Friday, March 11, 2011

I'm On Strike

My Favorites died off towards the end of the month, but, all in all, it was a pretty fun challenge. My wife still has quite a few topics that she wants to find out the answer to so I may be revisiting this challenge soon… although I remember saying something similar shortly after my month of ties was over.

There is a reason I haven’t posted anything recently actually: I’m on strike.

For some reason, my Google advertising, what they call Adsense, has disappeared from this page and now I’m left with nothing but public service announcements telling me about solar panels. I think public service announcements are great, but these PSA’s don’t feature any primetime television stars, nor do they have any rainbow star shooting across the screen with a four-note melody. And, they don’t get me any money.

I didn’t use to care about the money. I was writing for the people, and even now, once I get started I just can’t help myself; I have to write for the people. But the thing is I know that the Adsense will come back and I will once again get a few pennies every day – maybe even a quarter on a good day! – and I just don’t want to use up all my good thoughts and witty comments without getting paid. So, I think you’ll agree that I have no choice but to strike.

I was going to create a video of me striking. I had it all planned out: It would begin with a shot of me, well-dressed, in front of my front door, with a microphone in hand addressing the camera.

“Well, things appear to be relatively calm right now, but just behind me is the site of on-going protests against what some have called ‘an injustice of the highest order.’”

Cut to me, poorly dressed, unshaven, in need of a haircut and angry as all get out: “It’s an injustice of the highest order!” This would be said in French with English subtitles listed below in order to emphasize the fact that I’m striking.

“I stopped receiving advertising support from the powers at Google. I will refuse to give my self-centered commentary to the people of the world until my demands are met!” (It would sound much cooler in French.)

The well-dressed guy would ask, “and how have your protests been received so far?” And during the protester’s response it would cut to him sitting with his legs crossed from time to time saying, “Uh-huh…”

“Well, protesting is never easy. At first it started out strong, I picketed in front of my computer with this sign.” It reads:
“Give Me
AdSense!
or
Give Me
Something Similar!”
“And after a few days, our rally gained traction...” Cut to a large gathering with our French-speaking protester talking into a megaphone, “What do we want?” And the people would shout, “AdSense!” “When do we want it, “Soon!”

“But that seemed to have little impact. In fact, the louder we got the more silent Google’s response has been.”

“Uh-huh… uh-huh…”

“So now, I have taken to the great Mahatma Gandhi and America ’s Martin Luther King who used peaceful protests to reach their goals. I have protested with a silent sit-in for the past five, no, six days that I will continue for as long as I need to.”

Cut to about twenty seconds of me staring in an obstinate stupor at the computer, hands hanging by my side. Towards the end, my wife would call out from off-camera, “Are you almost done with the computer?"

The well-dressed me would then ask, through a translator, “Have you spoken to anyone from Google AdSense, and what have they said?”

“They say nothing! It is incredibly frustrating! I tried to find someone to contact but they don’t make it easy to contact them. That is why I first went on strike. Because they frustrate me!”

“Uh-huh… And now…”

“And now… yes, I am still frustrated but what else can I do? I stopped writing out of principle, now it’s become something of a routine not to write.”

“I see. What do you have to say to all your readers? Are they not the ones bearing the brunt of this prolonged ordeal?”

“I know it has been especially difficult for my fans. It pains me to no end to ask this of them but I know in my heart that I have their support, and as long as I have their support I will continue to fight for what I have lost!”

And cut back to the well-dressed me standing in front of my house, “As you can see, the frustration is almost boiling over. I’ll be monitoring the situation, but for now, from the home of blogger extraordinaire John Duffy, I’m John Duffy, Muted Guerrilla News.”

Yep, I had it all planned out, it just took a bit too much time as I never got past the first step in making it, Learn French.  Maybe one day though... maybe one day.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Power to the people. Down with the establishment, i.e. Google!

tjd

Anonymous said...

My picket sign is ready, just tell me where to meet.
-dxs

sashameow said...

bleh