Rock, Paper, World Cup

All I've thought about for a week now is the World Cup. So I have a couple of things to say. First off, the US stood strong against the English, which is awesome. I don’t know about the rest of the world, but I think they’ll win it all. And after the World Cup, they’ll trade in their ball for a bat and win the World Series. Then the World Series of Poker. Then they’ll arm themselves with pistols and take over the world. At that point, only a few can honestly say they were supporters way back when. I will be one of them.

More importantly, with the US only playing about once a week, I need to find some other nations to root for, and I think I’ve got it: North Korea . A bunch of reports are now claiming that their supporters in South Africa are actually just hired Chinese actors. It’s pure silliness, even if it is true, but I love it. It makes me want to hire some fans for myself. I think a supporters group might help me get through the day.

“You can do it!” they would cheer when my work phone would ring. “Oh no!” they would share my agony as another stack of papers is piled on my desk. As my work got monotonous and slow, they would belt out chants to show their support, "Oleeeee Ole Ole Oleeee!" And everyday would end with a standing ovation; I would acknowledge my fans with a raised clap of the hands, then I would remove my shirt and toss it to them as a souvenir. It would be great.

What I like about them even more is something that I’ve only heard once, from a commentator during their game against Brazil . Being on the wrong side of the world diplomacy issues, the players haven’t been exposed to things we take for granted now-a-days. Ipods, cell phones, video games - even television as a form of entertainment is new to them, and while they’ve had some exposure to them they still spend their free time in the same old ways. Namely, Rock, Paper, Scissors. A game they play with such passion and vitriol that games devolve into fits of laughter or chaos.

Rock, Paper, Scissors… I love it. I wish I could be entertained with such basic Good Clean Fun as a game of Rock, Paper Scissors. Maybe all that government censorship and lack of access to this and that has a few upsides to it after all.

After the World Cup though, the US Men’s National Team will destroy North Korea in Rock, Paper, Scissors on their way to world domination.