Happy Birthday, Mom.

The Skype's the Limit

When I was younger, I had a vision of the future. It involved flying cars whizzing about and robots in white sweaters. Dishes and floors would clean themselves. Food would be cooked and ready to eat in a matter of moments. Buildings would all be made out of a shiny metal. People would wear hats with antennas and laws would require evil people to have devious smiles. I would be bald and in charge.

Sadly, none of that has happened… yet, but that hasn’t stopped the future from happening. For my birthday, my parents got all the parts for me to talk to them through my television set. The future is here, and its name is Skype.

Skype is actually really cool in that you can talk to folks anywhere in the world for free. It is especially great for my folks as they can see all their kids and grandkids that are spread out throughout the world.

For me though, there are a few things about it that will take some getting used to. For starters, and maybe this is just my egocentric ways, but rather than looking at the person I’m talking to, I spend my time watching myself and end up distractedly wondering if that’s really what I look like. Perhaps that’s something I should work on.

I also take issue with what is suppose to be the ringer. While telephones ring their familiar little ring and cell phones ring, sing, dance, and boogie, my Skype notifies me of an incoming Skype with more of an alarm. “BRRHH!! BRRHH!!” I feel like yelling “Stations everyone, stations!” And then there should be people hurriedly running back and forth with wrenches and hardhats.

That would be nice actually… to have a little chaotic scene taking place in the background. It would make me feel important. Plus, it would be a great excuse if I ever want to get off the phone… or I mean television. Note to self: purchase a flashing red light, preferably menacing.

And finally, I feel like my television is looking back at me. There is now a camera pointed directly at me as I stare absently at whatever the least objectionable programming is at the moment. And that camera is hooked up to the internet.

While this has forced my wife and me to keep the room a bit cleaner, it hasn’t cleared away any of the heebie-jeebies that big brother could be watching. Our solution was to cover it up. Luckily, I had taken a picture of my emergency money and had yet to return it to my wallet. With the future, I think it finally found its emergency.

For the Love of Geese

I firmly believe that there are two types of people in the world: those who enjoying feeding breadcrumbs to geese and those who have fed breadcrumbs to geese.

 

Today offered another beautiful lunch by the lake for me to enjoy the cool, gentle breeze of the shade.  Plus, the satisfaction that comes from a perfectly made Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich always brings a certain joy to my heart.  It was also a good day to watch a young couple feed the geese.

 

The two lovebirds, probably about twenty-years old, were nestled shoulder-to-shoulder as they sat Indian-style at the end of the wharf.  I can only imagine that the newfound love they share is eternal and forever and that one thought the other a brilliant romantic for suggesting that they celebrate their love by feeding breadcrumbs to the geese by the lake. Seeing them brought a certain joy to my heart. 

 

Yes, the image upon my lunchtime arrival struck me as being worthy of even the finest of artists.  The couple at the center of the scene surrounded by about a dozen or so floating geese appeared almost as a halo.  The shimmering water around the geese caught the summer sun just enough to add a sense of warmth to the picture.  The background filled with pristine forests along the opposite side of the lake hinted at a lost era of yesteryear.  Even the deep blue sky that held a handful of puffy white clouds brought a certain joy to my heart.

 

I sighed in delight and continued to my lunch.  Not too much later, as I was lost in thought from my PB&J, the unmistakable sound of geese honking drew my attention back to the lovebirds.  The honking began friendly enough but soon became angry, and the sound of a large bird rushing through the water that followed was short-lived but important. 

 

For, it was this aggressive fowl that chased the equally large goose out of the water, squawking and honking, onto the wharf.  Fortunately for the young couple, so very-much in love, this took place on the man's side of the two, so he could offer protection and security to the love of his life.

 

Instead, he screamed and stumbled to his feet away from the angry beast not two feet away.  In doing this, he knocked into the girl, who elegantly spun off the wharf and into the water.  Judging from how she fell, I want to say that the whole thing was choreographed as she spun on her rump with a certain grace and stretched out her legs just as she hit the water. 

 

The ruckus and splashing that ensued looked less rehearsed, as the birds scattered and honked and the young man scrambled to help the damsel in distress.  It took some time to haul her out of the lake. 

 

Then the couple retreated and as the embarrassed boy made sure to scare off the remaining birds from the pier, the soaked girl scowled into the distance as I tried to suppress a certain joy in my heart.