The Results Post

Happy Halloween everyone, and welcome one and all to the First Annual Jack-O-Lantern Competition Extravaganza, The Results Post!

Unfortunately, I have to begin with an apology. I had a vision for this competition that was beyond anything the Muted Guerrilla has ever attempted, and that is saying a lot! It was going to be interactive and educational and spooky and live up to its Extravaganza title. However, while I had planned on a weekend devoted to everything Jack-O-Lantern Competition Extravaganza, I was thrown a curveball, as my heater broke. You could argue that I still had the time to do it all, but it was cold and I was fully bundled.

Lesson: Don’t procrastinate… especially with the good stuff.

But the blog must go on, so getting back to the competition: The amount of talent on display in this competition was far greater than I could ever have imagined. In the end, the turnout was fantastic with close to a hundred entries from all across the United States.

Here are the eight finalists, which I have given my own titles to: 

The Buck-Toothed Mangler



The Scary Classic

 

Old Shifty-Eyed Haunter

The Mysterious Jack Ness Monster

The Askewed Gentleman

The Rolling-Eyed General

The Host

The Crazy Clown with Spooky Laugh  Hwa-ha-ha-ha!

So these were far away the best of the bunch, and it is a very strong field of contestants.  Unfortunately, only one of these fine jack-o-lanterns sent in a picture of the carver as was requested in the fine print of our entry form, so while an Honorable Mention goes to Reeve Khanjar's The Askewed Gentleman, the winner and champion of the First Annual Jack-O-Lantern Competition Extravaganza goes to none other than...

Date Night

On Saturday, my wife and I shipped our son off to his grandparents, and we went out for a night on the town in our first date night away from our baby since becoming parents. We spent most of our time talking about the little guy.

The big event of the evening was a ballet, the Legend of Sleepy Hollow. I didn’t really understand it – I was expecting a spooky headless horseman prancing around on stage killing people with his full-bodied grace and spandexed form, but the whole thing was about a teacher who was having an affair with someone important… I think. After the intermission, I gave up on following the story and just enjoyed the music and motion. It was pretty good.

While the show took some getting used to, the setting was great. The Hylton Performing Arts Center is the swank new local arts center, which is a pretty impressive building. It has been open for awhile now, but this was my first time visiting.

The Hylton Performing Arts Center even lights up.  Ooohh.

I love big civic buildings like this, particularly when they are done very well. This one is beautiful, but if I had one complaint, I wish that it were closer to town… even though the town in question is Manassas. It would be neat to get all dressed up, go out to a fancy dinner on a pleasant fall evening and then walk through town to catch a show… even if, well, the town in question is Manassas. 

A big part of me wants to be a well-dressed regular at all the high-culture events with all the other well-dressed regulars, but alas, we can only win tickets to so many events.

At intermission, someone wearing a fancy orange suit got up on stage and thanked everyone for coming. As a sort of sales pitch, he mentioned how great it would be if the show was sold out and he is absolutely right. It becomes more of an intimate and shared experience for all, turning it into something of an event.

The view from the cheap seats.

As it was the place was about a third full, which is pretty good for a ballet in a small town… especially given the town in question is Manassas.

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I am unusually excited about my upcoming First Annual Jack-O-Lantern Competition Extravaganza, even though I'm fully prepared for it to be a total flop.  No one will enter and a scandal would ensue as I award first place to myself.  People would scream that the whole competition was rigged, and the Muted Guerrilla would lose all the credibility that it has built up over the years.  I would never be able to self-publish a post on an insignificant blog again!  It would be a tragedy.

To help prevent this, I am trying to ease the process of entering by connecting this old blog to Facebook.  Here's the Official Muted Guerrilla Facebook page, not to be confused with any potential imitators.  If it doesn't work, please let me know.  But the idea is that you can just post your pictures to Facebook and tag them to the Muted Guerrilla... I think that's how it works.  Or if you are like me and you view Facebook as something to watch with a skeptical eye... something that should only be approached with a long poking stick, then feel free to email me the pictures the old fashion way.

