My Favorites: Day 6

My Favorite Unbelievable Thing that I Have Done

This one took some time for me to think about. A few self-aggrandizing examples came to mind immediately, but it’s not the right day of the week to inflate my ego so I was left stuck. In fact, I’m writing this a day late in part because I had no clue what would fit as an example; there was also this little football game on too.

I searched the depths of my memory, even recalling some of the horrors that were high school, determined to find an appropriate story to “WOW” you the readers and further perpetuate the façade that I lead an interesting life. While I spent all that time dusting out the catacombs of my mind, I failed to notice what was happening in the here-and-now of the day. Yep, (one of) my favorite unbelievable things that I have done happened this very day.

It all started with a bang around 8 o’clock on Wednesday, January 26th… eleven days ago. It was more of a loud snap actually, as we lost a couple large branches off of the only tree in our front yard. A very heavy snow was falling and quickly piling up. I went outside with a long stick and whacked as much snow off the tree as I could, all the while my lovely wife calling out the window that I “look ridiculous.” The tree being sufficiently whacked, I went back inside.

The gory remains of the heavy snow that hang out of reach.

Thirty minutes later, I realized I had lost my wedding ring.

I wasn’t sure at what point in the day it was lost. I immediately started retracing my steps, but with the snow continuing to fall, there wasn’t much hope. It wasn’t until Friday that I could truly retrace my steps… work, gas station, a lake whose parking lot was still covered in white. It was nowhere to be found. Desperation was settling in as I worried my naked finger with my thumb.

The only hope I had was that it would reveal itself when the snow melted, which brings us eleven days (a week-and-a-half!) forward to Super Bowl Sunday. The story of my lost ring had turned into an increasingly sad tale that was still fun to tell because, like all good stories, there was that one-in-a-million chance of a happy-ending, however fleeting that may be. I told it to a friend who was visiting and soon found myself outside in 45 degree weather shoveling through melting snow. My method was to spread a shovel-full onto the driveway and sift through it. I think a metal pan would have been more successful and after twenty minutes I gave up, deciding for myself that I “look ridiculous.”

As our guest was leaving, my wife and I saw her to the door and said our goodbyes. Five seconds later, we heard her shout, “Found It!” It had been hiding just off the driveway, right by my sifted and melted snow.

At that moment, our guest felt less like a friend and more like a hero. Then she got in her jeep and drove off into the sunset.

Okay, so I didn't do it, but I do have an unbelievable lost wedding ring story that involves nobody but me and 7-11.  That's for another day.

My Favorites: Day 5

My Favorite Tie

Aargh... that's an unfortunate screen grab-picture-thing.

My Favorite: Day 4

My Favorite Topic of Conversation

Ummm. Myself. Duh. That was an easy question.

Other topics in the running are soccer, DC United, DC United’s need for a new stadium, and what that stadium should look like. I’m hoping there’s a moat… with a drawbridge… that I get to crank up and down.

Today, however, I was forced into a conversation about none of these things and it was still an enjoyable conversation. 

My Favorites: Day 3

My Favorite Pair of Shoes

Here we go, this is a topic that I like… I tend to get an attachment to my shoes that I can feel deep down in my sole!

I’m actually not much of a shoe guy, but after my last shoe shopping experience I can see the appeal. Every shoe is different and every style can change your whole outlook on life. It’s very strange actually. In fact, it was shortly after buying a new pair of shoes that I embarked on my month-long tie campaign, which I’m still getting comments about.

My current shoes are the hallmark of what makes a good shoe. They are comfortable, stylish, professional, studious, industrious… let’s see… they lace up real nice. They don’t smell too bad yet. I have found that they scuff pretty easily, but I probably should have addressed my car exit strategy anyhow. All in all, I am quite pleased with these shoes.

To be fair, they are replacing a pretty amazing pair of shoes. I think it could be said that these shoes have pretty big shoes to fill. My last pair of shoes I wore for three and a half years, through good times and better times. Milestone after milestone. If you were to look at any picture of me from my adult life, there is a good chance that I would be wearing those brown leather shoes; admittedly there’s a better chance I’d be wearing my blue Island Technology shirt…


My blue shirt is perfect for the beach, and the mall, and the grocery, and the zoo, and any family event, and...



…of which I own two.

If I think about my old shoes, most of them stick out for being very uncool. Example A: black sneakers with bright green shoe laces. I’m not sure why I ever thought that was a good idea. I mean they were a neon green, similar to the color of ectoplasm. I did have some winners though. The glow-in-the-dark zebra stripe Converse All-Stars is the only one that comes to mind.

Growing up, though, I hated getting new shoes mainly because I didn’t want to have to break them in, a process that really only takes a couple of days. Maybe it could be said that my favorite shoes have always been the shoes that are on my feet at the time. Isn’t that the way it should be for everything though?

My Favorites: Day 2

My Favorite Bedtime Story or Fairy Tale

Who’s coming up with these topics? This is a topic that I have never put much thought into, but when I was little guy, I did listen to a record player going to bed every night, so I usually fell asleep to some sort of bedtime story. I feel compelled to say that, as the youngest of five, the World’s Worst Wisher and Josephine (...the grass is green) were both pretty scratched up by the time my memory begins. The record of choice for me was … drumroll … the Frog Prince, starring Kermit the Frog. I believe Gonzo was his sidekick. It was awesome.

I even remember part of the song, “They call him Sir Robin the Brave/ And history one day will rave."

The second side was scary and involved those giant monster muppets that are really just big mascot-type suits with scary faces.

He looks a lot like how I picture the Mutant Guerrilla.

 I didn’t listen to that side very often so I actually have no idea how it ends. I’m guessing a burly woodsman with an axe restores the peace and everyone lives happily ever after.

The story of the Frog Prince doesn’t make much sense. You have to kiss a frog to return him to his royal ranks and then in doing so you are rewarded by marrying him and becoming a princess… I think that’s the essence of it. I’m all for teaching folks that we should see the beauty in everyone, even the French, but the story could easily be taken another way. There are words to describe girls who go around kissing every Tom, Dick, and Harry and they usually do not include “Princess.”

Another thing that I’m confused about is, it’s Kermit the Frog. Kermit the Frog wouldn’t magically change into a man-prince, if anything, he would magically turn into a frog-prince… oh, I get it. I guess what I’m saying is that I doubt this story followed the fairy tale of the frog prince very closely, but it was definitely the bedtime story that I remember the most.

Looking it up in search of pictures, I've learned that Kermit's not actually the frog prince.  It's all on YouTube if anyone's curious.  I watched the first couple of minutes and decided I didn't want to see it... I'm happy having heard it.  This is part 1 of 5.

For me, a close second was actually a tie between the Free to Be You and Me record and the Mother Goose Stories record. I don’t remember much of either one of those though, giving The Frog Prince the edge.

My Favorites: Day 1

My Favorite Way to Relax

I hear bubble baths and Yanni are pretty nice.

