Library Staff

I have recently switched jobs, still doing social work, and have been working a lot more than in my previous job. I work with a group of juveniles in a group home. This week we took the kids to the library to get in community service hours. It went well.

This is surprising to me because every single library staff or volunteer had some physical malady that was impossible not to notice. From the lady with short arms that bent the wrong way to the painfully skinny guy with a slight hunchback, from the guy with thick glasses and a misshapen head to the old guy who blurted out grunts and expletives as though he were dying with every effort he made, the whole group was a snapshot of the stereotypical high school chess club/dungeons and dragons geeks. I've been to many libraries and never noticed this about anyone, but now I can't help but wonder if the library technology career is a magnet for people of this like. I'm not bashing it, and it might make sense, but it was very bizarre.

And then for volunteering for them (it was a book fair we were setting up for), we all got to get a book for free. My choice was from the literary classics section, but I'll admit I chose it because it was on Oprah's Book Club. Then a lady who was supervising, hunched over her cane, came by asking us what we each got, and upon finding out my choice, proceeded to tell me how great it was and walked me through the story including a brief explanation of the ending. She thinks she's better than me. Needless to say, I was pissed.

In conclusion, my opinion of libraries in general has suffered greatly since starting a new job. Perhaps the juvenile delinquents are rubbing off on me, and this is the beginning of the danderous decline of John Duffy. We'll have to wait and see.

Prairie Home Companion

The long-running weekly radio program, Prairie Home Companion, is making its way to the big screen. I was forced to listen to this show everytime I was caught in the car on Saturday evening or Sunday afternoon with my parents growing up. It's hardly ever laugh-out-loud funny and usually is just strange, with jokes like, 'This segment's been brought to you by ketchup. Mmm... if it's red, it's ketchup!' It's also clearly for an audience about two or three generations before me with a section celebrating all the seventy-fifth wedding anniversaries and thirtieth time somebody is turning 49.

I'm not sure how the rich voice of Garrison Keillor will transcend into cinema, but with an impressive actor list, the movie must have a winning script. It will be interesting to see the final product, no matter what age you are.

Don't Mess With Me

I spent most of today in an old high school gymnasium grappling with my co-workers. I'm now certified to wrestle people to the ground, using the Physical Restraint Technique with the really cool Tripod Stand... it's all about the physics.

For legal reasons, I'll add: I am fully aware that I can only do this as a last resort, which is good for everyone out there. I'll spare you all the humiliation of being thrown to the ground. Plus, without knee pads, it hurts like hell.

Links

I had on my link list my brother-in-law's blog and a blog my girlfriend started about the same time as me. The Fearless Critic is up and going with my link still fully operable; on the other hand, ...and The Crowd Goes Wild, the blog my girlfriend made, is disappearing from my link list as of right now. I will be replacing it with my new friend Bailey's blog, Thoughts from the Change Race.

I don't actually know Bailey but I posted about his blog in the past. He seems like a good guy, and it turns out he reads my blog more than my girlfriend. I think this shows who cares more about me.

Oh, if you want to see my girlfriend's blog, with it's three posts, here is the only link there will be. Maybe someday I can return it to its rightful place, but that's doubtful.

UPDATE: I love my girlfriend very much, and I know she loves me too.

Ch-ch-ch-Chia!!

Today I started one of these crazy creatures. I'll have to wait 1-2 weeks before we find out just how green my thumb is or is not. I'll be providing what I'm sure you're asking for - constant updates.

I often make references to movies I like. I hope someone caught my use of a line from Chasing Amy. This is by far the best of the Kevin Smith movies, with Dogma holding strong onto second.

Mariachi Band of Criminals

So apparently, thieves in Mexico City are using the popular mariachi band as a rouse to aide their pickpocketing ways. This just makes me laugh. I can't imagine being the victim here. I think I may still get a bit of a laugh from it.

This has got to be frustrating for actual mariachi band members especially. The article also alludes to this sentiment of the legit mariachi band members. I think more articles on more topics should take into account the perspective of legit mariachi band members. I should take this idea to the networks. I'll be famous.

