Saturday, September 29, 2007

Just to Add a Little Spice to Life

Complete and utter global domination. That sounds scary, so I've decided not to set my sights on ruling all of mankind. Instead, I'm expanding my online world and adding another blog to my quickly growing empire. I figure if growth of the Muted Guerrilla continues at this pace, I'll be able to get my own ticker on the stock market. MG is still available!

You know actually that's not that bad of an idea... a blog stock market. "Buy" and "sell" blogs based on how they are doing. I wonder how that would work. It could be called the block market. I'm so clever.

Anyways, I have a feeling this is hopping on some trendy bandwagon of self-moderation but let me present John Duffy's Sacrifices. I'm great with these names... I really am clever. John Duffy's Sacrifices is more of a chronicle of personal challenges in the vein of last year's Egg Challenge egg-speriment, where I'll give up something or add something for a said amount of time and hopefully write about how it's going. I decided to go with sacrifices though because John Duffy's Challenges or Personal Challenges sounds a bit too much like an after-school special. I'll admit sacrifices sounds a bit morbid, so the name could possibly change.

I don't think I ever mentioned that a week after the Egg Challenge I went to the doctor with persistent chest pains. Hmmm... I wonder if the two were linked.

Like the rest of my blog empire, John Duffy's Sacrifices probably will only amuse me, and almost surely will never get too high on the block market, but it should be fun... we'll see.

Friday, September 28, 2007

I'm Getting Married!

I'm getting married! Married to the beautiful future Mrs Tiffany Duffy! And we will have a beautiful future.

I must admit it took me a while to write this post... everything sounded cheesy... or like I was writing wedding vows... when all I want it to say is I'm getting married! I'm getting married! I'm getting married! and maybe have a little picture of me doing backflips with excitement. My head shot would be this picture:

and Tiff's would be this picture:

and your mouths would move like South Park characters, screaming... I'm getting married! I'm getting married! I'm getting married! I'm getting married!

We are running away from the spotlight, traditions, and costs of your typical wedding to get married on the sun-filled beaches of Jamaica. We leave in 66 days... I'll try and get a fancy countdown clock on the side. For all the details, here's our very own website.

We are still planning to have a Recognition party, because when people get married you better recognize, but we are thinking that instead of January we will shoot for spring when the weather's a bit nicer.

I don't think the merging of the Duffy's and the Hanback's will allow us to challenge the Klingons for inter-galactic supremacy, but it does set the stage for world domination... or at least a long and happy life.

I'm getting married!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

It's Written in the Stars

I'm a Yahoo user, mainly because when I first signed up for an email account my name was available on Yahoo... or actually I think it might be Yahoo!. The exclamation mark makes them much more exciting than the other search engines. And well once you pass out your email address to folks, why bother changing? ... or ... why bother changing! Anyways, Yahoo! changed their format a while ago, which is much nicer, and now I can check my email right on the home page! Rah. I can also now check my daily horoscope easy enough that I actually do.

Horoscopes are a strange thing. They are always so mysteriously formal and direct. "A coworker cannot be trusted today." "You will make exciting travel plans today." "Do not be tempted in splurging in expensive items." "Today you can do no wrong. Enjoy it while you can." They are always written as though they should be carrying an exclamation point at the end, not so much in the excitement the Yahoo! evokes but more in an urgent, threatening way. With even the calmer ones it's like the Zodiac is almost challenging you to defy it.

My astrological challenger is the Taurus. Today's reading is more of a celestial bitch-slap: "Certain truths have become too obvious to ignore -- so stop ignoring them today." Oh, O-kay. Don't hurt me. What does it mean? Am I to have a revelation today? I better had... mess with the bull, you get the horns. I hope I don't miss it. There should be a ray of light and angels singing so I know when it's happening.
The day is half done, and here's my only revelation: Don't put too much stock in the stars.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Fun in Bed


It's fall and Tiff and I are back to doing art shows on weekends. This past weekend we went to tiny Edinburg, VA for a full blown fall festival. This small town knows how to throw a party. As a vendor, there were some serious flaws, most notably we were near the end of a long string of tents and I believe I-81 was closer to us than the center of town. We were so far down that the parade that went through town didn't even make it to us.