I was hesitant to accept this challenge in part because I feel like what I like and dislike can change from day to day or can change depending on how I'm feeling, so the answer might end up with a rambling explanation with no definitive answer.  Like to relax, I'll admit that my go to form of relaxing is turning on the television, but I almost always lose interest pretty quickly and get frustrated that nothing is on TV.  Commercials are my downfall as far as my attention span goes, and it usually isn't that the commercials are interrupting the program.  I get sucked into the commercial and start to grade them and think how they could be better, and then if I see one that I don't like, then I end up changing the channel. 

Similarly, for Christmas I got the last two seasons of the Superman-inspired Smallville on DVD so I've used that as a daily dose of relaxation after work.  We just finished them this weekend though, so I'm back to square one.

Reading is usually relaxing for me, and I always enjoy doing it, but I'm not sure I read enough to say it is my favorite way to relax.  I usually just read right before bed, but right now I'm reading a book about how Abraham Lincoln was actually a world-class vampire hunter, so it hasn't been too relaxing, or very good for my sleep either as I've woken up more than once dreaming about things that I don't want to be dreaming about.

Music is a good answer.  Driving with the radio on usually relaxes me and often times, I require the drive home from work to relax before getting home.  I love music that I can sing to and a lot of times my throat hurts from singing so loud to whatever's on the radio.  I believe, I have the voice of an angel.

But the answer that I keep getting back to is the great outdoors.  Simply being outside, particularly out in the wild frontier of nature is my favorite way to relax.  Those who know me might be surprised by that answer as I haven't been camping since I was a teenager and the same is almost true of hiking.  I'm also not all that excited about getting sweaty in general.  Just being outside is wonderful though and my favorite lunchtime location is the Lake Where I Eat Lunch Often.  If it weren't for that hour long break from the fluorescence of my little cubicle in front of a glowing computer screen, my work would be a lot more depressing, my days a lot more stressful, and my life a lot less wonderful.

At times I also like to lay on my back and listen to new age meditation CDs.

My Favorites...

In a desperate attempt to write everyday, I'm taking on yet another month-long challenge.  In the past these have been equally fun and frustrating, depending on the challenge.  What makes this month's challenge different is that it is 100% about me.  It's not me trying to do something new or eat a certain way or raise awareness about something (have I done that?), it is about me exploring the most interesting subject of all... myself. 

That's right, this month I will attempt to better define myself every single day through the all-mighty Muted Guerrilla, by defining My Favorites.  To do this I've asked the beautiful and talented Tiffany to compile a list of potential "favorite" topics.  The list will remain top secret and I will randomly select one of the topics to write about each day.  Last night I selected my first topic - Favorite Way to Relax - and will pick tomorrow's topic after I post this one.

If this sounds like a lame challenge to you, well then you clearly don't appreciate all the wonders that lies within this brain of mine, and you can check back next month.

The Wii

This past month has been a big one. Between the Christmas and the New Years and the Martin Luther King Day and the snow days, it is almost easy to overlook my wife’s birthday. It would never be okay to overlook her birthday, but I do see that it is easy for it to get lost in the shuffle. I’m just saying that after a big Christmas of giving and receiving, it is easy to fall into a bit of gift fatigue for the few weeks afterwards.

This gift fatigue is something that true gift-givers can spot early on and prepare for. I, admittedly, may have a lot to learn on this subject, but my in-laws, however, mastered this obstacle this year with the gift of …. A Wii.

Tiff and I went to their place for a birthday celebration where it was revealed soon after we arrived. Then I had roast beef. Tiff had none. And then we talked about Wiiiiiiiii!!, all the way home. (rimshot)

Perhaps I’m about three years too late to write any relevant review, but as far as video game consoles go, the wii is something else. After years of playing video games, I have attained a certain amount of hand-eye coordination. Conversely, I have not developed much, for lack of a better term, other coordination. Call it “body motion fluidity” or “limb placement awareness” or “corpus controllus” or simply “grace;” whatever it is, I don’t have it.

To illustrate: the wii comes with a game where you can play tennis, box, bowl, golf, and even play baseball! I opened it up, pushed in the disc and played up a storm. Then, after I had sufficiently mastered each event, I took on the test your age challenge. I returned serves and hit homeruns and even picked up a couple spares like an old pro. Convinced the wii would indicate that I was the perfect specimen of health, I eagerly pressed ahead to find out my results, which tell you the age your body is performing at… I believe 20 is the best.

I’m 47.

There’s nothing wrong with being 47, except when you are thirty. That’s okay though, I’ll just keep working at it. Maybe my wife can get me something to help me out with my wii age for my birthday.

Not My Fault

It is a new year and all has been quiet here at the Muted Guerrilla. Oh sure, we’ve dressed up our look a bit with a wonderful argyle background, but to our regular readers, there has been precious little to read of late. But you see, there is a perfectly good reason for this. As it turns out, I am incompetent. I’ll admit that I can do lots of things adequately and in fact, I can do some things rather smashingly, but when it comes to the gizmos and gadgets that make up the technology of today it is I that feels smushed.

I have several events from the past month that I want to share. I even have a video of two of them. But in these videos lie my downfall. For I spent over four hours mastering a free video editor that I downloaded from some website and in the end, I had created an award-worthy two-and-a-half minute short film about jumping into the ocean.

As I was preparing my acceptance speech, the video failed to copy onto my computer. I tried seven times and each time it looked good until just after the really hairy guy ran past the camera… I wonder if he had something to do with it. I even went as far as posting the written portion of it; maybe I’ll get the video up some day.

Anyways, maybe I should just stick to what I am good at… writing ad nauseum about whatever I want. And there is plenty to write about these days, but all in good time. For now though, I think I’ve learned something very valuable… don’t try new things. Wait, that’s terrible. How about, when nothing else works… turn to argyle.

Tim Bush, A Man of the People

Tim Bush, today is your day!

Elated Tim (right) receiving the Round Five Prize from an equally elated John Duffy.

Today I can write about nothing but my brother-in-law, Tim Bush who won the honor and prestige of being spotlighted in this hallowed publication in Round Five of a special Duffy edition of the Ticket Tree that took place on December 29th, 2010. The winning bid was a depressingly low $5. People apparently have little interest in having their name and reputation shine, by the words of John Duffy, on the internet in perpetuity. Well, Tim Bush, it is their loss and your gain. I’m going to make you glow bright enough to roast a duck.

As I begin to write this portrait of a true American, I find myself struggling to encapsulate all that is Tim in such a format, and I have to wonder if this assignment would be better served in a six volume encyclopedia set on all the wonders that is Tim Bush, or perhaps an HBO miniseries starring Daniel Day Lewis as Tim Bush would be more appropriate. The subject may even lend itself to a daily newsprint featuring up-to-the-minute information on the man himself, Tim Bush… Oh, man! Tim could have his own blog!

All joking aside, I fear Tim Bush. My fear stems from Tim’s innate ability to seamlessly integrate into a family as wound up as my own. I believe most folks can relate to this experience, and while some do it with loud and boisterous techniques that can be effective, Tim opted for a more laid back approach. For most, it would take years to pull this off. With my own experience in which I’ve adopted a similar strategy, after 8 years it remains a work in progress. Tim however pulled this off in, eh, 14 months.

