not sure what is going on at the end of that one... is my wife stalking somebody?) But sure enough... the party didn't end until we left the train and headed home. It was a great night and helped make me a great fan.

I hope to return to the stadium to see another game soon... Wednesday, September 2, one month from today, DC United hosts the US Open Cup Championship against the Seattle Sounders. I hope to see you there!

The Simple Things

Now that I've got a year at this new job of mine under my belt, I think I've had enough time to pinpoint my favorite part about my job. My lunch break. The job's not bad, it's just this is the first job I've had where I get an hour away from everything work-related. It's a pretty good feeling.

Most folks at my office take their breaks and get their lunches and hunker down at the desks and maybe chit-chat or do something important or I don't know what, but they stay at work. Not me, I do whatever I can to spend my break away from anything work related. That's why my lunch break is a good thing. What makes my lunch break even better is this:

Who's that handsome man? The picture is from last fall, and yes, it was casual Friday. About three miles from my office is Lake Ridge Marina, where among other things the local high schools play crew(?), practice crew(?), participate in crew(?)... hmmm. It's where they go to row. And it's exactly right in every way.

At lunch time, there's usually not too many people there. Sure, there are always a few people fishing... although I've never seen anybody catch a fish there... ever. There's usually the one parent with two or three kids disturbing the peace of the geese or creating a duck ruckus. And, rain or shine, warm or cold, there's always the guy with the sporty blue car, throwing a yellow plastic toy into the lake for his big brown dog to go fetch it. But all in all, it's just quiet and peaceful.

A few days ago, there was a new person in the mix. An artist - easel and all - had set up shop right where I usually sit. At first, I was a bit annoyed as I had to sit a little farther away than normal, but now I think it's kind of cool. I don't know who she was - nor am I all that curious - and the painting may not amount to much, but for me, it shows I'm doing something right. I found a place I like and somebody else liked it too. Yep, it's the simple things in life.

Now, when it rains, I go to Subway. They don't have "employees," they have "sandwich-artists." Ah, the simple things... the simple things.

Go United!

I'm hooliganizing.

It's been and slow and steady process of rising interest, but this year I've finally blossomed into the full-fledged passionate soccer fan I was bound to become. DC United is my team of choice, but lately it hasn't mattered much who is playing, it's just exciting to get to see the game. This summer, between the Confederation Cup, the Gold Cup, and the World Football Classic - or something like that - there's been plenty to watch and plenty to get excited about.

I blame my liking for the game on three things. First off, Steve Goff. The Washington Post's Soccer Insider keeps me up to date on the latest from all over, and he does so two or three times a day. It's great. If only I had something to write about two or three times a day. Anyways, I really don't think it would be the same without him.

The second reason, and arguably the biggest, is video games. I gave up on the University of Duffy and my $3 NCAA Football '05 about a year ago and took up FIFA '08, where I've lead Leeds United to glory and fame. My team is great and a few weeks ago I bought a kid name Danny Szetela, last week the real life Danny Szetela joined DC United! Oh, how I love it!

And the biggest reason in my opinion, it's what I played, and loved, as a kid. Sure, I played out dreams of hitting the buzzer-beating three-pointer or making the impossible catch to win the game, but my numero uno dream was to grow up and play for Team USA in the World Cup...

I can picture it now... (cue the non-descript European accent)

It has been an improbable run through the early stages of the World Cup this go around. The Americans have been the talk of the tournament as they have surprised everyone with their play. The team has been out-matched by every opponent they have faced, but have found a way to survive. And it's one man that all these teams have fallen victim to, one man that has carried this team on his back, one man that has the world fearing the USA soccer...

That one man would be me. John Duffy. It's kind of crazy but this summer, I think a handful of Americans are actually living that. It's so exciting for them. World Cup 2010 is going to be great. By then, maybe I'll have grown from soccer-fan to outright hooligan, but we'll have to wait and see. Until then, Go United!

Home Alone

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

That's my Home Alone scream... you'll have to use your imagination.

It's true. I'm home alone... and trying to keep from getting lonely. Tiff's busy watching a house with many pets, which leaves me busy watching a house with one, our cat. I often think of my cat as more of a dog and not just because she plays fetch, but she'll follow you around like a dog would. And she always greets me when I come home, which is nice. All pets should do this; it's great to come home to someone who's excited to see you.

