My Favorites: Day 22

My Favorite Lie I Have Ever Told

Lie? I don’t lie. I’ve definitely tried a few times, but like George Washington with his famous cherry tree, I cannot tell a lie… at least not very good ones. Every time I try, I tend to let my imagination take control and end up weaving this story that borders on the unbelievable.

For instance, in middle school we were learning about the Middle East in Social Studies when, all of the sudden, I was overcome with the urge to raise my hand. After the teacher stopped her class for my benefit, I spent at least five minutes talking about how my grandparents moved to Egypt for a few years and they were just moving back. I have no idea where it came from… I’m guessing I was just bored.

Another big deterrent for me is the guilt I carry with lying. I would not have thought of myself as having a guilty conscience, but it is definitely there and definitely pretty strong.

As an example, when my wife and I were first dating, I ran out to 7-11 for candy bars, which is an oddity in and of itself. I returned with this harrowing tale of being followed by the police because one of my headlights was out – they even followed me through a u-turn! None of it was true, but my wife, who at the time was not my wife, was all concerned for me (which looking back, may have been what I was hoping for), I think because I seemed pretty shaken up by it. A few days later, without any prompting, I confessed that none of it was true. It was like I could hear my guilty conscience beating through the floorboards.

It also doesn’t make any sense to lie because it just gets complicated. Lies to cover up lies to cover up lies.

I cannot think of any examples for this. In fact, the two examples that I used, I remembered with my wife’s help. I’m sure that I lie from time to time, but I think it says more about me that I can’t think of any that I’ve told. Yep, I’m just that wonderful of a person that lies are beneath me.