As my loyal readers could suspect, I carry a certain amount of respect for the era of yesteryear and Tim’s profession screams of this. For Tim Bush, is a shopkeeper. I’m sure there are other terms that might be more suiting, like Gallery Owner, Business Owner, Art Trader, or even Artist in his own right, but with “shopkeeper” Tim can be envisioned by those who don’t know him as wearing a manly apron and a visor, with glasses on his nose and a pencil behind his ear. Plus, I can attest that, much like Tim himself, the River To Sea Gallery is a North Carolina treasure and Wilmington landmark for this generation.

As recently as last month, if you were to ask Tim about himself, the Gallery would not be the first thing mentioned, but instead he would talk about his three wonderful kids – and perhaps their wonderful uncle. They are all truly awesome – especially the uncle – and incredibly lucky to have a guy like Tim as their dad.

Ever since a few weeks ago, if asked about himself, Tim would undoubtedly talk immediately about his time playing America ’s favorite game show, the Ticket Tree! Not only did he win this Round Five prize, but he also won the Grand Prize Round! Here he is accepting his winnings! 

Tim receiving the Grand Prize, a John Duffy original painting, from the Special Duffy Edition of the Ticket Tree.

Despite this cheesey post, Tim's a great guy and should have more days devoted to him... days that don't cost $5.

The Dolphin Dip

It’s a new year. It’s that time of year where you are left thinking “(insert year) just doesn’t sound right.” 2011 is especially bad as it is neither easy to say nor fun to say. It lacks the crisp sounding “2010” and the poetic “2012.” Therefore we at the Muted Guerrilla are predicting this year to be predictably boring. Because of this dour forecast, it is imperative that we do all that we can to make this year one to remember.


With this in mind, I would like to start off the new year with a bang… or rather a splash. Now, this is my first attempt at combining videos, and it only took me four hours to make.

Christmas Conversation

It’s difficult this time of year not to talk about Christmas. I was telling someone a highly entertaining story about this morning’s commute when I noticed the glaze in their eyes and the fidget in their stance. I decided to wrap up my story, and then ask a holiday question, “So, what are you going to be for Christmas this year?”

It’s not like there isn’t other stuff going on either. I mean, the winter solstice just occurred on the same night as a lunar eclipse – druids everywhere are rejoicing. I thought about staying up to see it, but I was tired and it was cold. This morning I searched the vastness of the internet for some of the best pictures of this global phenomenon. One of the first I found was from Manassas , VA … my neighboring town.

I can’t help but feel like I missed out on something big. Unless I am too tired and cold come Christmas morning, however, I don’t think I’ll miss anything too important.

Truthfully, this morning, even I was getting tired of my drive-to-work story. It lacked a certain holiday magic that all good stories need this time of year. If I had decided to rein up the old reindeer and take the sleigh into work, that would be different. Or if I had encountered a stranger who gave me the one thing I needed, but I didn’t know I needed, that would work too.

As it is the guy in front of me was just changing lanes a lot, always taking the inside corner. Maybe I’m just not a very good storyteller.

All that being said, I also overheard someone on their cellphone today who was clearly not talking about Christmas.  He was a large man with a big belly and he said with a hardy laugh "... well, I guess that's what you get for working in the coal mines!  Har! Har! Har!"  Wait a second... big belly... hardy laugh... talking about coal!  Did I just see the big man himself in Target?

It's A Wonderful Story

I’m not sure how to say what it is that I want to say. If I were writing a paper in high school I would be sure to include in my opening line that this weekend I saw a wonderful play. As a high school graduate, I’ll start off with: Christmas is almost here… it’s less than a week away! (An ellipsis!?! In the opening line!?!) While the big day is quickly approaching, Christmastime started a couple of months ago.

If anything, Thanksgiving is the traditional start of the holiday season, but now-a-days, I believe you’re expected to be at a full holiday spirit sprint by Thanksgiving just to keep up. The season starts warming up in stores as early as October 9th. Then themed commercials start popping up in early November. This year, November 19 was the day that the listen-while-you-work radio station switched over to all-Christmas, all-the-time. Then after Thanksgiving, anything goes!

The exuberance level is at a sustained month-long fever-pitch. Stores go crazy trying to win your business! Neighbors turn their yards into something between a flea market and a light-show extravaganza!  And of course, several television stations turn into holiday movie marathons, featuring a solid month of non-stop holiday movies to remind us of the true meaning of Christmas… although this year Back to the Future is somehow included in that repetitive marathon.

For years, the only movie that was aired more than once was It’s A Wonderful Life. It is the holiday classic of holiday classics (mainly because of its awesome special effects! Wait, no…). I’ve seen the movie a few times but all I remember is a scene here and there – for some reason a construction scene is the first thing I think of – and it has a happy ending.

This weekend I got to see the story played out at the community theater. Oh my god! What a great story! I am not joking; it has to be one of the Greatest Stories Ever Told! Once I realized what was going to happen at the end with all the people helping him out… well, it got pretty emotional. Granted, I was probably one of the few people over the age of 8 who did not know how the story ended, but I’m glad I didn’t. And I’m glad I do now.

Hot Dog, that George Bailey is one swell guy. He’s always doing the right thing and in return, the world takes care of him. I wish I could be more like George Bailey, as it is I’ve just been running around shouting Merry Christmas at fever-pitch for the past six weeks.

Merry Christmas, you old George Bailey!

'Tis The Season

‘Tis the only time of year when you can use the term “’tis” and not have your masculinity questioned… or is it?

‘Tis also the season for year-end lists. This round of year-end lists all has one common element. They all make me feel old and lame. Maybe that’s two, but who’s counting? In fact, I think I could list the Top Ten Top Ten Lists of 2010 That Make Me Feel Old & Lame, with hypothetical comments:

10.  Songs of 2010. I know six of them and like none of them.
9.   Albums of 2010. I feel like there was a time in my life when I could have told you the difference between these two categories.
8.  Movies of 2010, by highest grossing.  I've seen one of them... on DVD.
7.  Movies of 2010, critics choice.  I've never heard of any of these... which may actually make me cool.
6.  Celebrities of 2010.  I don't see my name on this list.  I do see Justin Bieber!?!  Must be a typo.
5.  Sports Moments of 2010.  How is the pinnacle sports moment of my adult life only #7?
4.  Gadgets of 2010.  None of these interest me.
3.  Television Shows of 2010.  Wait... they have actual shows not on ABC, NBC, or CBS?
2.  Viral Videos of 2010.  Those are hilarious... I haven't seen any of them!
1.  Massively Multiplayer On-line Role Playing Games of 2010.  What?

Maybe next year I'll take the time to make this a real list.  On the flip-side I would be interested in a "Best Medical Advice of 2010."

‘Tis the season to get older by the year.

‘Tis also the season to slow down my blog. For whatever reason, that seems to be the annual pattern anyways. I’ll crank up the creative juices sometime in the summer, become almost … by September, embark upon some grand blogging scheme in October and begin to fizzle in November and sputter into hibernation in December or January.

