Montage

Tiff put together a montage of a few of the better clips from our night of Quelf... one of the greatest games of all time.

Johnny Bubblenut

I mentioned Quelf in passing a few weeks ago. It is truly one of the greatest games around. It is however completely random and you have to be willing to do anything and everything from writing and performing your own song to putting six ice cubes down your shorts until you roll a three with the dice.

We got the chance to play this weekend, and Tiff had the camera out at every chance. There were quite a few good ones, but many were too long and just too randomly nonsensical to include. But here's one that I had to do... and every action I made was laid out in the instructions on the card.

Everything except the tie around my head... that was a game-long rule that I had to have a tie around my head like a ninja.

The lighting's not so good because Tiff was acting like Siamese twins with our friend Dustin, so she had moved her seat.

Anyways, Quelf... anyone who's up for fun, and making fun of himself, should give it a shot.

Food For Thought

Today, I treated myself to Chik-Fil-A. I’m not sure why, it just sounded really good. Chik-Fil-A proudly claims, repeatedly on every wall, that they “didn’t invent the chicken, just the chicken sandwich.” I don’t know who invented what, but both inventions – the chicken and the chicken sandwich - should go down as miracles. Their sandwiches are just that good.

But here’s the strange part… the music. They weren’t playing “Top40Hits” or “Music While You Work” or “Today’s Best Music” or even some sort of Country that I’ve come to expect at places like that. They were playing straight up Gospel, with a little bit of God Rock in there.

I didn’t recognize it at first. It all kind of sounds the same to me. But as I was watching the water change color in the urinal, I heard something like “Praise Out to Jesus” being sung over and over. I tuned into it after that, and every song offered joy-filled adoration and praise to our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

I was a bit surprised to say the least. I mean I get Chik-Fil-A maintains this closed-on-Sundays, holier-than-thou image. And their chicken, I believe, is truly heaven-sent to satisfy my deepest cravings. Plus, the people at this particular Chik-Fil-A were Ned Flanders happy and helpful – they took my tray when I was done!, but not before asking if I’d like more fries, on the house.

I declined the fries, but it all got me thinking; is it okay for a general business, open to the public, to play god music? I pondered it and decided that I would expect a McKosher-Fil-A King to play some sort of Hassidic chanting… or at least hope that it would. Somehow though, it doesn’t seem right. This wasn’t the Christian Café, it was Chick-Fil-A. I think it might have just been a bit too close to my shaky faith to be honest.

In the end though, I was cool with it. I praised out to Jesus and enjoyed my sandwich miracle. I did not get a milkshake, even though they are some of the best around... even though they are sinfully delicious.

OMG! IHDEM!

Yesterday I went to the dentist to have my cavities filled. My usual dentist wasn’t there, so just like in school, they brought in a substitute. And just like in school, the substitute wasn’t very good. It was awful and I hate the dentist even more. I started recounting my trials to Tiff and she couldn’t stop laughing at me, so she turned on the camera.

Basically what happened was… after me knocking onto the floor all the stuff that would go into my mouth as I was reclining from sitting to laying down, which I had no control over, I got three abnormally painful shots. They got the top half of my mouth feeling all funny, but they didn’t do the trick for the bottom. So, I got two more shots for the bottom.

The dentist starts working on the top and drill, drill, drill… OW! Insane amount of pain. I raise my hand like I’ve been told to do if it hurts. The first thing he said was something like, “it shouldn’t be hurting now.” And if that wasn’t comforting enough, he then said to his assistant, “Have you ever…?” He explained that if it didn’t hurt before it shouldn’t be hurting at this point. Then he gave me another shot.

As I was waiting for the sixth shot to kick in, I started thinking about my wife’s grandfather who – through stories – apparently cut off part of his toe because of a persistent blister that was bothering him. I’ve heard the story several times and I’ve always been impressed with the level of pain tolerance, but sitting in that chair, for the first time I began to wonder why he didn’t just get a different pair of shoes. It was this story though that helped me through the pain that would come.

Yes, the pain continued. After the amount of time, dear old dentist, with drill in hand, had at it. This time the pain was pretty intense but I was determined to man up and get through it. Plus, I didn’t want the giant needle in my mouth anymore. When after about thirty seconds of drilling, the pain level shot up and I involuntarily reacted, the dentist jerked away from my mouth and said something I hope to never hear again, let alone from a dentist: “You’re scaring me.”