More Stocks

It seems the addict has become addicted as my beloved ADC Telecom stocks have changed their symbol from ADCT to ADCTD, and the price jumped quite a bit. This sucks for me, now I own less than one share of it, and I feel I should put more money into it, and... I'm beginning to see the start of a slippery slope here.

How can I be stripped of seven shares of something I bought? I knew I should have fully understood the market before I started.

The Stock Market

A couple weeks ago, on a whim, I put fifty dollars into the stock market. The stock market is a thing that honestly confuses me more and more the more I think about it. If I buy the stocks are better so I should sell or something. I don't know. I should write a post about it to help me understand. Anyways, I picked a couple of real winners. ADC Telecommunications and JDS Uniphase. I liked them because of their four letter ticker names.

I sadly admit that I have become compulsive reguarding these stocks, checking them every chance I get. In the same vein as my previous post about Gold Cup, it is exciting to be invested in something. Even if it's just 50 dollars. And the best part is, even though my stocks have done terribly, I am only down $3.33.

Days like today, however, when they both don't move at all, are not exciting in the least.

Gold Cup

I recently spent a day in the sun, living it up with the high society at an annual horse race called Gold Cup, here in Northern Virginia. It's a little foreign to me to be so close to such a lifestyle, but there I was. There were a lot of silly hats with pokadots and feathers, but I must admit, I had a good time.

In the day, they had nine steeplechases and a dog race. I walked away with five extra dollars in my pocket. I mention this because gambling is illegal in Virginia. I do not mean to brag of my exploits into the criminal world, it's just that I was at a horse race - I feel as though I was suppose to be betting something. It is the only thing that made the races interesting. Otherwise, I would have paid 30 dollars to go drink with a bunch of people, some of whom are friends.

I am not supporting Virginia open their doors to gambling, beyond the almost universal poor tax of the lottery. I am just pointing out that cheering for a horse is not too exciting, but cheering for a $10 prize... now that is exciting.

Dying Tree

About this time last year, I bought a Target-brand bonsai tree. Over the months, I have come to really like this tree, although I am convinced the Target Company made this 'bonsai tree' from some crazy kinda plant that just doesn't really grow.

A couple of weeks ago, as the weather got nice, I decided to move my plant onto the patio, out into the open with the fresh air and direct sun, and the world able to look at it as it drives along the busy road I live on.

It hasn't taken well to the change and is wilting and turning brown, but I continue to water it everyday and hope for the best.

Around the same time, I started telling people about this blog. I decided it was time to put it out there for the world to see, for I was doing well to keep it interesting talking about the sex life of bonobos among other things. But then something happened - I knew people were reading this, and what's worse, it's my family who's reading this.

It's an on-line version of stage fright and my little blog here is wilting and turning brown as a result. So I realize that I just need to start watering it everyday, and hope for the best.

So I wanted to apologize for starving you the reader. And maybe every now and then I write something good... a real soaker.

Twin Yokes

Today is my birthday. I celebrated with eggs for breakfast. Actually, eggs taste really good the morning after a long night in smoky bars. When I got a double yoke from my first egg, I thought it good luck and moved to the next egg. When the second egg also had a double yoke I thought it a miracle. 'Great Day in the Morn!' I bellowed triumphantly from my balcony to all the busy bodies down below.

I'm pretty sure my pair of double yokes is a sign from the gods that all is well and they are pleased with me on my progress and growth in the past year.

Dr. Karl thinks differently, however. Dr. Karl explains that folklore tells us that 'a double-yolked egg is... unlucky, because it implies an imminent death in your family.' I hope this bit of folklore proves wrong. Or perhaps one negates the other, does that happen?

So be careful today, but don't forget to celebrate.

Cinco de Mayo

Mexico has been worshipping me with celebration on my birthday for awhile, I'm glad this trend is picking up here in the States.

Miss Jumbo Queen

Well, what do you know? In my last post I asked if there would be just such a pageant, and there is!!

While this version of my Miss Overweight (as long as its glandular) does perhaps show that being big is beautiful, the event has a the added bonus of 'rais[ing] awareness and money for Thailand's dwindling elephant population,' a noble cause for everyone, skinny and chubby alike.