This year, I had the ties going for October and then tried to give thanks for a while, but abandoned that with little mention of it. I still owe the good people in the blog world some two dozen thank you letters at some point… don’t think I’ve lost track. Anyhoo, in an effort to prolong my writing this season, I’ve written a couple of others this week that I just posted. One's actually about something that 'tis the season for; the other is of the utmost importance.  'T'are enjoyable!

I feel like 'tis the season for something else, but I just can't think of it... but first let me check that list I just made... I should check it twice.

The Great White North

Winter appeared today with the first snowfall of the season. There’s something akin to “dreamy” about the season’s first snowfall. As I see it, there is a fine line for snow between wonderful and miserable that the first snow almost always gets a pass on regardless of other events. It is inevitably wonderful, especially if it comes before the holidays and you can warm up with a bowl of tomato soup sitting beside a decorated Christmas tree with gifts gathering underneath.

I got to leave work early, happily driving through the thick of the storm, with speeds cut in half by the very real threat of icy conditions. When I got home, in the midst of the snowfall, I pulled out the old snow shovel to shovel the few inches of snow that lined our driveway and front stoop. I was oddly delighted to do so – cheerfully remembering the hours upon back-breaking hours spent performing this chore in last year’s Snow-pocalypse.

Post-snow-pocolyptic

The snow last year was miserable, in every sense of the word. It was wonderful as it fell on a Friday night and all day Saturday, but even as it continued to fall on Saturday night, the misery sank in as you were forced to consider getting to work on Monday. By Sunday, the blanket of white made way to a landscape marked by dirty sloshes of snow, and the impending work was in full swing. 

This is the only picture we took of the snow on the cars.  You can kind of see them under the snow.

It was a neighborhood effort and led to piles of snow taller than me. Soon we ran out of places to put the snow and we called it a day. I haven’t spoken to some of those people since.

Going to work wasn’t even considered the first day or two for most, but I believe soon everyone grew snow-weary and work beckoned so the roads filled and accidents happened and people got angry.

That snow was miserable. Today’s was beautifully wonderful.

Something in My Shoe

Yes, there is something in my shoe. It has been there all day long. It is neither sharp nor painful, but it is there, in my shoe. I can feel it with every step I take, hiding beneath my toe. It can only be so big, as it provides just enough discomfort – demands just enough attention – that I seem to forget about it when I sit down, so it remains in my shoe, under my big toe.

No, I have not removed the unwanted object in my shoe. I have not bent to its demands. I have not given any interest to this dull, hard thing that is worrying my toe. The existence of the thing that is in my shoe is of no consequence to me as I am above it and it is below me, digging into my big toe.

My toe belongs in my shoe. This hard object does not. I am confident that any irritation experienced on the part of my big toe pails in comparison to the distress put upon the unwelcome object in my shoe. Therefore, the shoe remains on my foot with this foreign entity in it. Be sure however, that upon its removal from my shoe, the blunt item lodged under my large toe will stay out of my shoe, forevermore.

It is only with the intention of providing you, dear reader, a complete picture of this misplaced monstrosity pitted against my ample toe in the confines of my inner sole that I am now removing said shoe from said foot. Ah, yes! I should have expected nothing less! This exploratory exercise has revealed a small piece of plastic that I believe once held a price tag on a recently purchased item.

In fact, if my limitless memory serves me correctly, I believe I placed this item in my shoe in order to keep it off of the floor, thinking at the time, “If this ends up on the floor, it will never be thrown away.”

Now I am returning this knotted plastic to the interior of my shoe, where it will unsuccessfully try to find an unobtrusive home. Ah, yes, there it is, pressing into the outside of my foot.

Email! Dang!

I haven’t written in a while because life’s gotten in the way. While I’ve been too busy to write anything much, I’ve definitely been thinking a lot. One thing that I’ve thought is about email.

People who know more than I do are starting to wonder how long email will last, as Facebook and Twitter look to take over the world. I’ve begun wondering the same thing… I mean my spam folder isn’t filling up like it once did. Call me old-fashioned, but I have a hard time getting into the world of Facebook and Twitter as I’m never sure what is worthy of mention (although I did have one immaculate – albeit chilled – Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich for lunch today at the lake… dang, it was good!)

Are Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches old-fashioned, too? In this world of healthy eats and peanut allergies, the answer is “probably so,” but that’s okay, I’m an old-fashion kind of guy. Anyways, my email idea is equally old-fashioned.

In this world of Facebook updates and Facebook comments and comments on comments and Tweets of comments on comments and Facebook updates of tweets of comments on comments, it is all just too much. The problem is not that of Facebook or Twitter though. It goes way back to email times and has taken many forms.

My idea is that my email should come once a day, all at the same time. This way, by the time I read my email, I can see what everybody thinks about an idea all at the same time. Then if I feel compelled, I can add my comment and the next day, when I check my email again, I can see what people said about my comment. It could probably work for Facebook too.

Now, I can see your furrowed brow, and I can hear exhale of arrogance. And I agree there is an easy way to make that happen. And maybe I will start checking my email but once a day, but what if I wasn’t the only one that had to live like that? What if it applied to everyone? Sure people might wait anxiously by their computer for their email to arrive, but how great would it be when it did? With the way people check their Facebook, it would be like Christmas morning each and every day! Then you could read it, respond, and go about your day until the next day. Dang, it would be good!

By the way, how did the post office miss out on creating an email service? Maybe they couldn’t offer all the bells and whistles of the email players, just a thought. My email has already become more like my actual mailbox than anything else… most days it’s just bills and ads. Dang, I'm brilliant.

Differing Thought

It’s strange what your mind gets caught on. You find yourself thinking about this weird saying or event at strange times for days and even weeks to come, and, if you’re like me, every time the thought springs up in your head, it’s quickly followed by the thought, why am I thinking about this.

This week, I’ve thought a lot about a 30-second conversation I had over Thanksgiving about shoes. I bought new shoes a few months ago. I’ve needed new shoes for much longer and I actively shopped for shoes for at least two weeks before hand.

The shoes that I was replacing were the best shoes I’ve ever owned, hands down. They were my first pair of Rockports, and they more than lived up to their name. I bought them in February 2007, so for the better part of four years they were my primary shoes. Early on, their stitching got a little ruffled and the toe got a little scuffled, but they felt great, even towards the end. Alas though, for shoes and creatures alike, the end is near when there is a hole in its soul that just can’t be fixed… or sole.

I decided on a pair of swanky Clarks as the new Rockports didn’t look right. My new shoes are great, and I love them, but they appear to scuff up pretty easily. So my mother, hi Mom!, asked me what caused that, and I didn’t know. My dad, hi Dad!, apparently believes the stairs are to blame. At the time, I said something like, Oh that makes sense, because it makes sense and I didn’t have a better reason. The conversation shifted and was quickly forgotten about. Until…

I got home and, much to my wife’s dismay, marched upstairs with my shoes on. I was about halfway up the stairs when I remembered my Dad’s Theory of Shoe Toe Scuff: blame the stairs. I slowed down and watched my steps. I proved his theory false. And then I continued my march up the stairs with other things on my mind.