You’re scaring me, doctor. I pushed through until the drilling was done. And then it was time for the fillings, which involved giant metal spacers and picks that stick between your teeth. All in all, it was awful. And while I hate flossing and have trouble doing it, I will be flossing from here on out, if it means that I will never experience that again.

IHD! by johntduffy
design your own t-shirt at zazzle

Something to Look Forward To...

I just bought some new underwear the other day. I sprung for the middle tier price. It was worth every penny. I think that underwear shopping should be a regular event, much like checking your smoke detectors and visiting the dentist.

So I’m marking my calendar: I bought them on Sunday, September 13. Six months would be March 13, 2010. Now that is something to look forward to.

So I Married a Vegetarian

Tiff’s gone all vegetarian on me. I have not. I have a movie to thank, Fast Food Nation. I’ve read the book, which was disgusting, but in the movie, which I haven’t seen, they show the process. It sounds even more disgusting and would likely lead even me to go vegetarian. Tiff’s talked about going vegan, but I think she feels like that’s more about reading labels than eating food, so that hasn’t happened… yet. Plus, to have to go through life without cheese would just be a shame.

It happened on my birthday, so she’s been going for four months strong now. It’s not exactly what I wanted for my birthday, but it hasn’t been nearly as bad as I would have thought. Our meals haven’t changed too terribly much, and we are eating a lot of pasta and Mexican-type food. When we go out to eat I still get meat, so we have been going to Chipotle and Red Robin a lot more. Red Robin has great hamburgers, and according to Tiff even better veggie-burgers. We still go to Five Guys too, and she’s got me eating the veggie sandwich, which is just their fully loaded burger without the meat. There is no veggie patty and you don’t really miss it.

I do however eat quite a bit less meat now. My lunches are now strictly peanut butter and jelly. We don’t eat chicken and sloppy-joe’s and meatloaf of course, but I’m eating a whole lot more hot dogs, for better or for worse. She’s got me thinking about it quite a bit, which is strange. Our milk is now organic, which is better for us too because we never drank a lot of it and the organic stuff is good for like a month before it spoils. Our eggs are from a local place too, on the way to my in-laws. Last time I drove out there, I had to slow down because the chickens were walking across the road - I’m not sure why.

Anyways, all this is old news and has become part of our lives, but I mention it now for this. I went vegetarian once. I sacrificed meat for a whole month, it wasn’t too bad and it made for some fun times. I’ve started up the Sacrifices again… starting with video games. It’s not too terribly exciting, but I’m doing it and you’re going to hear about it, so check it out!

In Training...

The Krispy Kreme Challenge is only a few short months away!

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight
Rising up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor
stalks his prey in the night
And he's watching us all with the eye of the tiger!

Taking the Challenge

I’m in training… well, maybe I’ll start tomorrow.

I’ve wanted to get in shape and maybe a drop a few pounds for quite some time. I don’t think I’m crazy out of shape, and I’m not crazy big, but it would be nice to start to feel like I’m healthier. The problem is that I like to eat.

I eat sweets. I eat other stuff, but it’s sweets that get me. I don’t think I’d have much trouble not eating squash or not eating cabbage, but the thought of not eating sweets is awful… and I should know! I’ve tried it before! And look where that got me – sure I may have felt better, but it left me with nothing to say – nothing to say to you, the world!

I think I’ve found a solution to all my problems. It is something that combines what I want from myself and what I want for myself; it gets me in shape and lets me eat cake. Well… maybe not cake, but the Krispy Kreme Challenge is all about running and eating donuts. I’m seeing two big positives – where could this possibly go wrong?

Okay, so the annual race, in its fourth-year this February, has you run through Raleigh , NC for 2 miles, stop and eat a dozen donuts, and then run back 2 miles to where you started. It is brilliant! I’m so excited!

I do need to seriously start training up for it though if I’m going to be able to do it. So, Today: I’ll try to eat a dozen donuts. Tomorrow: I’ll try to run 4 miles… and if I’m feeling up for it after that, I might try to eat a dozen donuts, too.

US Open Cup

I cheered till the bitter end.