Here's where I ask you to Like me, even though I can't imagine anyone not liking me.

In other Pumpkin Carving Competition news... I was going to get a really cool trophy that said !!Winner!! and had a statue of a pumpkin, but the shipping was outrageous, so I am hard at work creating a makeshift trophy out of I-don't-know-what-yet.  I hope to post a photo sometime this week.

Sunday with Leo

Another week older as Leo is now all of six weeks old... it seems like only yesterday he was just a little baby.  Today, Leo and I went for a long walk to a big pond with a bridge.  We did not bring the camera with us, but luckily Leo was in a good mood even after our big adventure.  Here he is:

Just to note: a lot of people say that babies only smile when they are passing gas.  I don't believe this at all as this little guy has been smiling since day one.  That being said, he was farting up a storm when we were getting this video.

Here's another fun one from earlier in the week when the whole family had a picnic at the park.  Leo is one spitty kid.

First Annual Great Jack-O-Lantern Competition Extravaganza

Participant's in last year's unofficial competition.

This time last year, in the midst of a very busy Tie-tober, I posted "The Great Jack-O-Lantern Debate" where I posted pictures of two jack-o-lanterns - one made by my wife and one by myself - and asked for your feedback.  This year, I would like to go one step further.

On Sunday, October 30, the Muted Guerrilla will host the First Annual Great Jack-O-Lantern Competition Extravaganza!  I know that Halloween is right around the corner, so I'm hoping that it is not too late to announce this spectacular event and you all can plan out your creation to make your jack-o-lantern competition-worthy!  If you have already carved your pumpkin, you can still enter it, or you can scrap it and start from scratch to sculpt your masterpiece. 

To enter, send your photos to John T Duffy's yahoo email account.  (If you don't know the yahoo email account for John T Duffy, please contact John T Duffy - don't forget the T - through his yahoo email account.)  Ideally, I would like to get two pictures of each pumpkin, one of just the jack-o-lantern and one of the jack-o-lantern with the contestant.  We will be accepting entries until Sunday afternoon sometime, when we'll post the finalists.  The winner will be announced on Halloween!  There are probably details that have not been mentioned, but I just had the idea and wanted to go ahead and announce it.

Good luck to all and happy carving!

Out for a Stroll

One unexpected advantage of becoming a father is that I can now walk aimlessly around my neighborhood. I don’t need to powerwalk or even wear work-out clothes. There is no need to look good or appear as though I am headed toward some predetermined destination. No, by just pushing a stroller, I can finally amble around my neighborhood, in my pajamas, spying on all my neighbors.

All in all, I am impressed with the majority of my neighbors and, in a complete 180°, have come to appreciate the ones who display their holiday spirit. The holiday ghosts and ghouls of autumn are out in full force by now and our dangling twelve inch witch can’t quite compete. That might be something to work on in the coming years.

There is one thing that almost all my neighbors do that irks me. In truth, it is something that irks me equally when I do not do it. Please click on to learn of this irksome behavior.

Thirty More Seconds

The world is estimated to be roughly 4.54 billion years old. Scientists looked at meteors to determine that. I’m not quite sure the process of doing this, but I think it involves magnifying glasses and a perfect palate. 4.54 billion years is a long time though. By that measure, thirty seconds is not a lot of time.

When you are a month old, however, a lot of stuff happens in thirty seconds. Here’s another clip of Thirty Seconds with Leo, that's me talking to him.

It lost some of its brightness when I uploaded to YouTube... the result is rather Shakespearean!

I have to admit that I’m a little worried about putting my child on the internet for all to see. I have no idea where this concern comes from though. Perhaps because I was never on the internet as a child and I turned out alright and logically, the opposite would be true. Yep, the internet is surely the work of the devil.

