Sunday, February 27, 2011

Sunday Morning Haikube

Here it is... the second installment of Sunday Morning Haikubes:
Just is case you can't read it:
A REFLECTION ON MY FAMILY

all feeling happy
I you your her he my me
never leaves a war
Powerful stuff.  Powerful.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

My Favorites: Day 22

My Favorite Lie I Have Ever Told

Lie? I don’t lie. I’ve definitely tried a few times, but like George Washington with his famous cherry tree, I cannot tell a lie… at least not very good ones. Every time I try, I tend to let my imagination take control and end up weaving this story that borders on the unbelievable.

For instance, in middle school we were learning about the Middle East in Social Studies when, all of the sudden, I was overcome with the urge to raise my hand. After the teacher stopped her class for my benefit, I spent at least five minutes talking about how my grandparents moved to Egypt for a few years and they were just moving back. I have no idea where it came from… I’m guessing I was just bored.

Another big deterrent for me is the guilt I carry with lying. I would not have thought of myself as having a guilty conscience, but it is definitely there and definitely pretty strong.

As an example, when my wife and I were first dating, I ran out to 7-11 for candy bars, which is an oddity in and of itself. I returned with this harrowing tale of being followed by the police because one of my headlights was out – they even followed me through a u-turn! None of it was true, but my wife, who at the time was not my wife, was all concerned for me (which looking back, may have been what I was hoping for), I think because I seemed pretty shaken up by it. A few days later, without any prompting, I confessed that none of it was true. It was like I could hear my guilty conscience beating through the floorboards.

It also doesn’t make any sense to lie because it just gets complicated. Lies to cover up lies to cover up lies.

I cannot think of any examples for this. In fact, the two examples that I used, I remembered with my wife’s help. I’m sure that I lie from time to time, but I think it says more about me that I can’t think of any that I’ve told. Yep, I’m just that wonderful of a person that lies are beneath me.

Monday, February 21, 2011

My Favorites: Day 21

My Favorite Guilty Pleasure

I have to admit, I was a bit thrown by this category.  I wasn't sure I had any guilty pleasures, and a few minutes after finding out the topic I turned to my wife for help, and I quickly realized that I have many.  She said that guilty pleasures can be anything from a food (Combos... if I have to go into a gas station for any reason, I usually walk out with a bag of Combos) to a song (there's something about Lady GaGa that draws me in) to a television show (I pretend not to watch the Bachelor, but...). 

My good wife then defined a guilty pleasure as anything that you enjoy doing but you don't gain any benefit from, and with this definition, I knew what my guilty pleasure truly is: something that my wife calls "scheming." 

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Singing in the Car… On the Way to Church

Last week, I dutifully answered that my favorite song to sing in the car was none other than… White Snake’s “Here I Go Again.” The hairband power ballad from 1987 has to be one of the greatest songs to sing in the car ever, and I stand by what I said last week, because it is awesome when it comes on the radio. Since declaring it as my favorite, however, I have not sung it once, but I have sung the-third-song-on-the-first-Josh-Ritter-album-that-I-owned almost non-stop.

Here's a video for it, just in case you want to see further into my head:
Oooohh... time-lapse.  Pretty.

Josh Ritter is probably very well respected among the music industry, but I, for, have never heard him on the radio, nor do I ever intend to.  The songs are not the right mixture of whatever it is that appeals to the masses, so imagine my surprise when I see Josh Ritter being quoted on a church letterboard sign.

My Favorites: Day 20

My Favorite Wedding or Wedding Dinner

Although it is very easy to do, I don’t like comparing weddings. They are all wonderful in their own way, although I’ve been to quite a few that were oppressively hot, and no one likes to sweat. My sisters all had great weddings, and for the most part my friends have all had good ones too. But the best wedding of all time was the one where I was the groom!

My wife and I eloped in Jamaica. Actually, I’m not sure if I can say that we eloped, as we had planned it out ahead of time. In Jamaica, if you stay at an all-inclusive resort for three nights, you get a free wedding! How can you refuse a free wedding? We actually were down there for just over a week and we loved every minute of it. The beach was beautiful, the water was warm, the drinks were great, the food was amazing, and the goats were really fast, except mine.