Throughout the week, the thought returned frequently and without cause.  I'd be singing to a song on the radio and just as I get to a point where I don't know the words, the question would visit me for a while.    What scuffs my shoes?  I'd be pouring a glass of water and suddenly there it was.  Shaving.  Showering.  Busy at work.  The question would come and go, and I'd go mindlessly on my way.

By the end of the week, the question had lingered long enough that I decided I needed shoe polish, stat.  Last night, I put it on my official Christmas list to Santa,  Brown Shoe Polish.  Then this morning at work, in the middle of a conversation, the thought filled my head just as I was getting out of my car... so it was that awkward time when the conversation is put on hold for both people to get out of the car. 

Accompanying the question this time, however, was the answer.  So with no further ado, John Duffy's Shoe Toe Scuff Theory is... getting in and out of the car.  For me this is when my shoes get scuffed.  This has been further evidence of my brilliance, and I am publicly recommending that there be a law requiring signs posted at all automobile exits urging passengers to heed caution as they exit the vehicle. 

Qatar 2022

Today’s horoscope, from the Washington Post:

Taurus(4/20 – 5/20): Sometimes the one who has a novel take on things or can talk about a little known subject is considered quite interesting – in small doses that is.

With this in mind, all that I will say regarding the 2022 World Cup being awarded to Qatar over the US that I am extremely bummed. 

Here’s the video presentation of five of the twelve NFL-size stadiums to be built in a desert country, roughly the size of Connecticut in 12 years:
It will be quite the spectacle!  Congatulations Qatar!

World Cup Bid

You and I have something in common. We are both anxiously awaiting the results of tomorrow’s World Cup Bid.

The US is a contender for the 2022 Cup. That would put me at a spry 42 years of age, with enough disposable income to buy tickets to a game or two and, if all goes according to plan, kids that will be old enough to remember going.

A World Cup hosted by the US would be hugely successful for soccer in the world, as far as profits go, and in the USA it would further elevate the sport despite its lack of “TV time-outs.” Plus, with the decision being announced tomorrow, I would have 12 years to perfect my patriotic body make-up and face paint that would surely be captured by the television cameras. Oh, to be broadcast for all the world to see!

Yep, it would be something, all right.

But I’ve been forced into using hopeful “would”s and not certain “will”s in my writing as the once ironclad US bid has faltered a bit and has slipped into third after Qatar and Australia . Australia I can understand, although the time difference would suck, but the tiny desert nation of Qatar , hosting a sporting event in the middle of summer? The absurdity of it is mind-boggling.

I, however, will not be too disappointed when the Cup is given to the oil-rich, bribe-happy, Qatari people because of one thing. They can build way-cool stadiums. (I’ve seen the word “stadia” used more than “stadiums,” but I’m not stooping to peer pressure. Plus, stadia looks silly.) If you haven’t seen the list of to-be-built stadiums, they are amazing, and I can’t wait to see them become a reality. Because oil tycoons can do what they want, the stadiums offer things that don’t make any sense, like air-conditioning for an outdoor stadium and the ability to be deconstructed and shipped to third world countries. I can hear ‘em now, “I think we’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

One is built on a man-made island that requires boat taxis to get to.

Another is shaped like a giant seashell.

Anyways, here’s the full list… each one more spectacular than the next.

Giving Thanks to... The Prince William County Parks Authority

It came out of nowhere. Big and hairy and carrying a stench so vile that few people live to tell about it.

Let me back up… Everything changes with the seasons, most notably the lake where I eat lunch often. The leaves turn into a vivid array of splendid colors that makes one think, “now, THIS is why man invented the color TV!” Then the leaves quickly fall to the ground, revealing a depressing world of suburban townhomes just beyond the curtain of trees and forces one to think, “now, this is why man invented the TV.”

The falling temperatures and rising winds have forced me to move from the shade by the lake to a sunny picnic table near the lake. Today was a bit warmer, I was enjoying another delectable Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich and some dry cereal – it’s almost Thanksgiving and I haven’t gone to the store – thinking about the wonders of my thoughts when I turn to face a giant beast! It had a stick in its mouth and a wag in its tail.

It was a giant dog the size of a school bus and appeared to have recently plunged into the lake where I eat lunch often and now wanted to play. Wrapped up by its enthusiasm, I put out my hand to pet the big wet dog, and it, in turn, jumped in my lap. This is not what I wanted to happen, and as I let out a moan, the wild creature raced off back towards the lake.

As I stood there shaking my internal fist, I could feel the infection of wet dog smell sweep over me, emanating from my wet pants. It was then that I decided it was time to give thanks.

Dear Prince William County Parks Authority,

I just wanted to say thank you for all your excellent work with the parks in the county. I regularly visit the Lakeridge Marina and always appreciate the peace and quiet that it affords.  The park is always clean and well-maintained making it a delight each and every time I go.

I also really like the new park near Haymarket; I believe it is called Silver Lake.  I've only been a handful of times, but have enjoyed it every time.  At first I was disappointed to learn that a middle school was being built so close to the lake, but when it is done it will be wonderful for both the students and the community alike.

Thanks again and happy holidays,
John Duffy

Thanks for Nothing

Thanks for nothing Muted Guerrilla.

I truly am thankful for so much each and everyday. But in an effort to maintain my rugged masculinity, I have faltered in my attempt to thank someone every single day. As I’ve alluded to before, it just doesn’t feel right to go around giving thanks all the time. Plus, if you deserve a thank you, you know what it is you did, and a simple, heart-felt, “Thanks” should sum it up.

That being said, I started this nonsense, so I’ll see it through, however sporadic it happens to be, till the end of the month. I had to back-date a number of posts, but don’t miss my thanks to an artist, a radio station, a website, a restaurant, and a superstar.

Giving Thanks to... John Sovjani

Dear John Sovjani,

I just wanted to say that it was a pleasure to speak with you this past Saturday at the art show in Gaithersburg , MD. My wife and I bought several of your prints and we love them all. They really help make our new(ish) home feel like ours.

We had bought a few small prints five or six years ago when we were just dating and we have always said how much we would love to decorate our walls with your artwork. Now that we have started this, I cannot tell you how pleased we both are with it.

Thank you so much, happy holidays,
John and Tiffany Duffy

They really are awesome. We went to the artshow mainly to see him, and he was one of the last booths we walked past. His booth is set up so that he has originals on one side and prints on the other.

After we decided on which ones we wanted,

we were waiting in line to purchase them – he was doing some serious business, and chatting up a storm with each and every one, which I think is part of the appeal – I struck up a conversation with an older couple… or well, they started talking to me. I had heard the man talking earlier about the pieces that he has in his attic that he doesn’t have room for. The first thing he said to me was along the lines of “that print there… I own the original. It looks amazing in the spare bedroom of my house in Delaware.” They bought three originals from him. Maybe one day that will be me, but if I had to guess… my second home will not be in Delaware.