Actually, it might be more basic than that. Childhood photos of me from my first year all fit on maybe four or five pages of an old photo album. Let’s see: There I am at the hospital. There I am coming home. Our summer vacation! Not a picture of me. Ah, my first Christmas. A few more pictures not of me. And then my first birthday! Aren’t I so cute?

Leo, on the other hand, has had quite a different experience. When we left the hospital three days after delivery, there were already 500 plus pictures of him. There have been many, many more taken since then, and they are all keepers. Thanks digital age! Plus, if we organized them the right way, I think we have enough to make a flip book of him doing all sorts of baby things.

With the ever present Facebook, our friends and family can keep an eye on the best of all the pictures taken, so I don’t feel bad about posting the best of all the videos. Like this one of him enjoying a nice warm bath… it takes him a minute.

The World's Worst Storm of All Time in the World Ever

Over the summer, I got caught in the worst rain storm of my life. Any worse and I honestly believe it could have been the last rain storm of my life. I mentioned my trip from Virginia to Maine in passing once before, saying that it was “a twelve-hour trek through flash-floods and fast moving water, past sunken cars and closed roads that will forever rank among the scariest days of my life.” Today I mention it in passing because last night I drove through one mess of a storm.

Yesterday evening I had a meeting for work, so after my work day was over, I returned to the Lake Where I Eat Lunch Often for the down time. That’s when the rains began. I first sought shelter in my car, but quickly decided to spend the time at the library rather than cooped up in my car. That’s when the tornados started. Everyone was rushed to the basement or the back issues of the periodicals room on the main floor. (I’ve told folks I went to the basement, but really I was reading the August issue of Yoga magazine, which is alphabetically the last magazine the library carries. It passed the time nicely.)

A couple hours later I walked through the light rain of the late night more than ready to be home. That’s when the rain really began. I didn’t think too much of it until I saw multiple cars in the median and on the shoulder, and the two lane parkway had drivers not in single file but hugging the center line on either side, reduced to speeds of twenty miles an hour. It was terrible.

I made it home in one piece, thinking that I had just driven through the worst storm I have ever experienced, but then, I remembered that horrendous drive to Maine over the summer. I quickly tried to redefine this latest drive home and failed. At home, I said hello to my wife and made no mention of the weather.

This should not be a tricky situation. I should simply be referring to all such storms as “easily one of the worst” but that’s never the case. At the time, when you are in the moment and you are squinting through rain drops for glimpses of the lines on the road that you are hoping and praying you are staying between, it is scary. And it does seem like the worst storm ever. Worst. Ever!

And maybe that’s okay. Maybe all things lose the emotion behind them as time passes on, leaving just a memory and recognition of the emotion. The result being that I can look back on the scariest drive of my life the same way that I would look back on my college graduation, or some similar good event. It’s probably some survival technique that we have developed through eons of evolution.

So… to help my future self out, here is a list of the top five worst storms that I’ve driven through.
1.Trip to Maine through flash floods in 2011
2.Commute home in the snow in winter 2011 that left lots of people stranded, but not me.
3.Commute home after Board Hearing, October 13, 2011
4.Trip to Harrisonburg with the double-rainbow all-the-way, June of 2011
5.Some Future Storm, probably in 2011

I don’t remember any particular bad driving in storm experiences before last year, just bad driving, but I am beginning to suspect that a similar list a year from now might look completely different.

Soccer to Detroit to Power to the People

Alright, this post is a bit long, so before I get going and inevitably lose you, oh faithful reader, let me just say that this post is not about soccer, so please keep reading as I begin with a soccer update.

My local sports team, DC United, is nearing the end of another season. While last year’s team was arguably the worst in the history of Major League Soccer, this year’s team is on the cusp of making the playoffs with three games remaining. Last night’s loss to Vancouver, however, dealt a serious blow to our postseason chances. Regardless, things are looking up for this team, and with a beloved former player as a first year coach and a bevy of young talent, next year will be awesome. Next year will always be better.