We did however have a good spot as far as the activities go. Thankfully we were close enough to hear one of three concert sites, so we got to listen to old time music... I mean like Oh, Brother Where Art Thou old time music. It was great. We got to watch all the hot rods and dressed up antique cars drive by honking their antique horns, including General Lee from the Dukes of Hazzard. De-nuh-dun-dun-dunun-dunun-dun-dun-de-dun. And then we got to see tractors roll in the other day for the antique tractor show. But that was nothing compared to what happened at the end of the weekend.

Right after I put two dollars down on what I thought would be the winning duck in the annual duck races, a man started talking over a PA system, saying "it's almost time, clear the road, clear the road." And as people were scurrying to either side of the road, pushing for a good spot, the police rolled in a speed checker and sat it at the bottom of the hill. And with one more "clear the roads or you could get hit" they announced the start of the Bed Races.

That's right, beds with wheels racing down the street. Here's a picture of your winner, who reached speeds of a blazing 25 mph.

It may have been the goofiest thing I have ever seen... and pretty dangerous - this year only one bed rolled over on a guy, who walked away unharmed, but I can't help imagining myself racing down the streets of Edinburg, wind in my hair, tucked in tight, praying that I don't fall over, just having some fun in bed.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

And the Winner Is...

(the final installment of the two part squirrel saga) part 1

A few months back, I set a humane trap for the squirrel, Dexter, that lives on my balcony. As you may know, Dexter has done some serious damage to my flower pots, bird feeders, christmas lights, and EVERYTHING else that was on my balcony. I had to bring everything inside so it would not be destroyed. All that remained out there were some ceramic pots (he can't possibly chew through those), a table (no chairs because he can chew through those), and a pile of things in the corner (that I don't care if he chews through and have no room for inside). After this major clean up, I didn't see the squirrel for months. The trap was out there, food was in it, and no squirrel was in sight. I thought I had settled the score and triumphantly declared myself the winner.
Tiffany: Wins/ Dexter: Loses

Fast Forward 3 months.
Last week, the cat was acting weirder than usual. I went to the window and saw the squirrel trying to fight my cat through the glass door. I'm not kidding, fists were raised. It was a little scary. Dexter eventually got bored with the cat and retreated into the pile of stuff in the corner where there was an old chair cushion that I guessed Dexter had been using to keep cozy on chilly nights.
Tiffany: 0/ Dexter: 1
The next day I bought a big jar of peanuts. I put some in the trap, thinking "AHA! I've got you now, Squirrel!" I waited. And waited. I left the window for 5 minutes to get a glass of water. When I returned... the peanuts were gone. And no squirrel was in sight or in the trap.
Tiffany: 0/ Dexter: 2

Now, I realized with the score looking like that, I should step up my game. Turn up the heat. Show this squirrel what he's dealing with. So a few days later I watched as Dexter took off down the building to find some food. I put on my gloves and got a trash bag and went outside to dismantle the pile in the corner and even up the score.
I went straight for the old cushion, which Dexter had chewed into thousands of pieces. I picked it up and thought... "hmm that's heavy for a half-eaten cushion"... and then it started to move. Babies. Baby squirrels. So I went inside and got my camera and took some cute little baby squirrel pictures.
UNTIL one little baby freaked out and ran to the other side of the balcony. There was nothing I could do. I tried to move toward the railings so the little guy would run back to his nest, but he was too scared. He held on the ledge with two feet and screeched for his momma (Dexter is a she I guess) and then, after some hesitation, jumped off the balcony. And it's a long way down, folks. It hit and bounced and sat there for a while.
Tiffany: 0/ Dexterina: 3
So I ran inside and got a shoebox and went down four flights to find it... When I got down there, it was gone. I looked for a half an hour.... In pajamas, gloves and with a shoebox right in front of a busy major road. I spent the rest of the day feeling horrible that I'd caused the baby to jump to it's possible death. I imagined it lost and cold and hungry, never able to find it's mom & siblings again...
Tiffany: 0/ Dexterina: 3 + major guilt factor points