Giving Thanks to... Christmas Radio

Dear 97.1 WASH-FM,

More than any other one thing, I know the holiday season is here when you switch your broadcast to the 24 hour Christmas playlist. Thank you for adding to this wonderful time of year. Music is so powerful in that it can invoke memories, relieve stress, set the mood, and bring joy and happiness to all. This is especially true around the holidays with Christmas music.

Happy Holidays!
John Duffy

So… truthfully? The local radio station switched over to all Christmas joy on Friday. I love me some holiday music, hence the thank you, but all Christmas, all the time is a bit much. It may be the happ-happiest season of all but there’s a fine line between parties for hosting and marshmallows for roasting, and there’s an epoch gulf between scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long agoooo.

Plus, there are only so many Christmas songs. Just because Bing Crosby sings it one hour and Clay Aiken sings it the next, does not hide the fact that they are the same song being played within 60 minutes of each other. And… there’s a reason why some songs don’t have any covers. If I have to hear George Michaels singing “Last Christmas, you gave me your heart,” one more time, I might be sick. And don’t even get me started on the one that truly is just terrible, “It’s Christmas Eve in Washington .” Who thinks that’s a good song? It’s terrible!

There are some great Christmas songs though and I do like having the option to listen to Christmas music on the radio. My favorite Christmas songs though, I think are the two Christmas CD’s we listen to, Ray Charles Christmas and some jazz trio’s Jazzy Christmas.

Giving Thanks to... Groupon

Dear Groupon,

Like jell-o and the stock market, I have no idea how you work but I like you very much. Today, I was able to attend two great events that I would not have attended had it not been for the amazing deals I found on your website.

We had wanted to attend the Sugarloaf Crafts Festival, but I believe your deal made it happen, as it was a bit of a drive for us. We ended up finding quite a bit of stuff that we plan to hang on the walls of our new home.

And then, we got to see the Fairfax Symphony Orchestra for $20 off a ticket! It was a lot of fun, with the first and last songs being wonderful, and the song in the middle being so God-awful that I will remember it as long as I live. Your impact was evident at the symphony, as there was a line of folks with their printed receipts waiting to collect their tickets.

All in all good job, and I look forward to finding more great opportunities.

Thanks again and Happy Thanksgiving,
John Duffy

Giving Thanks to... Glory Days Grill

Dear Glory Days Grill,

Just wanted to say thank you for your excellent promotion that you are running with the Washington Capitals. I’m not a big hockey fan, but I got to go to a game recently for the first time and had an amazing time. The Caps won the game 6-4.

With the game tied 4-4, the arena erupted when John Erskine powered a shot in from the blue line to give the Caps the lead. Everyone went crazy. It was awesome. What made it even better, with this fifth goal, was the message of FREE WINGS that flashed on the scoreboards. FREE WINGS! FREE WINGS!

Well, tonight, my wife and I went to your restaurant in Gainesville , VA to redeem our free wings, and they were delicious. We both chose your signature sauce, and we both loved them. We will definitely be headed your way next time we get a hankering for some chicken wings.

Our waitress, whose name I don’t remember, was awesome, by the way. She advised me not to try a hoppsier beer, because it’s too hoppsy, which I appreciate. Oh, and my meal was excellent too, but after the free wings, a Mac’N’Cheese Burger is a lot of burger.

Happy Thanksgiving!
John Duffy

And thanks again goes to Merrifield Garden Center … it’s the gift that keeps on giving!

Giving Thanks to... Gwyneth Paltrow

Dear Gwyneth Paltrow,

I never knew my wife was such a fan of yours until recently. With my wife’s insistence, I found myself watching all of the Country Music Awards last week and an episode of Glee, due to your appearance on both shows. I thought both were surprisingly fun to watch. I wanted to thank you for re-introducing me to country and for introducing me to that Cee-Lo Green song, which cracks me up.

I’m not much of a country fan, but your performance on the CMA’s was excellent, and I look forward to your upcoming movie. I actually liked a lot of the music that night, and programmed one of the buttons on my car radio to a country station. Country music can be a lot of fun, and when you haven’t heard any in a long time, it’s even better.

I’ve never watched a full episode of Glee. I kind of like the song and dance but the rest of the show is a little too much. The show did make me laugh, especially the line “You smell homeless.” I really liked the first song you sang though, and a good song can’t be beat. I looked it up and I love it.

Thanks for everything and keep on surprising me,
John Duffy

As for Cee-Lo's video... prepared to be blown away... for those who care, I went with the radio edit version, just because. The name of the song is not actually "Forget You."

Giving Thanks to... Merrifield Garden Center

Last night I got to go to a Capitals hockey game, so my thank you is warranted and therefore pretty easy. We even made a video saying thanks:

Dear Merrifield Garden Center,

My wife and I were lucky enough to have our names pulled from a drawing of yours where we won tickets to a Capitals game. We went last night to watch them beat the Atlanta Thrashers, 6-4. It was awesome.

For both of us, it was our first hockey game, and it made a fan out of both of us. We spent awhile trying to figure out all the rules, which I’m not sure we ever did, but it was easy enough to know when to cheer, which we were lucky enough to do throughout the game.

All-in-all, we had an amazing time and just wanted to say thank you for giving us the opportunity. We discovered your store (in Gainesville ) only recently and have become fans of you as well. We got three mums from you guys that are making the two we got at Lowe’s look bad… we’ve moved them behind yours.

Can’t thank you enough,
John Duffy

Here’s another video.  This one's of the second goal, which Tiff was able to catch on video… she doesn’t video throughout these events, but after a DC United goal and Redskins touchdown and having the camera ready for this, it’s clear that she has a talent for it.

Giving Thanks to... Josh

I haven’t quite established the rules for this month of thanks giving, so I’m a little unsure who to thank. I’m hoping that once the “who” is identified the question of “how” will work itself out, because so far, it all feels a little awkward. My one rule of thanking someone every day hasn’t exactly been followed, which oddly makes it even harder to write a thank you.

Part of the problem is that I don’t want to get too personal. A lot of days the people who I have the most reason to thank are friends or coworkers who I don’t feel comfortable writing about on the internet. Plus, “Hey thanks for helping me out back there; I really owe you one” isn’t always thank-you-note worthy and would just create an odd working relationship. I would become the weird guy who writes thank you notes, which is fine among family and friends, but colleagues is a different story.

I had visions of writing thank yous to famous people, but at what point does a thank you just become basic fan mail, and I feel like I’m too old for fan mail. “Hey thanks for making that really cool movie.” It would be neat to collect folks autographs though. Somebody in my family tree did that several generations back and amassed the signatures of lots of people who I mostly don’t know but included Sam Houston and President Zachary Taylor. I think it was Taylor . Anyways, that’s a different task all together though, and didn’t require any thanks.

I had a friend growing up who became an eagle scout and he invited all these famous people to his eagle scout ceremony. I remember him getting an autographed picture from Charlton Heston and thinking “Hey, it’s Ben Hur!”