Unfortunately, the It's-Great-to-Have-Home Welcoming Party, which makes my cat above average, lasts a bit too long. After I come home and get settled, maybe watch some television, read the mail, call my wife, and start to cook dinner - mmm... hotdogs - it seems like the focus of the Welcome Home Celebration has perhaps switched. The center of attention is no longer me but it... said cat. Which makes me wonder if it was ever really about me at all.

Whatever, I think there's a lesson to be learned from it. It's great to be happy and excited and grateful and even loving, but there is a point where it gets to be too much. It's important to practice moderation.

So far in my home alone-ness, I've been trying to keep busy, at which I've been - wait for it - moderately successful. This evening I believe I've broken up my To-Do List fairly well into two categories. There's the Probably List, full of all those things that if I had to guess will probably be done at some point this week. I'll probably get around to doing the dishes. ...maybe tomorrow, who knows? Then there's the Probably Not list. It would be great if I cleaned out the garage to the point where I could park my car in it, but realistically will that happen? Probably not, but hey, ...who knows?

I feel as though this is a good first step. It's an acknowledgement that there are only so many hours in a day and I am only human. Plus, it ain't easy being Home Alone. I mean, I've already lost my voice from all the screaming...

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Running the Deserted Night

So it's 12:30 in the morning and I can't sleep...

I don't think any blog post anywhere has ever recovered from an opening line like that, but here we are. It's been awhile since I couldn't fall asleep, but somewhere between lights out and now, I started thinking about my old job working with juvenile delinquents. I use to replay incidents and scenarios in my head all the time and rework my response until I figured out how best to respond. It's probably a similar process to little kids when they're first starting to talk, talking in their cribs or beds or whatever, trying to sound out words and phrases. That's what I feel like at least... Except I'm usually yelling in my mind for them to shut up. In my mind they usually do! But, there's nothing like yelling at kids to get your blood pumping.

I guess the point is, Counseling did not exactly come naturally to me, so it's probably best that I've switched jobs entirely.

Anyways, I also wanted to comment on a movie I just saw... another auspicious start to blog posts. While I'm eager to see the new Harry Potter - my wife and I have been rereading the book aloud this past week - I just saw a movie that was surprisingly cool and wonderful and all around just a great movie, Running the Sahara. It's this documentary about these three endurance runners who set off to run the entire length of the Sahara desert, some 4300 miles of barren sand dunes, and what they encounter along the way. They did it with no days off for well over three months.

It really is quite spectacular to watch somebody accomplish such a huge undertaking. It makes me wonder what I'm up to with my life... if such a feat is in my cards. (As always, I like to bring the focus back to me.) The landscape was also both devastatingly harsh and insanely beautiful, so I've added to my list of places a place that I thought I would never have wanted to see. The desert would be amazing, especially the Tenere Desert, but how cool would it be to see one of these.

Money Can't Buy Happiness

I still haven't won the lottery. Not yet anyways. I stopped playing it all together for awhile. I said I was going to take a year off from playing, and maybe then I'll start back up. Yeah... that was about two months ago. My numbers didn't hit last night. Maybe next time.

I often envision what I would do if I won a huge jackpot. My daydreams don't get much further than the first day or two. First off, I have hard time guessing what my initial reaction would be. I can't picture myself as someone who would hoot and holler and scream to the world, I won!! I don't think I'd jump up and down like I just spun a $1.00 in the Showcase Showdown on the Price Is Right. It bothers me a little that I might not be that excitable. I'll probably never have to worry about it though.

One of the things that I keep coming back to is that I would want to leave work without anything on my desk. I'd like to stay for a couple of days to make sure I didn't leave any work for anybody else. I doubt that would actually happen, but it's a nice thought and I think it portrays me positively... which is important.

I've told myself that the first thing I'll do when I win the lottery is get a massage, but I've recently had the realization that I probably could have paid for a massage or two with all the money I've put into the lottery - all my $1 contributions to the fortune gods who keep me daydreaming and wondering what-if. While the one massage I've had, which was on my honeymoon in Jamaica, was absolutely amazing, I'm not sure one massage a year could replace the weekly 5 minutes of anticipation and excitement as well as the constant daydreaming that comes with the chance of winning millions upon millions of dollars.