You’ve read this much, why not…

Sunday Morning Haikube

The Month of Favorites is still going strong, but I wanted to break in and try something a little different for what I hope will be a Sunday morning tradition.  Here's a video with an explanation:

So the unopened box of Haikubes that I got for Christmas has sat on my desk for close to two months now.  I get a lot of odd gifts from my folks, hey Mom!, and this was no exception.  With this gift though, I think my Mom found a diamond in the rough. 

As I mention in the video, it's simply roll a bunch of dice with words on them and use those words to create a haiku, which is a three-line poem with the first line containing five syllables, the second line having seven syllables and five syllables for the last line. 

Here's this morning's haiku:
I'm no haiku expert, but I think it turned out pretty darn good!

You should be able to click the picture to enlarge it, but just in case you can't read it:
A REFLECTION ON MY CHILDHOOD
fortune of one boy
shelter under lofty limbs
embraced    I marvel
Pure genius.  Be sure to check back next week for more Haikube fun!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

My Favorites: Day 19

My Favorite Thing About Cats

When I began this Month of Favorites, I asked my wife to write down a month's worth of topics to pick at random.  She did more than enough and said that I was allowed to pass on any topic if I did not like it or could not think of anything.  After ever topic is revealed she says something like, "if you don't like it I could give you another," but I have not taken her up on it as that doesn't seem to hold true to the original concept of this challenge.  With this topic, as much as I would like to pass, I am certain my wife would not allow it.

The thing about cats is that they almost always seem to annoy me or be annoyed by me.  They don't want attention when I want to give it to them, and when they want attention, I don't want to give it to them.  I especially don't want their butts in my face.

I have two cats now.  They don't get along, which is even more annoying.  We have a grey girl cat:


And an orange boy cat:
Neither one of them has a name.  I've taken to calling them simply, Boy and Girl.

As much as I could whine and complain about all the things that these cats do, I must admit that it is always nice coming home.  In their own way, each of them offers a wonderful reception upon my arrival.  One likes to stretch out and scratch myleg as a way to say hello, and the other is just noisy.  It's great for about five minutes, then one won't leave me alone as I'm trying to take off my shoes and with the other, it becomes clear that he is just waiting to be fed.

So all in all, the best thing about cats is those first five minutes.

Friday, February 18, 2011

My Favorites: Day 18

My Favorite Blog Post

Oh wait, so this post by me is all about the greatness of a blog post that I wrote and is more than likely all about how great I am?  I love it.

There have been several over the years that I think about often.  I'm not sure which, if any, is the best written or most insightful or anything like that.  Using the tools and resources provided by blogger, I am pretty sure that three posts are in the running as the most viewed.  They are my original post featuring my coin pusher video, my post theorizing that the wedding ring is what is preventing our second and third finger from conjoining at some point in evolution, and my account of my hives ordeal.  I'm pretty sure they are very popular to people poaching pictures from the web.  Yep, I know for a fact that this picture has drawn countless people people to my blog:
The posts that stick out in my head though include a few others.  The misadventures of giving blood at an art festival was a good one.  The trip to a wedding in Florida feels like it was the most ambitious.  For some reason, my thoughts on Halloween one year floats through my head.  And how can I not like this story that made my Mom laugh.

If I were to choose a favorite though, it might not be one of my own.  Here's something my brother-in-law posted a while back:
On bedbugs

posted on August 9, 2010 at 8:30 am

Here’s a charming column from an etymologist on bedbugs. Buried deep inside is this graph:
In fact, precious few aspects of bedbug biology are endearing. They don’t build their own houses or care for their young, and their sexual practices are bizarre even by insect standards: Because the female bedbug has no genital opening, the male inseminates her by using his hardened, sharpened genitalia to punch a hole through her abdomen. With no elaborate courtship ritual, males in a frenzied pursuit of sexual congress often blunder into and puncture the bodies of other males, occasionally inflicting fatal wounds.
That’s just wrong.