Maybe I should be thanking people like my old friends who I’ve lost touch with over the years and just say, “It sucks we’ve grown apart. Thanks for all the great memories.” Sure it would sound a bit like a yearbook entry, but this time I’d mean it.

All that being said, I may have to search for an address on this one, but:

Dear Josh,

Hey man, it’s John Duffy! I got to thinking about you today and felt compelled to write to see how you are doing. I don’t think we’ve seen each other for some ten or so years, pretty crazy eh? It sucks that we grew apart. I know we had some great laughs back in the day and, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I just wanted to say thanks for all the good times growing up.

...

Anyways, I hope you and your family are doing well,

John Duffy

The actual letter included more, but you get the basic idea.

Giving Thanks to... Timothy

Is it too early to thank my own stupidity?  Here is a picture of my finger:

That white stuff is a hunk of skin.

This morning I woke up and thought an apple would be the perfect start to my day.  It was not, as it turns out.  The carnage that followed was of my own stupidity, although a deceivingly sharp apple slicer (corer?) played a part in it.  I'm counting on Neosporin working as advertised.  As far as thanking folks, there are lots of people to thank on this Veteran's Day, but I'm going to have to write my thank you to Timothy.

This being a holiday for me but not for my wife, I had grand visions of a three course meal with a tablecloth and the whole works.  My plans changed a bit after slicing my finger open and I ended up dilly-dallying the whole day away.  When Tiffany got home there was nothing on the stove and no candle-lit dinner.  So, thirty minutes later, Timothy appeared on my doorstep with Domino's.

Dear Domino's Timothy,

Thank you for your prompt delivery.  I had just asked my wife how long did the internet say it would be when the doorbell rang.  It was perfect timing!  The Domino's on-line ordering is great by the way.  I love the new sound effects.  That rocker can really wail!  They gave my wife and I a good laugh. 

Keep up the good work!

Rock on!

John Duffy

"Your pizza is in the oveeeeeen, and is getting hot, HOT, HOT!!"

Giving Thanks to... Hilton Hotels

I don’t want to dwell on my rather uneventful stay at the Hilton Hotel in Virginia Beach , but today, they sent me an email thanking me for my stay. This email had all the warmth and sincerity of any automated message, but I figure it is kind of them, even if it’s just an attempt to win my business in the future.

I really didn’t do much to be thanked. My last few posts have not been anything to thank me over. In fact, if anything, I feel a bit bad for criticizing, however little that was criticizing.  Plus,  I was their guest; I should be thanking them!! So here’s a little note I wrote, doing just that:

Dear Hilton Virginia Beach Oceanfront,

Last week I had the good fortune to stay at your hotel for three nights. I had a wonderful experience. Everyone I spoke to was incredibly kind and more than helpful, answering any question that I had.

My stay was the result of a conference that was being held at your hotel. It wasn’t the most exciting conference, but the accommodations were wonderful… and the chocolate chip cookies were delicious!

All-in-all, I just wanted to say thanks for a job well done!

Sincerely and Happy Thanksgiving!
John Duffy

I’m not sure how I feel about sending this out. It seems unnecessary to say the least, but I’m sealing it up, and dropping it in the mailbox. It’s time I start appreciating things a bit and what better time to say thanks than with Thanksgiving right around the corner.

That’s why, after some deliberation, I’m going to make a go of giving thanks, lots of thanks. So, with the ulterior motive of drawing millions of people to my blog, I plan on giving thanks to someone… anyone, everyday at least till the end of the month. I’m getting a late start, so I feel like I should go longer, but I’m not committing myself to that.  I kind of feel like I might be biting off more than I can chew as it is, but we'll see!  So, be sure to tune in tomorrow, who knows who I'll be thanking... I certainly don't.

In other news, I wore a tie to work on Monday. Nobody batted an eye.

Hotelevision

Growing up, I didn't get to stay in a hotel very often.  When I did, it was usually just a sleepover stay on a long car ride, but even still, it was always a bit exciting.  In my head, one of the more exciting things about it was always the television - albeit perhaps that is just because it fits with this post.

At home as a kid, we had four or five channels that came in pretty well and then another two or three that were fuzzy or came in sometimes. Judging by the amount of TV that I watched, it was all I needed and more.  In elementary school, for example, I could recite, word for word, entire Looney Tunes cartoons.  I remember performing Muscle Tussle as part of a class assignment.  This wouldn't be nearly as impressive today, given the internet.

Hotels though offered something truly spectacular for television-loving kids like me, cable television.  Truthfully, I only remember the USA network and TNT, both of which played different cartoons than those that I was used to.  But I am sure that it offered the regular slew of channels that were around back then: CNN, the Weather Channel, ESPN, MTV, and... we're there others?  WGN, Chicago's "Superstation".

I keep getting off topic, but growing up in Atlanta, TBS, Atlanta's "Superstation" was broadcast for free, so I didn't think it was anything special until much later in life.

Then as I grew older, a good hotel separated itself among the pack by having HBO!  This was something beyond spectacular.  People swore on HBO!  There was a chance that you could catch a brief glimpse of nudity!  Talk about great!

The point is, though, hotels once used television as an amenity meant to put it ahead of the competition.  As a result, hotels far outshone the home entertainment of what I was used to.  Staying at a nice hotel this past week, I learned that this is no longer the case. 

HD has become the standard in television, and it seems like it's been around for a long, long time.  Long enough for a hotel as well-respected as Hilton to jump on the bandwagon.  I actually just made the switch myself a few months ago.  I didn't realize how much of a difference it would make, particularly with sports.  I generally don't think of myself as a snob, particularly when it comes to technology, but this lack of HD annoyed me a surprising amount.

I grew to accept the standard definition-ness world being broadcast to me pretty quickly though, but one thing I never grew accustomed to was a little television innovation known as the guide.  You can scroll through to see what's on now or anytime in the next week.  I love it and use it like I love it, and not having it this past week was just plain annoying.  It's five minutes to the hour, what can I watch next? I don't know... and by the time the next round of shows start it takes five minutes going through all the channels to see what's on, by which point you've lost the beginning of any show you decide on.  Frustrating.

I suppose television innovation has become not only a rapidly transforming thing, but also one that people tend to apply to their homes so it loses its allure a bit in hotels.  Hotels, as a result, have turned to other upgrades and features to draw in their clientele, like Murphy beds and double-headed showers.

Or perhaps, the hotel is just trying to subtly suggest, "Hey, get out of the hotel room for a while."

The Shower Head

I was lucky enough to spend a couple of days at a Hilton oceanside hotel. I felt very high class. There are a couple of strange things about the place though, not least among them was that my bed was a Murphy bed.  It was downthe whole time, and now I'm regretting not having put it away just to see what it's like.

All the comfort of an upscale futon!

This picture is actually from Wikipedia.  I didn't see any instructions on the actual bed, but even if I had, I couldn't have taken a picture myself as I haven't entered the BlogCamEra, just yet.  Maybe a newer phone with a camera in it would be nice.