DC United hosted the US Open Cup, but it was the visitors that hoisted the US Open Cup. Congrats to Seattle, who won the game, and has clearly won the hearts of some die-hard fans.

The game Wednesday night was truly great. Despite being outplayed through much of the game, DC lost in dramatic fashion, down a man, with several opportunities to even it up in the final minutes. This video my wife took... I didn't realize she was so short... no wonder she didn't like it as much as me.

As my wife said at the time, “Why can’t the whole game be like this?” The surprisingly large-ish crowd was loud and raucous throughout the game and for me, it was really cool to be a part of it.

Seattle though, a city that’s almost 3000 miles away, had a good size crowd of supporters there themselves, and they got the run of the entire upper-deck. I’ve said it before, it’s pretty damn impressive those fans of theirs.

While there was little to celebrate afterwards, the atmosphere at the game was wonderful and it makes me want to go again and again, even if I have to go alone. I think my wife has reached her fill of soccer for the season, but there’s always next year.

Plus, tomorrow night DC United’s on TV! Hopefully, I can cheer till a better end.

Another Weekend Older

This past weekend we had company in town, which is always fun. We played a few games, we ate a few meals, and we saw a few very young people.

First off, we played a few games, beginning with ping-pong. Here’s a quick video:

We also played a couple of board games, including a game that we just got called Quelf. It may be one of the greatest games ever made. It is like a very random Cranium game for grown-ups… mixed with some rules from drinking games. It is sublime.

I also have to say that we went out to eat twice, both of which were playing sports on their TVs. And that sport… soccer. Off the premium soccer channel, no less. There we were, eating our food, watching Italian soccer like it was baseball or football or something. It was great! I imagine with the start of college football this weekend, that trend will quickly end. It was good while it lasted.

And lastly, on Sunday, we slept in and got a slow start and then drove the hour or so down to my old college campus, Mary Washington College. We walked through the neighborhood a bit and then walked down Campus Walk and checked out all the new improvements they have made over the last seven years... which are quite impressive. We didn't see many people, so when we saw some students, we asked them when classes started and everybody returned to school. The answer surprised us at first: Classes started last week. It's just Sunday... and it's still early. Then I looked at the clock and remembered... 1:30 in the afternoon on a Sunday was early at one time in my life.

Oi... I'm getting old.

House Update

So the home improvements, while never-ending, have slowed considerably, and our house is becoming more and more lived in. I thought this would be a good time to record a second little walk-through... here's the post of the first walk-through from the day of our home inspection.

It turns out I'm a bit long-winded... who knew? It's just that I'm not sure what to say sometimes and I don't want to look stupid or worse - have Tiff roll her eyes at me! I never seem to pass that second test, but I get so off-topic and talk about the unimportant that we broke this up by floor and each one is still like ten minutes long! So... hope you got some time on your hands before you begin this.

Okay, here's the first floor/basement/garage:

Now's a good time to run to the bathroom...

Be sure to check out John Duffy's Encore! featuring artist extraordinaire Tiffany Duffy!

What is up with that chin I've got going on!?! Oi ve... time for a diet! (More on that in future posts.)

All in all, our home is everything we could ask for and more. Well... I could think of a thing or two more but we have to have something to strive for!

Encore! Encore!

Lately, I’ve been making an effort to post semi-regularly… and I hope you’ve been making an effort to read them semi-regularly, while keeping up with my archive of great posts from the past, perusing through my catalog and re-reading your favorites. I have been hearing your silent appreciation and inaudible calls for more for weeks now and am proud to announce my encore presentation, John Duffy’s Encore.

That’s right, from the guy who tried to bring you John Duffy’s Words, John Duffy’s Sacrifices, and still manages to bring you John Duffy’s Places every now and then, comes an all new addition to the World of John Duffy, John Duffy’s Encore! (This is where you, the reader, squeal with delight.)

I know what you are thinking and I can assure you that while, my encore has begun, the main event is far from over. The Muted Guerrilla is healthy as ever and will continue its great tradition of being great. With John Duffy’s Encore, my wife and I will be trying to highlight cover songs - good, bad and downright odd - and I think that the two of us agree that we spent far too long finding a suitable name for it.