And, before I go any further, let me say also that this post is not about DC United’s potential stadium, so I beg you to keep reading as I continue with a stadium updateby clicking onward.

Another Lunch by the Lake

Whenever the Muted Guerrilla powers down for a few months, I always struggle to start it back up again, as I search for that great topic or blend of ideas to swirl out of my head into something worth reading. My new son Leo, I find, is easy to talk about, but it is easier for me to just smile in dumbfounded pride about him. Plus, I’d like to think that I have some other things going on in my life. With this in mind, I return to favorite subject, as today’s rain does not take away from yesterday’s lunch by the lake.

(In my head, everyone is cheering right now at the mere mention of the Lake Where I Eat Lunch Often.)

It was quite the October day. The season is just starting to show itself in bursts of color among the blanket of green. The air, claiming a slight chill that hints of rain to come, is still and helps maintain the perfect mirror image of autumn stretched down by the lake. The only thing to disturb this quaint scene is a family of ducks nearing maturity that cuts a path through the water.

For me, it was but an hour respite away from the busy hustle-and-bustle of the everyday. It is an hour for me to take in the majestic views of nature and enjoy a simple lunch of Peanut Butter and Jelly, which is often the single highlight of my day. But as my mouth watered and my eyes grew wide, I noticed that this day’s sandwich was covered in mold. Blast.

Disappointment comes in two forms, or maybe more, or maybe there’s only one form and there’s another word that formed my emotions as I uncharacteristically took my sandwich, and with a sly grin, tossed it, whole, into the lake.

The result was surprising. First, the swarm of sea birds and geese that dirty up the wharf some fifty feet away did nothing. In the past, I have had to shoo those begging scavengers out from under me, even going as far as stomping my feet to send them away, but I have never once fed those infernal beasts and it was with some pride that I realized they were not moving. I must have gained their respect.

The sandwich, however, floating aimlessly in the still, did not escape a flurry of activity. For at first it looked like one creature, spiraling and writhing within itself, that lunged at my castaway lunch from below, but upon closer inspection, hundreds of individual fish of varying sizes and shapes, none bigger than four or five inches, could easily be spotted, fighting their way to the handcrafted goodness. I don’t believe it was a school of fish, but more like those marching bands made up of home-schooled children from all over that so ravenously took to my moldy Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich.

The bubbling madness quickly began shredding the sandwich and ruining the calm still of the lake. As lunch reshaped from the familiar square of sliced bread into a circle and then, well, a smaller circle, it moved a good twenty feet before hitting some water plants where the frenzied circus continued, sending chaotic ripples throughout the lake and crippling what was no longer the picturesque scene of my beautiful lake.

Throughout this, the birds remained standing, cleaning themselves, on the soiled planks of the nearby wharf. And I returned to what was left of my lunch.

Introducing Leo Duffy!

So, I'm a dad.  It actually happened one month ago today, and the last month has whizzed past in a blur.  I'm already having thoughts of "they grow up so fast" and "remember how small he was at the hospital."

I've been wanting to write something about my new son ever since he was first born, but nothing I write seems majestic and poetic enough to do him justice.  Needless to say, he's pretty amazing and as an introduction here is Leo's first YouTube video.

He is playing the part of a grumpy kid in this 30 second clip.  We took two really good videos in this position of him yawning and stretching before another brilliant idea hatched in my head that caused me to mute the TV for this take. 

I've had many ideas on this blog that haven't all panned out.  And while some were terrible (feel free to visit John Duffy's Encore), some weren't half bad (I still have hopes of a Sunday Morning Haikube).  This one I think I will enjoy as long as the blog stays alive.  The idea: 30 Seconds With Leo.  Thirty second clips of my baby boy, each week.  It is going to be huge. 

I'm sure I'll have more to say later, but for now... he's starting to fuss; I gotta go feed him.