Thursday, September 09, 2010

Mind Reading Vampires

Lately, I’ve been reading the Sookie Stackhouse/vampire books. While the series started out being more or less just murder mysteries with, how should I say it, unique characters, it has sort of devolved into a Halloween-themed soap opera. And just like Day of Our Lives, I can’t resist. It’s given me a couple things to think about though.

Firstly, I think I’ve got vampires figured out. Sure they can be incredibly powerful and insanely fast; of course, they have an extremely acute sense of smell, hearing, and vision; and legend says they are irresistibly attractive, but I think all this is the result of one thing: sleep.

Vampires are forced to sleep during the daylight hours. They simply cannot see the light of day. That means they’re sleeping a minimum of ten or so hours each day. I don’t know about you, but if I got that much sleep each and every day, I too would be incredibly powerful and irresistibly attractive. As far as the other stuff, super-speed and whatnot, I’ll believe it when I see it.

The other thing is Sookie Stackhouse. Her special power is that she can read people’s thoughts. If she were to read my thoughts, she would see that I think about this all the time. Recently, whenever I have a thought about someone, even if it’s a relatively harmless thought, my mind immediately jumps to this thought of, “what if they can read minds and they are reading my mind right now!” Then, if there’s time, I start to test them, “Hello… hey… are you reading my mind? There’s an extremely attractive person to your left.” I haven’t gotten a reaction yet.

Yep, if mind readers are out there, I’m sure I’ll find one. And when I do, I hope they’ll introduce me to all their supernatural friends.

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