My wife wanted something that was kind of catchy, but her main requirement was something not cheesy. I didn’t realize how hard that would be for me. First off, I wanted it to begin “John Duffy’s…” which Tiff wasn’t too excited about, as she will be just as much a contributor as me. However, I see it as just sticking to an already laid out theme – that of my own greatness. It looks like I won that one.

John Duffy’s what though? For a long time, it just sat blank as we bounced a few ideas back and forth. Then I was sure I had it, John Duffy’s Cover Discovery. I think it’s beautiful, but admittedly, there is that extra syllable and Tiff wasn’t too psyched about using the word “cover” in the title. I didn’t fight this as my “John Duffy’s” opener was still on shaky ground. I quickly changed focus and my mind bounced from Cover Discovery to Cover-alls to what I still think is a brilliant name, John Duffy’s Poncho.

John Duffy’s Poncho. I love it! I need to get into merchandising.

While I was envisioning crowded streets on a rainy day with everyone wearing rain jackets stamped with www.JohnDuffy’sPoncho.com, my wife was busy thinking. In a moment of brilliance, she spouted off possible tag-lines, “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” seemed the obvious favorite, but then she twisted it around to “The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions,” which seems to suit the direction we were heading with the blog. It wasn’t long before Encore was suggested, and we knew we had a winner.

The possibilities seem endless, so be sure to check out John Duffy's Encore now. With the way I keep up with these things, who knows how long it might be around! Don't miss out!

Expect the Unexpected

These thinking errors are contagious! Now that I’ve diagnosed DC United Ad Campaign, I’ve been pointing out flaws left and right.

This summer, after three seasons of mild interest, I’m excited about the fishbowl of flaws that is Big Brother, which I believe is the original reality game show. My wife's been into it for a few seasons now, and I've always rolled my eyes about it and haven't hesitated to tell her what I think of it. This year, however, I have seen the light and am now a true fan.

It even took some time this season, but I willingly admit that I am now addicted. When a show has three crucial shows a week, you almost have to be addicted to watch it. When you find yourself scouring the internet for more info, you must be addicted. And if you're taping Showtime's Big Brother After Dark each night so that the next day you can watch up to three hours of people living in a house, you must be my wife. (That last one works out well for me though.)

I used to think that I didn’t like the show because it feeds on discord and thinking errors. The more arguments and fights that it has the better, and there’s something about me that doesn’t do well seeing angry people. I get worked up. My muscles get tense. I get angry and I find myself always aligning with one side and having a never-ending inner monologue of retorts and rebuttals defending someone that I typically don't really like.

But that's part of the reason why I think this season is different. While of course there are definitely still the trouble-makers - Chima's Uniqueness thinking error for Giving Up at the First Sign of Failure and for Expecting More Out of Others than From Self got her kicked out of the game by the producers! - there are actually people that I like in the game. There are people I'm rooting for and would like to see win the whole kit and caboodle and who I'm hoping don't make any silly mistakes. Tonight's episode should reveal a lot about where the game is headed.

Anyways, Big Brother's tag line is Expect the Unexpected, and while it has been very unexpected that I've gotten so wrapped up in the show, I guess I expected to get all into some random show. Now, as far as me making fun of my wife for liking such rubbish, maybe I should point the thinking error finger at myself.

OMG! IHD!

I hate the dentist. I went yesterday for the first time in 18 months, and I’ve decided that I truly hate the dentist.

I remember as a kid being excited about the dentist. I always got to leave school early. I hardly ever had cavities. The people were always so nice and friendly. And, I always got a new toothbrush. It was great. I think everywhere you go should have some sort of small parting gift. (I’ll have to figure out what I can give folks when they come visit me. “Don’t want you to leave empty handed!” I would say.)

What I do not remember, even in the slightest, is the pain. I get that they are using sharp tools and that they have to scrape right up to the gums, but golly, I walked out of there with the taste of blood still in my mouth. The pain was not just physical either. They hurt my pride. And that’s a wound that will take a lot more time to heal.

You see, after they got me good and bloody, they started poking at my teeth and calling out things like “DO on 32,” “MO on 13… and 7,” and “Wrought-iron fence on 24.” I could be wrong on the lingo – I hope – but when it was all said and done I have eight cavities! Eight! I had nine cavities last time I went to the dentist, and that was after not going for something-like 6 years! Eight cavities!

