The Skype's the Limit

When I was younger, I had a vision of the future. It involved flying cars whizzing about and robots in white sweaters. Dishes and floors would clean themselves. Food would be cooked and ready to eat in a matter of moments. Buildings would all be made out of a shiny metal. People would wear hats with antennas and laws would require evil people to have devious smiles. I would be bald and in charge.

Sadly, none of that has happened… yet, but that hasn’t stopped the future from happening. For my birthday, my parents got all the parts for me to talk to them through my television set. The future is here, and its name is Skype.

Skype is actually really cool in that you can talk to folks anywhere in the world for free. It is especially great for my folks as they can see all their kids and grandkids that are spread out throughout the world.

For me though, there are a few things about it that will take some getting used to. For starters, and maybe this is just my egocentric ways, but rather than looking at the person I’m talking to, I spend my time watching myself and end up distractedly wondering if that’s really what I look like. Perhaps that’s something I should work on.

I also take issue with what is suppose to be the ringer. While telephones ring their familiar little ring and cell phones ring, sing, dance, and boogie, my Skype notifies me of an incoming Skype with more of an alarm. “BRRHH!! BRRHH!!” I feel like yelling “Stations everyone, stations!” And then there should be people hurriedly running back and forth with wrenches and hardhats.

That would be nice actually… to have a little chaotic scene taking place in the background. It would make me feel important. Plus, it would be a great excuse if I ever want to get off the phone… or I mean television. Note to self: purchase a flashing red light, preferably menacing.

And finally, I feel like my television is looking back at me. There is now a camera pointed directly at me as I stare absently at whatever the least objectionable programming is at the moment. And that camera is hooked up to the internet.

While this has forced my wife and me to keep the room a bit cleaner, it hasn’t cleared away any of the heebie-jeebies that big brother could be watching. Our solution was to cover it up. Luckily, I had taken a picture of my emergency money and had yet to return it to my wallet. With the future, I think it finally found its emergency.