To repeat the same idea as my previous post, I don't care how big you are, and how big you are should not identify you as a person. People should identify themselves with what is important in there lives.

As for me, I'm a social worker wanting to be something else. I live with my girlfriend, and we are happy.

Miss disAbility International

So I think this is bizarre. I originally heard of it when she had lost the title as Ms. Wheelchair, but now they do this. First off, to strip someone of anything for not being disabled enough is not only wrong, it's, as I understand it, illegal.

A quick story: One day I was buying a train ticket to visit my sister. After everything was taken care of and I was walking away, the salesman politely got my attention saying something to the effect of, 'I don't mean to offend you, but I wanted to inform you of our disability rate.' With only a slight disability effecting the right side of my body, I'm fully functional, but in this case, I felt I should in a way humor him. As I started to explain, he interrupted, explaining the policy of no-questions-asked. I was given the impression that this was law. And as I walked away, I had 50 percent of the price of my ticket back in my pocket.

The point being, she shouldn't be asked to prove her disability, especially after the fact.

But for me there is a bigger issue here. As someone who is mildly disabled, albeit extremely mild, and someone who has been working with someone in a wheelchair for 11 months, I think the whole story is wrong, right down to the existence of a Ms. Wheelchair pageant in the first place.

I'm sure I'm in the minority on this one, but I believe disabilities are not something to celebrate, in the same way that they are not something that should cause people to become self-consumed with doubt or grief or just uncertainty. I should add that people should always celebrate their differences; they should always figure out what makes them them. But if someone's identity is simply the Disabled Guy, it does not make for a positive situation for him nor for the community where he carries that identity.

Disabilities are a reality, and now for some reason there is a Miss disAbility. Perhaps next there will be a Miss Overweight (as long as it's glandular).

Mmm... Sexy

I'm all for sexual freedom. What you do in the bedroom is none of my business. Or at least I thought. This is apparently resurfacing, but it's the first I've heard of it. Disgusting.

Pack Your Bags, Surf's Up!

While I should stop commenting on every silly sounding article I see on Yahoo, I think this is worthy of comment.

Angolans are discovering the joys of surfing after a civil war that kept people frightened and away from the beaches.

Yes, it may sound a bit silly, but for a country struggling to rebound economically, the hope of drawing in tourists is incredibly important.

The deadly Marburg virus isn't helping, but surfer's don't care, right? Anything for a wave.

Having a Twin

This is why it would be cool to have a twin.

What happened was a San Antonio mayorial candidate used his twin as a stand in for a parade.

I don't see any fault here. I would do the exact same thing. Of course I would more likely be the stand-in half. I would never turn down a parade. I love parades.

Mankind Nears Perfection

One more of the mysterious mysteries of the world have been solved!

This marks the end of those dastardly unpopped popcorn kernel bastards. No longer will we be standing next to the microwave yelling, 'Pop, damn you! Pop!' Followed, of course, by, 'Aww, man! It burned.' I guess that's for another study.

So, yeah, I didn't realize there was so much science behind popcorn. I'm going to have to wait for a special on PBS to fully understand this one. Where's Allan Alda when you need him?

Hey, whatever happened to that old show from the '80's Newton's Apple, I used to love that show.

Chimping: The Art of Chimp Pimping

So below I mentioned a bizarre ape study; it turns out bonobos are just bizarre apes.

Wikipedia explains that sex is a major part of this ape's culture, being 'used as a greeting, a means of conflict resolution and post-conflict reconciliation, and a favor traded by the females in exchange for food.' It doesn't say anything about pimping, but it's only a blink of the eye away.

They also engage in penis-fencing. It's a time honored tradition.

I guess this means that I should stop telling people that dolphins are the only other animals to have sex for fun and start talking about penis-fencing. Oh yeah!

Bizzarre Ape Study

I clicked on this because I thought maybe it was about a research study that my girlfriend once applied for...

In the study 'the bonobos [the species of ape] will be able to cook in their own kitchen, tap vending machines for snacks, go for walks in the woods and communicate with researchers through computer touchscreens.'

The article makes it sound like the study will be ongoing, lasting through generations of these animals, which have a life span of fifty years. That's just crazy.