I think the good dentist saw the heart-broken surprise in my eyes and quickly said, “You just need to floss.” She went on to explain that I have four cavities that are affecting eight teeth. Four cavities are still way too much. I was expecting a clean bill of health! ... and a toothbrush.

It all makes me hate the dentist. In fact, I feel the need to protest publicly. Maybe next time I go to the dentist, I'll wear a shirt that says, "I DON'T FLOSS!" and "I hate the dentist." That'll show them.

IHD by johntduffy

We Win Trophies

As I’ve said before I’ve become a strong supporter of DC United. They are one of the most successful teams in American soccer, and Wednesday, September 3, they take on newcomers, the Seattle Sounders, in the US Open Cup Championship here in Washington . I plan on being there. I’m already very excited!

My excitement is triply doubled for reasons best explained by the website, We Win Trophies. As the link explains, Seattle complained that they should be able to host as they will be able to sell out the mid-week game, which is not only true, but pretty damn impressive. Last year, DC hosted the game to a crowd of barely 8,000 fans – albeit die-hard fans. Seattle went on to say how their fans were best in the league and yadda-yadda-yadda. Well, that’s just a smack in the face to this not-yet-die-hard fan.

So the team is making a strong effort to draw in people to the game with this elusive We Win Trophies campaign. The story goes that the ads started out on the metro as signs that just read “09-02-09 We Win Trophies.” Then they got this weird sticker ad on the front page of a local paper, not The Post, that said the same thing on the front, but then you peeled it off and the back had info about the game. Now, it’s pretty well advertised all over.

As much as I love that they can say “We Win Trophies,” I’m worried about what it implies. The Washington Nationals are currently last place in baseball, the Redskins are perpetual under-achievers, the Capitals are really good but can’t, well, win a trophy, and the Wizards… basketball’s so far off my radar that I’m not sure what to say. DC United has definitely been the most consistent championship team, but it is need of more fans and I’m just not sure that it’s smart to lift yourself up by putting the others down.

When I worked as a counselor, we would call that a thinking error – Views Self as a Good Person. (That wasn't what we called it, but it's the same list, same author and I can't remember what we called it.)

Regardless, I’ll be there; I encourage anyone and everyone to come. It should be a great game and I’d love to see the seats full.

Plus, at the end of the game, there’s not just a winner, there’s a champion, trophy and all. How many games that you’ve been to can you say that? Go United!

Pass the Pigs

A few weeks ago, I went up to Philadelphia to see a friend and catch a baseball game. Unfortunately, this year we did not catch a foul ball. But I did catch-on to a cool new game, Pass the Pigs.
I never knew two little pigs could be so intimidating! But once you start the game, your hopes and dreams can build and fall faster than a crazy night around a craps table. And these two pigs are at the center of it all. You throw them up and let them land and the "swineherder" calls out the score, but you have to know the Pass the Pigs lingo, which can be kind of tricky. Here's me doing my best doubling as the swineherder and the play-by-play commentator.

That wasn't even half the scoring too!! As you can tell "pig outs" are bad, but not as bad as if you rolled this:
The dreaded piggy-back. I've never seen it, but I can only imagine. Not only do you lose all your points for the round, you lose the game out-right. It would be awful. Of course, I guess if I saw someone else roll it, I might just go ... hog... wild.(?)

Christian the Lion

If you're anything like me, you saw this video awhile ago when it was an internet sensation:
It really is a pretty cool video.

Today, I was flipping through channels when I stumbled upon a documentary about that video on Animal Planet. While it doesn't make me want to go out and get a lion, it definitely makes me want to live in the 60's... those were groovy times. They kept playing the big finale throughout the hour long show, and it never got old. It's just an oddly amazing story.

I like to think I have a similar bond with my feline friend (you'll have to sing your own Whitney Houston):

Well, you know what they say, separation makes the heart grow fonder. I hope that would be the case.

Another Day at Lunch

Now that I’ve mentioned my lunch break, I feel oddly exposed and I feel like I should say more and more about it until it has become... well, over-exposed. Maybe I should rename my blog, Lunchtime with John Duffy. It sounds like the title of really good Saturday afternoon PBS programming! “I’m your host John Duffy. Let’s cook something good today.”