I predict you will never forget that fact. You’re welcome.
I've started explaining this to people a few times only to decide that this is something that is bad enough to read.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

My Favorites: Day 17

My Favorite Color

Wow, basic.  The thing about something like colors is that as normal as the question "what's your favorite color" is, you are just weird if you have a true favorite.  Or maybe I'm just weird for not having a favorite.

What I mean is, for instance, I really like the color green, but is it my favorite color apple? No, red is.  So is red my favorite color for a pen? No, black is.  So is black my favorite color for a shirt? No, it's probably blue.  So is probably blue my favorite color for an M&M?  No, it's probably yellow.  So is yellow my favorite color on a traffic light?  Of course not, it's green.

Yeah, I went with traffic light... I'm not sure why.  There is, however, a reason I used M&M's as an example.  A few years ago, I was asked this very question and I bravely and without humor tried to identify the color of the discontinued tan color M&M:
How to describe the light brown ones in there?
Trying to be more descriptive than light brown or tan I said that my favorite color was "warm brown," which can easily be a rather unappetizing color without using much imagination.  I've run with it ever since, leaving out the description of what I mean by that.

At the time, I think that color was an honest answer - that warm brown was my favorite color, but now, I think if I were to choose a color that I just really like I would choose a dirty yellow color.  I'm not sure any explanation is necessary.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

My Favorites: Day 16

My Favorite Lunch

This is a tough one, but before I get started, I must say today’s Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich could have been hand-crafted by the gods themselves, with the god of moderation playing a key role.

You see, the trick to a stupendous Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich is the proportions. Too much peanut butter or too much jelly and the overwhelming joy of the Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich is lost, at which point a dark cloud casts a deep depression that can last for up to 24 hours… until it is righted by a properly proportioned sandwich.

Getting back to the topic at hand, this category could be answered several ways. I do enjoy my Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich most days. Moreover, I enjoy eating them by the Lake Where I Eat Lunch Often. And while I choose for my daily lunch to eat a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich over, say, an egg salad sandwich or salami and cheese, it I can not say it is the best thing I have ever had for lunch.

If I could enjoy a warm, golden beef patty on the northern beaches of Jamaica everyday much like in this picture,

Yeah Mon!
I most definitely would. It is, quite possibly, the best lunch I have ever had.

I’m going to switch gears and say that right now, it is time for you to join me in the writing process. After I boldly proclaimed that the Jamaican beef patty “is the best lunch I have ever had,” I had a thought and went back to add in the “quite possibly” modifier. I had an amazing meal at the Snack Shack in New York City . The burger was great, the milkshake was amazing and I was introduced to the Arnold Palmer, which is tea and lemonade combined, which I’ve convinced my wife is actually called a Tom Collins.

If I were to think harder than I typically like to do, I could probably come up with other amazing lunches that I have had the pleasure of devouring in the middle of the day, but I’ll stop for now so as not to further ruin the shine glistening off my Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

My Favorites: Day 15

My Favorite Summer Activity

I’m not sure I have a favorite. It is definitely not the summertime staple of shooting fireworks. Those things are loud and dangerous, and I don’t like them one bit. The kind that shoot way up in the sky and you can lie back on a cotton blanket and enjoy the show in a comfortable way… those aren’t too bad, but the ones where you light the fuse and run just to see a few sparks and really loud noises don’t interest me.

I like hot dogs and hamburgers, though. And live music and festivals. I like the minute that the lawnmower or weed whacker shut off after a long time of running and you quickly remember how quiet it can be. I like falling asleep to the hum of crickets at night and waking up to the cool morning before it gets too hot. I like swimming in the pool, and by that I mean bouncing around in the water as I’m not a great swimmer.

If I had to pick a favorite though… growing up, summers for me always included a trip up the east coast from Atlanta to Maine . Some of my favorite memories are rowing a small rowboat around the cove and across the river. It’s hard to think of that as summer as the days weren’t oppressively hot, but I think it definitely qualifies.

Monday, February 14, 2011

My Favorites: Day 14

My Favorite Photograph

This one is easy.
It's Valentine's Day; I got my wife a balloon.  I usually roll my eyes at the balloons in grocery stores, but I had a connection with this balloon as soon as I saw it.  I ceased it and took it home to my beautiful wife, after I paid for it in full.