After the first couple of days though, I imagine I'd get really bored.

Time Flies

Today my new car rolled over 15,000 miles, which means I drive about 15,000 miles a year... give or take 221 miles or so. That's right, my brand new car is a year old and sadly, it's lost that new car smell. Similarly, tomorrow will mark my one year anniversary at my job, but sadly, I still have that new guy smell.

While I admit that I have a growing fear that I'll show up at work in the morning to a little formal pink slip and the line, "this past year hasn't quite worked out," I think I'm good to go for at least another year because if this past year has taught me nothing else, it's that time flies.

I mean, I've already lived in my new house for four and a half months already!! And I still haven't gotten around to finishing up the bathroom. That's for another day though, because we love our home.

The neighborhood's a different story. It would be the perfect place for us if we had an 8 year old boy, but as it is I find myself becoming something of a grump. The kids are probably great, as our the non-kids, we just haven't found the right clique or social-code or whatever. Right now though, I'm just resisting the temptation to go out and pick up the basketball by my front door and yell out, "You see this basketball? It's mine now!" to nobody in particular. Then take it inside muttering, "That oughtta learn 'em."

I know I shouldn't though. Tomorrow's another day.

My Youtube Friend

Yesterday, I couldn't find anything interesting on the web, so I started reading through my old blog, which I'm sure is the only reason why you're here... boredom. I'll admit, I'm a little bummed with how it has trailed off so, and I even had the thought that maybe I should write something else. But I couldn't think of anything, until...

This morning I woke up and sleepy-headed and bad-breathed checked my email. I got four emails all from Youtube. I get emails from them every now and then, usually comments on my Coin Pusher video - now that was Good Clean Fun. Today though, not only did I get two comments for my Coin Pusher, I got my first (of many) subscriber and my first (and probably only) friend request. Here's his latest video:

Enterprising lad. He's hawking arcade coins... for $10 a pop. Now that's a true coin pusher.

Anyways, I thought I'd attach a video of myself as that last video wasn't about me at all. It was filmed in the last days of our old apartment, and it's officially the first in a series but so far it's one-of-a-kind. I guess this is like its pilot episode and I'm waiting to see if it will get picked up for a few more episodes.

I don't know about you but I think it's brilliant. (Thanks to Tiff the Editor by the way.)

House Inspection

I just spent way too long trying to figure out block quotes... and I still didn't get it right.

Anyways, today we had our home inspection for our new home. We got there a few minutes early so we took a couple of videos of the place.


This was the first time we had been in the house since we first saw and it looks like a bit more work than what we remembered but it still looks great. We must have had been a bit love-drunk the first time we saw it, especially after seeing all the other junk that's out there right now.

The inspection itself had a few minor hiccups... mainly that the water wasn't on and therefore we couldn't get the plumbing part checked out. It turns out that the plumbing wasn't on because the furnace wasn't working and the temperature today was a high of 20. One of the pipes it seems is full of rock solid ice too. Yay.

All in all it went pretty okay... here's an on the spot recap.

So with luck, we can move in as planned around Feb. 20th. Our current lease is up on Feb. 28th so the process needs to go through pretty smoothly or else there will be some extra decisions to be made.

As you may have guessed, we're pretty excited about our first home, so we've put on our full marketing blitz about it with Tiff writing something similar, along with posting more pictures at the Duffy Photos! site.

The Quote Tells the Story

As part of my job, we check the local papers for house fires. I ran
across this one.

Staff Published: January 14, 2009
Firefighters rescued a woman and a cat from a burning town house off Sudley Manor Drive near Manassas on Tuesday.

The fire erupted about 10 a.m. at 7570 Helmsdale Road.

Arturo Soriano, Jr., of Alexandria was on the scene and witnessed the cat’s
rescue.

“That was the biggest cat I’ve ever seen,” said Soriano who owns a fire
restoration company based in Alexandria and Burke.

The woman was taken to an area hospital. Officials at the scene said
the fire was contained to a single town house.

The cause of the fire has not yet been determined.

Unfortunately, there were no pictures with it.

Oh what a year!

Good-bye 2008!

I'm going to miss this year. While the economy died and my job was and to a certain degree still is in jeopardy and it seems everything's going to hell in the world, things for me have never been better.