Anyways, today I took a camera with me to add pictures of this place that I’ve been talking about. Today was pretty comfortable weather-wise as there was no summer sun, but that might be a bad thing as far as pictures go. There were also no birds… I’m not sure where they went. Here it is from where I sit:

And if I turn and look right:
I took this picture because there are probably about two weeks worth of apple cores behind that post and that damn water bottle is still standing there, unfazed and mocking me.

I think I would like having a camera with me at all times for any blog-worthy thing I run across. I would call it my BlogCam and if I got one, I could say that I’ve entered my BlogCamEra. It would take some getting used to though, the whole photojournalism thing.

For instance, instead of last week’s heroics of me saving a boat, today -drumroll please- I saved a life. Let's start with the fisherman who was "just trying to catch one damn bass" before he had to go to work. I know this because he told me so as he walked from the dock on my left, as seen above, to the dock on my right:

A few minutes later, there was a loud splash off to my left and there on the dock is a fish flapping around. I watched him for a minute or two... I was surprised how long he fought it, flopping around like fish out of water... oh wait... and then there was just still. I didn't want him to start smelling, so I went up to push him in the water. He was clearly still alive, and with a kick, I watched him swim away.

It was only after the fact that I remembered the camera sitting with my lunch. Yeah, I definitely still have a thing or two to learn about photojournalism. Next I'll try to figure out over-exposure.

A Little Boat

Last week, I saved a boat during lunch.
It was a pretty pathetic boat though. It didn’t fit in with the other aluminum boats with their shiny motors and fancy green paint that surrounded it. It was just a small rowboat; it reminded me of the boat I used to row around a small cove in Maine , except this one didn’t have any oarlocks. Or oars. And it wasn’t painted. And its plywood sides were coming apart. And it had about 6 inches of water in the bottom. And there was nowhere to tie it on to anything.

I think maybe it had saved itself, as it was floating unattached in the water wedged between a boat and the pier. I just spotted it and realized it wasn’t attached, so I pushed it around a little with my foot (almost falling in the water in the process) and then decided to go find the elusive marina staff, who took care of the rest.

Today, it sat on the land right in front of me, and I sat and stared at it curiously, as I slowly ate my lunch. Where could this boat have come from? How did it end up here? Who would possibly use this boat? I wondered.

My first thought, admittedly, was images of Cuban refugees trying to survive the 90 miles of open seas that separate them with Florida . Being as I live in Northern Virginia, this is probably not the case – unless people are escaping the horrors of Fairfax County . I’m not ruling it out though. It is conceivable that the Cubans got swept off course and this is where they ended up… I mean, it is missing its oarlocks after all.

Then I thought it must be a ghost ship. Not in the sense that it’s captained by the dead who are now roaming the land, but maybe it had sunk somehow and something recently – a rain storm maybe – has unsettled it and it rose from the murky depths. The standing water, the damaged sides… it all adds up.

So my mind moved on and I started wondering if it had a name. All the other boats around there have names like PW13265 or PW13476… boring names, if you ask me. I figure I’m the one that found it so maybe the staff that I talked to would approach me in hopes of naming it after me, the John Duffy. I think I’d have to say no. Even the most pathetic of boats deserves to be named, but I’m holding out for nothing less than a bridge. The John Duffy Bridge . It would be great… although something tells me that perhaps the pathetic little boat would be more fitting.

My Sister, the Artist

So it's been awhile, but I think I've mentioned that my sister Becky is a fabulous artist somewhere in a past post. Recently - errr, six months ago - she changed games in the art business. Rebecca Duffy, artist on the road from show to show, was out and Rebecca Duffy, elite gallery owner, was in. I got to see her gallery, full of art from many, many artists, in June and it is very cool... very perfect for a gallery.

It's in Downtown Wilmington North Carolina, which was pretty cool to begin with but now it's got this must-see gallery in a building called Chandler's Wharf. So the art is cool, the place is cool, the building is cool, the town is cool... I'm not sure why I wouldn't go! Here's a little promotional video they put together:

The River to Sea Gallery, it's the place to see and be seen, and it's currently, the only place where you can get my wife's art, if you don't have the internet, which... I'm guessing... oh dear reader of mine... that you do. Just a guess.