I've gotten behind and put yesterday's post on hold.  I may come back to this one with a picture more than three hours old, but until then:

Sunday, February 13, 2011

My Favorites: Day 13

My Favorite College Memory

While I'm tempted to simply say "No Comment," I'll just say that this post is currently under-construction.

This is it completed:
Oohh… this is a broad category.  I should begin by saying that I have amazing memories from college. 
 
Strangely, one of the first things that come to mind is the walking.  I walked everywhere, all-the-time, usually wearing the same pair of leather Birkenstocks or felt clogs in the winter.  I went to a college that had converted a road that ran down the center of it into a brick sidewalk, turning it into what they referred to as a “walking campus.”  In fact, towards graduation I had dreams of creating a story for a book based on my college experience… I got as far as the title, Bricks and Birks.
 
The last two years of school, I lived a few blocks off campus.  Most days included two separate trips to campus, with the frequent stop at the library being on the other side of campus.  I’m not sure how far I was walking everyday, but it had to be at least a couple of miles.  Trying to do that today, especially thinking of some of the hills involved, would not be easy… I think I’m breaking a sweat just thinking about it. 
 
In college, I always heard people complain about all the walking and I probably threw in a complaint or two, but looking back on it, I quite enjoyed that amount of walking.  If only my current lifestyle allowed me to walk to work, wearing Birkenstocks.
 
I have a bunch of other memories, but most are the kind of thing that you had to be there for or should be left as “No Comment.”

Saturday, February 12, 2011

My Favorites: Day 12

My Favorite Local Spot

Now, this is a great topic and one that I would not have picked on my own, so thanks Tiff.  Sadly, none of the readers that I know about are local, so this might not be very interesting to anybody.  I have wild dreams about the Muted Guerrilla transforming and growing into some sort of town journal, except that instead of having articles about just the big events and news of the day, it would be about the people and places that make up the town... and maybe some events.  It might sound weird and destined to fail, but I can see it in my head and it is magnificent.  Unfortunately, I have a job and a life and bigger ideas that keep getting in the way... maybe one day though.

Back to my favorite local spot, there are a few good ones that I love to go to that I'm excited to share, after the jump...

Friday, February 11, 2011

My Favorites: Day 11

My Favorite Chick Flick

Does Mama Mia count?  That movie was great, so much so that another written-but-not-published post was devoted entirely to it... and the commercials on during it. 

Anyways, so I missed writing this on the right day.  I mention it because, even though I'll back date it to yesterday, an odd thing happened this morning.

This morning, as I was enjoying a waffle breakfast and preparing for the Saturday morning soccer game on ESPN2, I flipped through the channels and back-to-back were the two movies that were in the running.  It was like a championship showdown at 9:30 in the morning!  My wife laughed out loud, seeing the dilemma arise. "Well, here it is, I think whichever one you choose has to be your favorite," she said, knowing me better than myself.

My response was "What about A Cinderella Story," the Hillary Duff/Chad Michael Murray masterpiece, retelling of Cinderella.  I knew she was right, though.  A Cinderella Story just filled a void one slow weekend and was never seen again.  I was ridiculed about it relentlessly for a few months afterwards, but I really have never seen it since that weekend... when I watched it twice.

So what two movies were on and which is my favorite?  You're going to have to click past the jump to find out.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

My Favorites: Day Ten

My Favorite Book

This seems like a standard “My Favorite…” subject. Everyone should have a favorite book or at least a handful that they can hem and haw over if they’re asked. It actually kind of feels like a first-date type question; the answer reveals not only if they are a reader, but what type of person they are. What I’m getting at is that there is an odd amount of pressure with this post.

I don’t want to come across as being an intellectual snob by listing the books that everybody knows but nobody reads, nor do I want to come across as being completely aloof by going with Where’s Waldo. With that in mind and much like when I’m at the bookstore, you can’t go wrong with Oprah. “Is it any good? It’s got the Oprah Book Club stamp of approval! It must be good.”