While yes the first half of the year I was stuck in a dead-end job with no light at the end of the tunnel... and not much light at all working nights and sleeping days. And while yes I waged an ugly war against pesky little hives that left me often in a miserable daze and kind of crazy most days.

But with the bad comes the good... I did get a new and better job. I did buy a new and better car. And today, the last day of the year, I learned that I will have a new and better place to live.

That's right, it's official, I'm buying a home. After months of searching and sifting through garbage and junk, we found a gem of a place and went for it... and we got it!

This leads us to our next big decision... what's the best way to remove wallpaper?
(Now would be a really good time to check out the all new Duffy's Photos link on the side.)

Hopefully, 2009 will be equally great, but without all the hives.

Christmas with Paul

Christmas is quickly over. It's crazy how fast it happens. I've actually been meaning to write this since Sunday - and probably could have written it Friday night - but it amazes me how long Christmas is built up as it's been extended through Thanksgiving and is quickly encroaching upon Halloween season. Then in one day, it's over. No more Christmas movies, no more Christmas music, no more Christmas spirit.

In fact, I'm guessing you don't want to hear any more about Christmas. So I'm going to use this time to mention some sort of new feature on Shutterfly that makes it easy to share pictures. So for all my stalkers, here's all the pictures of me that are fit to print. It's also over on my links list for easy access. You can also follow the Duffy House Hunt here as it - fingers-crossed - nears its end.

And because I've put on a few music in videos lately, here's another. It's an older song, but it's just great. Like today I had a downer of a morning, and at lunch I listened to this song and it changed my whole day around. I never would have guessed that I'm a McCartney fan, but...

Yeah, it's totally cheesy, but it's the right mix of singability and car dance-ability.

Cookie Christmas

Merry Christmas everybody!

I hope everyone had as great a Christmas as I did. I got lots of cool stuff, including an iPod!, and I had an awesome time all day long. One of the cooler gifts was from my parents. (Thanks Mom and Dad!) It was also the heaviest by a mile, so we opened it on Christmas Eve so that we didn't have to drive it out to Tiff's family just to open it and haul it back.

This is what we got:

A mixer!

Now I know what you're thinking... John bakes?... I would never have guessed. Well, sometimes I surprise myself. Usually not though, but this is a great present for me as Tiff makes the best cookies ever. So for Tiff, it's a great gift, but for me, it's the gift that keeps on giving all year round. Tiff made some chocolate chip cookies right away though.

Oh my god! they look so good. I swear that's the actual picture and I didn't just pull a picture off of Wikipedia or Flickr or somewhere. And added bonus, because the mixer works so fast, she went ahead and baked a few other kinds. That's a chocolate cookie with peanut butter chips... oh man, they're so good. And that one in the back is a soft, moist molasses cookie... it's the best of its kind I've ever had. If Tiff were to open up a cookie shop, first off it would be incredibly successful, secondly they could call these cookies Manassas Molasses cookies. They'd become world-famous and people would flock to her little Shoppe and riots would break-out everyday as people waited in line for hours each day before it opened. Lastly, I would gain like 400 pounds. Here's another picture of them alongside tasty almond, white chocolate cookies.

Oh man! Anyways, we took all these cookies to a big family Christmas party:

Where Tiff was trying to pawn them off to everybody, but there weren't many takers as there are a lot of cooks in Tiff's family. Then Tiff's Grandmother tried one and quickly announced that she take a bunch home and offer them instead of the ones that she baked. Next year, Tiff's in charge of all the cookies.

Christmas Carols

It's finally beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Unfortunately, it's been sounding a lot like Christmas for about two months now.

There's probably a radio station in every city that plays Christmas music 24 hours a day this time of year. Where I am, it's "97.1, WASH-FM"... that has to be sung. At night the DJ is "Delilah"... which also has to be sung. She takes requests from people who have awful stories about how that certain song reminds them about that special someone whose no longer in their life after they had an affair with their cousin... or some equally awful story.

WASH-FM also is the "Listen At Work Station" so I've been overhearing Christmas music at work from the neighboring cubicle since I believe Nov. 17. One particularly painful day was the 25th of July when WASH-FM celebrated Christmas in July.