There was one thing that I thought was so odd that, without camera, I had to draw a picture of it to help explain it.  Here's a drawing of the hotel shower.

La-la-laaa!

Do you see anything strange about this picture?  Why yes, my bellybutton is lower - but that's not what I'm talking about.  My hotel room shower had a double shower head.  I'm not sure what for.  My guess is to get extra clean.

Actually, here is my guess as to how it came to be.  The scene is a skinny-tied hotelier and a wide-tied builder:

Hotelier (dreaming of a two-person shower, with a shower head on either side): I just heard of the next big thing.  Picture this: TWO shower heads in every shower... in every room... in every one of our hotels!

Builder: I don't know, boss, that just seems strange.  Seems to me that showers are just fine with just the one shower head.

H: No, this... this is going to be huge!  I'm telling you, people love their upgrades.  Someday, every house in America will have two shower heads.  It's going to be great!

B:  If you say so, boss.

H: You didn't believe me when I said the Murphy bed is back and now look at it.  People have all that extra hotel room space with just a little lift of their bed!

B:  A truer statement has never been said, boss.

H: How much extra are we talking about here to install a second shower head?

B: I don't know, $50 extra bucks or so.

H: You can do it for that cheap! Let's do this!  We'll be world-renowned for our showers with TWO shower heads!  I can see it now!  The waiting list for one of our rooms will be months. 

B: You're the boss, boss. Two-headed showers, coming up.

In my head that was two lines of dialogue.  I kind of get carried away.

Making Money

That last post reminds me, I finally got ads up on my YouTube videos! The delay was the result of user error… I’m going to blame my intern Jeff. It started counting last Thursday and I’ve already made over a dollar!

That being said, here they are… please study them closely, over and over, as many times as you need to:

On to November

October was a lot of fun. I posted more last month than ever, which is something I’m oddly proud of. Granted, not too many of the posts were earth-shatteringly brilliant, but aside from wearing a tie everyday, I posted everyday, which is an accomplishment in and of itself.

I believe my wife came to resent the challenge a bit. Lost was the line “hey, Honey! I’m home!” replaced by the ever-so cordial, “hey, do you have the camera? Let’s take the picture so I can take this thing off.” I think that any future tie-wearing days will include a loosened-tie commute home.

Unfortunately, it’s now back to regular blogging. As the campaign signs along my tie-wearing commute have reminded me, with a sense of unintended doom, “November is coming.” I’ve spent a lot of the past month fearing the impending November, as I felt I needed another challenge, or gimmick, to carry me through the next month. I’ve had several ideas of what could be done, from eating oatmeal for breakfast each day to 5-minute showers to wearing a hat, but none of them really excite me. The tie-wearing campaign allowed for easy posts and public displays of commitment, which it seems, should be a stipulation for such challenges.

The daily post is something to strive for though. I don’t it will continue for long – in fact, I’ll be out of town the rest of the week – but it does give me something to shoot for.

I mean dang, not only was last month my active month posting, I also earned more money last month through Google AdSense than ever before. In fact, last month I doubled my revenue… to $18! A few more bucks and I’ll earn enough for a sale-priced new tie!

Not Wearing Ties

After wearing a tie everyday for a month, today I returned to work a bit more casual.

My neck is cold.



Yes, Tietober is over but the memories will last a lifetime. At times, I hated having to put a tie on or having something tight around my neck, but more often than not, I liked looking spiffy.

I don’t think people treated me any different, except maybe some of the older ladies who I think just thought I looked cute… which I did, as always. I’m not sure if I learned anything or came to any realization, perhaps because I wasn’t looking for anything like that. As I said though, I did come to enjoy wearing ties and will likely choose to wear a tie to work in the future.

In fact, this past Friday, I ran into something of a dilemma. Kohl’s was having a big sale, so the wife and I went to check out the deals. As I was walking through the men’s clothes, I realized that I wasn’t sure what my style of clothes was. I had worn ties so long that I was leaning toward the nicer looking shirts and even spent some time looking at the ties – all of which looked much more impressive than any that I own; I don’t think I wore a true Power Tie once!

After deciding to pass on everything as a result of this dilemma, the wife encouraged me to get something, so I ended up with a dressy shirt ready to button at the neck. I spent a month wearing ties just for something to do. Now that the month’s up, I’m planning my wardrobe around the knotted accessories.

Wearing Ties: Day 31!

 It's the last day of my tie wearing campaign.  As sad as that thought is, at least I still have today.  Plus, today is Halloween which is fun.  So this picture is me in my Halloween costume... any guesses as to what I am?

If you guessed mild-mannered reporter, you'd be right!  But wait, is that all I am for Halloween?  Here are some more pictures, as captured by my uber-talented photographer of a wife!

The hat-toss even has mild-mannered suspicion.

Was that danger I heard in the distance?  This looks like a job for...

Superman!!

Up, up, and away!

I had to put my serious face on for at least one heroic Clark Kent picture.

Happy Halloween everybody!

Wearing Ties: Day 30

I'm eating a meatball... er, um an Eyeball.

 So unfortunately we were experiencing some camera battery issues, so this wonderful picture is the only one that we got of me today.  Truthfully, I didn't go anywhere today, so I only wore the tie about as long as the camera worked.

For dinner, we made a Halloween feast!  Sort of.  It's a little something that Tiff and I have dubbed, Earthworms and Eyeballs... with a piece of bread... and a glass of Phantom wine.  Mmmmm... mmm.

Wearing Ties: Day 29

This is me smiling with my mouth closed.

Today's my last day of work with a tie on... or at least where I'm obligated to wear a tie.  This was one of my original ties.  I've never worn it before but I really like it... it's textured.  Two more days to go!

DC United, Here's to Next Year

With Halloween coming up, it is time to reflect on one of the scariest things of all… how bad my local sports team was this past year. DC United’s season is mercifully over. They did not do very well. After breaking several undesirable records (21 goals in 32 games is not good, even by soccer’s low-scoring standards), it is time to officially look to the eternal promise of next year. About the only positive I can take away from this dismal season is that, even with the team at their worst, I am still a fan.

While I’ve always had some interest, I’ve followed the team religiously for just two years now, checking daily updates and frustrating my family and friends with talk of theories and wild speculation of what the team should do. At night, my wife will ask a surprisingly insightful question or two about DC United when she can’t sleep; as she drifts off to sleep, I am left wide awake for hours, with my brain in overdrive processing potential lineup changes or possible stadium locations. For the record, I’d like to see a 4-3-2-1 formation and believe the stadium should be within the District.

While I’ve heard ad nauseum of the once mighty and dominant DC United of yesteryear, these past two years have seen the team fall from “not-the-best” to “arguably-the-worst-in-league-history.” It has been hard to witness, but I haven’t been able to stop watching, painful loss after painful loss. By now, the excitement of taking the lead in a game is tempered by the unmistakable sense that it won’t last long.

Many might be repelled by this disastrous team with seemingly no direction, but as for me, I feel invested. I feel like my faith and support in the team over this low-period will be repaid, ten-fold, come next year. Yep, next year it will all click together.