You might, however, go wrong using a method that could be called “the Muted Guerrilla Mentioned It.” Yep, recent books I’ve mentioned in passing are Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, the Sookie Stackhouse books (aka the I-know-you-think-it’s-disturbing-that-I-am-sleeping-with-a-vampire-because-I-can-read-your-mind books), and Carpe Demon: Adventures of a Demon-Hunting Soccer Mom (for unseen and extraordinary reasons, this post was fully written but was never published… I blame Jeff. Plus it was during the tie challenge and I wasn’t hurting for posts. I use it as an example because it fits well with the others.).

All of those are good in their own weird way, but I would not have described my literary tastes as being so… undeadly, but you are what eat, I suppose. And that gets back to that first-date question. Fortunately, I do read enough other garbage that I could think of something else to say, and therefore not scare anybody away.

So, all that being said, for My Favorite Book, I am going to say… East of Eden. This is a book that borders on the literary snobbery as it was written by Nobel Prize winning author John Steinbeck, but I picked it up at a library book sale because it had the Oprah Book Club stamp of approval! Plus, it’s hell-a-good. Hell-ah!

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Honk if You are Royalty

Just in case you’ve missed it, I’m defining my favorites. While I had thought through my answers for topics like “Favorite Color” and “Favorite Television Show,” my wife who I have assigned the role of Topic Generator has thrown a few screwballs my way. Surprise, surprise, I have not posted everyday, but I do have a post for every day, including last Saturday when the topic led to the newest Must-See John Duffy Video!

Anyways, I wanted to break from this Month of Favorites because I just stumbled upon the coolest thing ever… I think I know what I will ask for for Christmas next year. An excerpt from an article:
Then he jokingly told his wife, Mindy, “I should be a lord.”

She replied, “I’ll buy one for you.” Lord of Bedlington happened to be available. These titles can be bought for as little as about $325, and his was on the low end, Mr. Rich said. For the billionaire who has everything, it amounted to a Christmas stocking stuffer.
You can buy a British title! It’s everything I’ve ever wanted!

Here’s the article, which tells an equally cool story. This guy from Buffalo, New York has no desire to own, just build up a very small soccer team in England … of an area that he is now Lord over. Someday I hope to be able to do something similar… albeit that would take some serious money.

My Favorites: Day 9

My Favorite Song to Sing to in the Car

The Roswell High School Fight Song… du, du, du, duu, duu, duu, d-d-duu… Go Hornets!

This seems like more of what I expected coming into this challenge, and I’ll begin by admitting that last Friday after work I arrived home almost hoarse because Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” came on the radio. It was great. You can’t not sing to that song… although, I have stopped trying to do the headbang part during the guitar part a la the scene from Wayne’s World.

The thing about songs, and what makes music so great, is that there is a different great song to sing for all occasions and emotions. “Bohemian Rhapsody” is great in a lot of circumstances; as is Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell” and Radiohead's "Creep.” Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin’” has me singing in most cases, as does Guns ‘N’ Roses’ version of “Knocking on Heaven’s Door” and The Rolling Stones’ “Sympathy for the Devil,” which might be favorite song overall.

As for My Favorite Song to Sing, the answer is an easy one for me: White Snake: “Here I Go Again.”

Tiff says I have to give her credit for these choices, because I never would have listened to many of these before I met her.  To be honest, I do listen to plenty of other stuff and sing the hell out of them too, but songs are that much better if they come on the radio and the third song on the first Josh Ritter album that I bought is never on the radio.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

My Favorites: Day 8

My Favorite Times to Wake Up and Go to Bed

Ooohh… a two-parter. My brother-in-law once told me that as a kid, he would stay up late every night because he didn’t want the day to end… because tomorrow would mean another day of school. That’s a bit of a paraphrase, but it is something that I think about a lot, like whenever I’m channel-surfing at some crazy hour of the night.

That being said, the answer to both has the same explanation. It is always nice to get everything done for the day and then realize that it’s only 9:30 in the morning. It makes me talk to myself, “9:30 in the morning and I’ve already hung up all my clothes, did the dishes, did some yardwork, fed the hogs, paid the bills and read the paper… today is going to be a good day!”