Anyways, when I leave work, I know I can't escape it. As much as Tiff loves hair bands and guitars, I don't think they hold a candle to Christmas music. So, there's been Christmas music playing at home off and on for, no joke, about 9 months give or take. I've been looking in vain for a Christmas Album by Slash or AC/DC this year as I'm pretty sure that would be the ultimate gift.

I complain, but I do secretly enjoy the music. The great part about Christmas music is that there's a set amount of songs, and you know all the songs. So while Otis Redding may sing it different than Frank Sinatra, you can still sing along. It seems like it's how music should be. Plus, when else can you here Elvis sing and then immediately after hear some good ole fashion choir music.

The best song for me is this one byRay Charles... he's the best.

I tried to find it without the cheesy holiday montage, but I think it might add to the spirit of Christmas.

The Need for Speed

So for my first post: My new car is full of a lot of really cool features. Who new how much I would love the CD player! - My car also has an MP3 player hook-up, but I'm not that advanced yet.

The spedometer is digital which I love because it tells me exactly how fast I'm going. I also love the cruise control. I use it all the time... literally, all the time. I could be going just 100 yards to the next stop light and I'll get it up to like 30 mph and turn it on. Well, to be honest I'd like to use it more than I actually do. You see, it doesn't work under 25 mph, so I've got to use the pedal in my apartment complex. It sucks.

The best feature though is the Need-For-Speed button. So I'm not a fast driver - I'll go about 60 on my way to work. My favorite speed is 63 miles per hour. It's the perfect blend between 5 miles and 10 miles over the speed limit on my way to work. Plus, if I don't feel like that's fast enough, with the touch of a button, I'm suddenly cruising at 100.

Mph, Km/h... what's the difference?

Getting Started... Again

That's a scary title. It forces me to do a bunch of posts in the near future, which is a big commitment for me. We'll see if I hold up to it or not.

I've missed out on some very important times with the election and the economy, and the world changing and all, but that stuff has always been for another blog. For me though, I've started the house hunt, my hives are slowly going away and I had an anniversary, all of which would make good fotter for my thoughts. Plus, my new job includes driving time which for me is good thinking time. My job however involves a lot to do and I can't spend a considerable amount of time at work writing out my posts like I use to do, so my actual postings have all but stopped.

Let's see if we can't turn that around.

Ray LaMontagne

New Ray LaMontagne album comes out Oct 14th!

I love this guy. The last time I bought an album the first day it was out was about two years ago with his last CD. With this album, he has a high potential of replacing Josh Rouse as my favorite band. He's incredibly incredible.

It's almost as exciting as the release of Smallville Season 7 this Tuesday. Tiff and I haven't seen any of it yet. It should be good. We have ten days to watch it all so that we can finally watch them on TV for its eighth and final season. That's sad to think about... hopefully Ray Lamontagne won't stop making music anytime soon.

Fruit Flies Gone Mad

So when we went out of town, we left three older bananas on the counter. Three days later, they were everywhere.

Just to note: fly swatters with holes in them are not very effective at getting fruit flies. Magazines are the way to go.

The King of Burgers

We just got back from a weekend in North Carolina. It took us about six hours, which was a pretty fun drive in my new car. It was also long enough to stop for food. As we left, Tiff grabbed some Burger King coupons, the kind that come in the mail every week or so. Anyways, about halfway down we started to look for a Burger King. Surprise, surprise, it wasn't very hard to find.


Now, I haven't eaten at a Burger King in a long time - a couple years at least - and the best reason I can come up with is this guy:The Burger King. I don't understand the Burger King. Why does it have to be a mascot? It's scary looking! It seems like it would frighten more people away than draw them in. I'm pretty sure the Burger King's smile is just hiding some deep repressed secret.

And then there's the most recent ads for their new chicken sandwich:

It's disturbing on so many levels. The cow, the motel, the chicken sandwich, the guy... it is just wrong.

So as we turned towards Burger King with a similar conversation going on, the Hardee's next door became more and more appealing, even without coupons. It was my first time at a Hardee's, home of the 1410 calorie, 107 grams of fat Monster ThickBurger, and it was really good. I had a regular cheeseburger, by the way. I think maybe that deep dark secret of the Burger King might be "I love a nice juicy Hardee's hamburger. Mmmm." (For some reason, the silent Burger King has a Bill Clinton accent in my head.)