The Mutant Guerrilla!!

At some point in the year – it seems to change every year – my parents unleash the family newsletter. This year along with it, they unwittingly released the Mutant Guerrilla! Rehaarr! That’s right – mothers collect your kids – there’s a Mutant Guerrilla on the loose! Rehaarr!

A local man reacted to the news saying, “Mutant Guerrilla, eh? They usually don’t stray this far from the smelly bogs. (He) must be hungry.”

The Mutant Guerrilla. I love it! Rehaarr! Apparently on top of writing the wonderfully insightful Muted Guerrilla blog, I also maintain the Mutant Guerrilla, which I can only assume is much angrier and uses more capital letters. REHAARR! Yep, it must be one of those smelly blogs.

I’m not sure if everyone’s family has a similar experience, but in my family, the annual family update is a practice in wishing the worst upon your siblings. The picture and description of you will undoubtedly be embarrassing, but as long as someone else’s is worse, you’re golden.

Actually, that’s not true. While I bemoan the letter with everyone, each year I secretly hope that I look like a deformed Batman villain, the zanier the better. It’s my only chance of standing out, and I like to be noticed… from afar. The picture that comes to my mind is one, from a few years back, taken when I had a temperature of well over a hundred and I hadn’t shower in a week or so.  I was smiling though, so it worked for my Mom.

In fact, maybe next year the picture of me will be unrecognizable.  Long-lost friends and distant family members will open next year's newsletter and wonder when the Duffy's adopted a thirty year old man who appears almost like a mutant guerrilla.

All that being said, I only hope that everyone enjoys the Muted Guerrilla as much as my parents do.