Yep, it is nice to wake up early - maybe 30 minutes or so after you have to get up for work – and not be tired. It’s also nice to be woken up by the sun, which it seems was how God intended it… pillowtop bed and all. So the ideal time to wake up is around 7 to 7:30.

Sleep is important so if I’m waking up early, I need to be in bed early. Increasingly, I’ve found myself dragging my tired self to bed and, as I rest my head on the pillow, I glance at the clock reading 9:30 at night before turning off the lights and drifting off to sleep with a smile.

Conversely, it’s also nice from time to time to stay up late and then wake up at 9:30 in the morning and realize that there’s nothing that really needs to get done anyway.

Monday, February 07, 2011

My Favorites: Day 7

My Favorite Live Event

I wish I had a long list of live events to choose from. For this particular topic, I wish I had a long list of live events that had all been cataloged and sorted from my most favorite event to my least favorite. Sadly, this isn’t the case and once again I am left uncertain and feeling like I should pick one at random.

First off, I’m going to define live event as anything that people gather to see, excluding movies. In most cases it would be planned and paid for, but I don’t think that that is a requirement. Second off, if I did have a list of all the live events I’ve ever been to, the Kow Bell Rodeo (celebrating one-thousand-seven-hundred-and-thirty-three consecutive weekends of high-roping rodeo action!... looks like it has been torn down) would be near the middle.

This is a big category and as a result it is proving difficult. How do you compare something like singing along to U2 with 60,000 people by your side, to the quiet man with a guitar who sang at a restaurant by the beach? Or where to rank the awesomeness of witnessing Ben Olsen knock in a free kick from Jaime Moreno to tie the game up in the final minute of the game compared to the simple joy of seeing local townies race down a hill on a tricked out bed? They are all favorites in their own way. They’ve each added wonderful memories that I won’t soon forget.

If I were to single one out though, it would probably be the U2 concert. There’s something about that many people coming together that is difficult to describe.

There are a bunch of events that I hope to see live someday.
- A Speech by the President of the United States of America
- The Launching of a Space Shuttle
- Albuquerque’s Annual Hot Air Balloon Festival
- The Ribbon-cutting of DC United’s Soccer Stadium
- A Beached Whale Explode
I’m sure there are few others too.

Sunday, February 06, 2011

My Favorites: Day 6

My Favorite Unbelievable Thing that I Have Done

This one took some time for me to think about. A few self-aggrandizing examples came to mind immediately, but it’s not the right day of the week to inflate my ego so I was left stuck. In fact, I’m writing this a day late in part because I had no clue what would fit as an example; there was also this little football game on too.

I searched the depths of my memory, even recalling some of the horrors that were high school, determined to find an appropriate story to “WOW” you the readers and further perpetuate the façade that I lead an interesting life. While I spent all that time dusting out the catacombs of my mind, I failed to notice what was happening in the here-and-now of the day. Yep, (one of) my favorite unbelievable things that I have done happened this very day.

It all started with a bang around 8 o’clock on Wednesday, January 26th… eleven days ago. It was more of a loud snap actually, as we lost a couple large branches off of the only tree in our front yard. A very heavy snow was falling and quickly piling up. I went outside with a long stick and whacked as much snow off the tree as I could, all the while my lovely wife calling out the window that I “look ridiculous.” The tree being sufficiently whacked, I went back inside.
The gory remains of the heavy snow that hang out of reach.
Thirty minutes later, I realized I had lost my wedding ring.

I wasn’t sure at what point in the day it was lost. I immediately started retracing my steps, but with the snow continuing to fall, there wasn’t much hope. It wasn’t until Friday that I could truly retrace my steps… work, gas station, a lake whose parking lot was still covered in white. It was nowhere to be found. Desperation was settling in as I worried my naked finger with my thumb.