Later that night I was watching Smallville with John and I heard a faint screech.... the same screech as before.... and I asked myself... WWCKD? (Which of course stands for What Would Clark Kent Do?) And I knew what I had to do. So I got my shoebox and ran downstairs... and I found the little guy hidden under the basement level stairs. I slid under the nasty stairwell and tried to get him... he ran to the other stairwell... So I slid under that one. After repeating this process 5 times, I finally caught him. I returned him to my balcony and Dexterina quickly came out to get him. His little nose was bloody, but he could still run, so I'm guessing he's going to be okay.
I forfeit. I'm laying my armor down. The Squirrel has successfully aquired herself a safe winter hiding place, and I will never again question who is more clever. Not only did Dexterina win the war, she also managed to make me genuinely interested in squirrels. If you want to see some cute little squirrels for yourself, I found a squirrel webcam website where you can see just how cute they are 24 hours a day...
Final Score::: Tiffany: Big Loser/ Dexterina: Winner.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The Real Smallville?

And then this was in the news today.

A village in Peru was hit by a green meteorite on Saturday and now the people are all complaining of a strange illness. When investigated, a local official said that"boiling water started coming out of the crater and particles of rock and cinders were found nearby. Residents are very concerned." No need to worry, it sounds like Clarico Kent has come to rescue us all.

DVD Viewing

I got carried away with talking about how great Smallville is with that last post so I thought I should start a new post for this. The Smallville DVD is coming out today... Season 6. As much as I love the show, I've never seen a episode at it's regularly scheduled time nor have I been bothered with commercials.

A friend got me into the show after he bought the DVDs and I've watched them all that way. It might be an old thought by now, but it really does make it that much better. My one beef with the masterminds who started putting out DVDs of shows is, today the DVD comes out. Season 6... I haven't seen a single episode of it. There's something like 24 episodes in a season. Season 7 starts next week on TV. Now I'm not saying that I couldn't watch a full season in a week, but I just don't see it happening.

Somebody Save Me

I think I am in definite need of rescue. Lately, I've been watching a lot of the cheesiest show on television and it's going to my head. Smallville is all about the strange adolescent and young adult years of one Clark Kent. These are the years when he learns many of his powers and how to control them, and not to mention how to hide them. All the while he saves the small town of Smallville from a never-ending supply of meteor freaks and battles his own demons to figure out his destiny... becoming Superman.

Like the CSI's, SVU's and NCIS's of the world that ask questions like who did it or what happened, Smallville has these questions with each show, but you generally know what will happen next... Clark Kent to the rescue! Unlike these shows, it's also asking what's right and what's wrong. Even though we almost always know the answer.

Clark Kent may always choose the right thing, but the right thing to do is often not what you want him to do. And with Clark Kent's friend Lex Luthor, a man we know will be evil, it's always fun seeing him teeter on the edge of good and bad... always wanting to do good, but usually winds up being evil.

It may be a good show, but it is on the WB, now CW, home of Dawson's Creek and Gilmore Girls... and I don't even know what else. And as such the standard dopey acting, especially with Clark and Lex, exist, but it also makes the show worth rooting for. Just so long as you remember it's based on a comic book.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

OPEC HQ

I don't really have anything important to say, but why is the headquarters for the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries in Vienna, Austria? Okay here are the countries in OPEC: Algeria, Angola, Iraq, Indonesia, Iran, Kuwait, Lybia, Nigeria, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, and Venezuela.

Here's a map of the OPEC countries.

Here's another map of the OPEC countries with a big red X on Vienna.