The only hope I had was that it would reveal itself when the snow melted, which brings us eleven days (a week-and-a-half!) forward to Super Bowl Sunday. The story of my lost ring had turned into an increasingly sad tale that was still fun to tell because, like all good stories, there was that one-in-a-million chance of a happy-ending, however fleeting that may be. I told it to a friend who was visiting and soon found myself outside in 45 degree weather shoveling through melting snow. My method was to spread a shovel-full onto the driveway and sift through it. I think a metal pan would have been more successful and after twenty minutes I gave up, deciding for myself that I “look ridiculous.”

As our guest was leaving, my wife and I saw her to the door and said our goodbyes. Five seconds later, we heard her shout, “Found It!” It had been hiding just off the driveway, right by my sifted and melted snow.

At that moment, our guest felt less like a friend and more like a hero. Then she got in her jeep and drove off into the sunset.

Okay, so I didn't do it, but I do have an unbelievable lost wedding ring story that involves nobody but me and 7-11.  That's for another day.

Saturday, February 05, 2011

My Favorites: Day 5

My Favorite Tie

Aargh... that's an unfortunate screen grab-picture-thing.

Friday, February 04, 2011

My Favorite: Day 4

My Favorite Topic of Conversation

Ummm. Myself. Duh. That was an easy question.

Other topics in the running are soccer, DC United, DC United’s need for a new stadium, and what that stadium should look like. I’m hoping there’s a moat… with a drawbridge… that I get to crank up and down.

Today, however, I was forced into a conversation about none of these things and it was still an enjoyable conversation. 

Thursday, February 03, 2011

My Favorites: Day 3

My Favorite Pair of Shoes

Here we go, this is a topic that I like… I tend to get an attachment to my shoes that I can feel deep down in my sole!

I’m actually not much of a shoe guy, but after my last shoe shopping experience I can see the appeal. Every shoe is different and every style can change your whole outlook on life. It’s very strange actually. In fact, it was shortly after buying a new pair of shoes that I embarked on my month-long tie campaign, which I’m still getting comments about.

My current shoes are the hallmark of what makes a good shoe. They are comfortable, stylish, professional, studious, industrious… let’s see… they lace up real nice. They don’t smell too bad yet. I have found that they scuff pretty easily, but I probably should have addressed my car exit strategy anyhow. All in all, I am quite pleased with these shoes.

To be fair, they are replacing a pretty amazing pair of shoes. I think it could be said that these shoes have pretty big shoes to fill. My last pair of shoes I wore for three and a half years, through good times and better times. Milestone after milestone. If you were to look at any picture of me from my adult life, there is a good chance that I would be wearing those brown leather shoes; admittedly there’s a better chance I’d be wearing my blue Island Technology shirt…

My blue shirt is perfect for the beach, and the mall, and the grocery, and the zoo, and any family event, and...

…of which I own two.

If I think about my old shoes, most of them stick out for being very uncool. Example A: black sneakers with bright green shoe laces. I’m not sure why I ever thought that was a good idea. I mean they were a neon green, similar to the color of ectoplasm. I did have some winners though. The glow-in-the-dark zebra stripe Converse All-Stars is the only one that comes to mind.

Growing up, though, I hated getting new shoes mainly because I didn’t want to have to break them in, a process that really only takes a couple of days. Maybe it could be said that my favorite shoes have always been the shoes that are on my feet at the time. Isn’t that the way it should be for everything though?

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

My Favorites: Day 2

My Favorite Bedtime Story or Fairy Tale

Who’s coming up with these topics? This is a topic that I have never put much thought into, but when I was little guy, I did listen to a record player going to bed every night, so I usually fell asleep to some sort of bedtime story. I feel compelled to say that, as the youngest of five, the World’s Worst Wisher and Josephine (...the grass is green) were both pretty scratched up by the time my memory begins. The record of choice for me was … drumroll … the Frog Prince, starring Kermit the Frog. I believe Gonzo was his sidekick. It was awesome.

I even remember part of the song, “They call him Sir Robin the Brave/ And history one day will rave."

The second side was scary and involved those giant monster muppets that are really just big mascot-type suits with scary faces.
He looks a lot like how I picture the Mutant Guerrilla.
 I didn’t listen to that side very often so I actually have no idea how it ends. I’m guessing a burly woodsman with an axe restores the peace and everyone lives happily ever after.