I'm all for asking "why not?" but it just seems strange. I guess in a way it makes sense not to use a city anywhere in the cartel. And I'd be all for Vienna, too.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Get the Led Out

I've bought a lot of music this summer. It just sort of happened. I bought one that was pretty good, so I decided to buy another and then before I knew it I was buying two and three at time from Amazon. ...and I used to be so frugal, such the penny-pincher. I used to have a rule with myself that I would have to really truly enjoy two songs on an album before I would consider buying it. Now with Amazon's "People who liked this also bought ..." list I'm not even really sure what I'm getting, I just need a second or third to get me over 25 dollars and avoid shipping costs.

So anyways, I've got, well, Tiff and I got the new Ryan Adams, Rooney, an awful, awful Josh Rouse CD, which was very disappointing, the new Feist, Andrew Bird, Mika, Paulo Nutini, Cary Brothers and I'm sure there are more. Most of which were really good... Josh Rouse though. I don't know what happened. He has two amazing CDs and then a so-so CD and then this god-awful piece of junk.

Whatever though... I've been listening to this stuff almost exclusively for awhile, enjoying my music. Life's been pretty great. Then the other day, I'm not sure what got hold of me, but I decided to throw in a mixed CD that Tiff made of Led Zeppelin, the first song being Tangerine, and it blew away anything that I had been listening to for several months now.

Between the two of us, Tiff and I have a whole lot of CDs, maybe it's time for me to find my frugal roots and rediscover some good music. Especially if I'm going to save up enough money to go to London in November to see Led Zeppelin perform one last show, along with several other big names... and Paulo Nutini.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

New Look!! New Blog!!

I started a new blog. Blog is a terrible word for it. No novel ideas or insights into my life will come from it. Like my list of words blog, this new blog is just a list, a list of places I want to go... and perhaps that I've been - I haven't quite worked out all the details yet.

When I was making the new blog, I ran into some blogger features that I didn't know about, like the option to change the colors... so I changed the colors on this blog. The verdict still out on it, but it sure is easy to change. In fact I'm conducting a poll to see if people like my new look. It's on the right, please vote. Switching the colors killed my hit counter though... I think the 2100 or something hits were almost all me anyway. And it knocked out my tip jar which I plan on getting back up soon.

Alright, with no further ado, I give you John Duffy's Places.

UPDATE: There's so much cool new stuff! I'm not sure how long a lot of this stuff will last, so I encourage everyone to take a look around.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Thanks A Lot, Yahoo!

For months now, we've been worrying that our wonderfully weird cat (who still has no name)is not getting enough exercize.

We decided to put her on a diet, even though she doesn't eat all that much in the first place. Being an indoor cat is taking a toll on her naturally active inner-killer, and she spends her days lounging on the sofa and gazing out at the world.

After a few days on the diet, we searched the Internet for ways to cure kitty boredom. I found what I thought was a great Yahoo! article about ways to help put some outdoor adventure into indoor cats' lives. It suggested a "puzzle feeder", which I immediately made out of a shoebox and some tape. I cut a hole in the side big enough for her paw and put a scoop of food inside. The cat was busy for an hour (obviously hungry from her few days on the diet) picking out pieces of food, one by one, and eating them off of the floor. We thought our problems were solved and we had a happy cat on our hands once again.
We let this go on for a week, feeding her mostly from her puzzle feeder. Then one day she knocked over her treats so violently that the container burst open and she was able to eat several handfuls before we caught her. It was then that we first started to question the article's "work for food" advice. So we started feeding her in the bowl and leaving food in the puzzle box (for her adventurous moments). We thought this was the answer and all was well until, a week later, we noticed the food in the bowl wasn't getting eaten as much as usual. We assumed she just really loved her puzzle box.
A few days ago, as we ate our dinner, the cat decided to eat her dinner, too. We looked down to see the cat taking food pieces from her bowl one at a time and eating them off of the mat. Then she moved on to the water, pawing droplets out onto the floor and licking them up. Thanks a lot, Yahoo! for training our cat to be obsessive compulsive.

On the upside, she is spending less time on the couch but only because her new method of eating takes hours.