The story of the Frog Prince doesn’t make much sense. You have to kiss a frog to return him to his royal ranks and then in doing so you are rewarded by marrying him and becoming a princess… I think that’s the essence of it. I’m all for teaching folks that we should see the beauty in everyone, even the French, but the story could easily be taken another way. There are words to describe girls who go around kissing every Tom, Dick, and Harry and they usually do not include “Princess.”

Another thing that I’m confused about is, it’s Kermit the Frog. Kermit the Frog wouldn’t magically change into a man-prince, if anything, he would magically turn into a frog-prince… oh, I get it. I guess what I’m saying is that I doubt this story followed the fairy tale of the frog prince very closely, but it was definitely the bedtime story that I remember the most.

Looking it up in search of pictures, I've learned that Kermit's not actually the frog prince.  It's all on YouTube if anyone's curious.  I watched the first couple of minutes and decided I didn't want to see it... I'm happy having heard it.  This is part 1 of 5.

For me, a close second was actually a tie between the Free to Be You and Me record and the Mother Goose Stories record. I don’t remember much of either one of those though, giving The Frog Prince the edge.

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

My Favorites: Day 1

My Favorite Way to Relax

I hear bubble baths and Yanni are pretty nice.

I was hesitant to accept this challenge in part because I feel like what I like and dislike can change from day to day or can change depending on how I'm feeling, so the answer might end up with a rambling explanation with no definitive answer.  Like to relax, I'll admit that my go to form of relaxing is turning on the television, but I almost always lose interest pretty quickly and get frustrated that nothing is on TV.  Commercials are my downfall as far as my attention span goes, and it usually isn't that the commercials are interrupting the program.  I get sucked into the commercial and start to grade them and think how they could be better, and then if I see one that I don't like, then I end up changing the channel. 

Similarly, for Christmas I got the last two seasons of the Superman-inspired Smallville on DVD so I've used that as a daily dose of relaxation after work.  We just finished them this weekend though, so I'm back to square one.

Reading is usually relaxing for me, and I always enjoy doing it, but I'm not sure I read enough to say it is my favorite way to relax.  I usually just read right before bed, but right now I'm reading a book about how Abraham Lincoln was actually a world-class vampire hunter, so it hasn't been too relaxing, or very good for my sleep either as I've woken up more than once dreaming about things that I don't want to be dreaming about.

Music is a good answer.  Driving with the radio on usually relaxes me and often times, I require the drive home from work to relax before getting home.  I love music that I can sing to and a lot of times my throat hurts from singing so loud to whatever's on the radio.  I believe, I have the voice of an angel.

But the answer that I keep getting back to is the great outdoors.  Simply being outside, particularly out in the wild frontier of nature is my favorite way to relax.  Those who know me might be surprised by that answer as I haven't been camping since I was a teenager and the same is almost true of hiking.  I'm also not all that excited about getting sweaty in general.  Just being outside is wonderful though and my favorite lunchtime location is the Lake Where I Eat Lunch Often.  If it weren't for that hour long break from the fluorescence of my little cubicle in front of a glowing computer screen, my work would be a lot more depressing, my days a lot more stressful, and my life a lot less wonderful.

At times I also like to lay on my back and listen to new age meditation CDs.

My Favorites...

In a desperate attempt to write everyday, I'm taking on yet another month-long challenge.  In the past these have been equally fun and frustrating, depending on the challenge.  What makes this month's challenge different is that it is 100% about me.  It's not me trying to do something new or eat a certain way or raise awareness about something (have I done that?), it is about me exploring the most interesting subject of all... myself. 

That's right, this month I will attempt to better define myself every single day through the all-mighty Muted Guerrilla, by defining My Favorites.  To do this I've asked the beautiful and talented Tiffany to compile a list of potential "favorite" topics.  The list will remain top secret and I will randomly select one of the topics to write about each day.  Last night I selected my first topic - Favorite Way to Relax - and will pick tomorrow's topic after I post this one.

If this sounds like a lame challenge to you, well then you clearly don't appreciate all the wonders that lies within this brain of mine, and you can check back next month.